Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Rashtrapati bhawan mein party shuru hui....
Rashtrapati bhawan mein party shuru hui....
Waiter: sir, kya loge?
Advani: Leni to Shapath thi.....
par chalo tum Jal-jeera hi de do.
नरेन्द्र मोदी की दूर की सोच:
नवाज़ शरीफ और करज़ई को इसलिए बुलाया ...
ताकि शपथ ग्रहण समारोह में कोई आतंकी हमला न हो।
😬
In the mean time, Rahul Gandhi to Sonia: "मम्मी जीता तो मै था,
फिर शपथ स्मृति इरानी क्यों ले रही है??"
Waiter: sir, kya loge?
Advani: Leni to Shapath thi.....
par chalo tum Jal-jeera hi de do.
नरेन्द्र मोदी की दूर की सोच:
नवाज़ शरीफ और करज़ई को इसलिए बुलाया ...
ताकि शपथ ग्रहण समारोह में कोई आतंकी हमला न हो।
😬
In the mean time, Rahul Gandhi to Sonia: "मम्मी जीता तो मै था,
फिर शपथ स्मृति इरानी क्यों ले रही है??"
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
क्या आपको पता हैं की भारत अब साफ
क्या आपको पता हैं की भारत अब साफ
सुथरा रहेगा kyuki
अब पूरी ,
"निरमा वाशिंग पाउडर"
की टीम
"संसद"
में मौजूद ....?
हेमा ,
रेखा ,
जया ,
और
सुषमा ,
सबकी पसंद ,
निरमा
"निरमा वाशिंग पाउडर"😛😝😜
सुथरा रहेगा kyuki
अब पूरी ,
"निरमा वाशिंग पाउडर"
की टीम
"संसद"
में मौजूद ....?
हेमा ,
रेखा ,
जया ,
और
सुषमा ,
सबकी पसंद ,
निरमा
"निरमा वाशिंग पाउडर"😛😝😜
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Political humor: ये मोदीजी भी कैसे आदमी है अभी तक भी शपथ नहीं ले रह
ये मोदीजी भी कैसे आदमी है अभी तक भी शपथ नहीं ले रहे......
अगर केजरीवालजी जीत जाते तो अबतक इश्तीफा देकर निकल गए होते.....!!!
अगर केजरीवालजी जीत जाते तो अबतक इश्तीफा देकर निकल गए होते.....!!!
Every girl has two problem:
Every girl has two problem:
1. kutta kaise dekh raha hai
2. kutta dekh bhi nahi raha
*ab kutta kya kare?* 😝😝
1. kutta kaise dekh raha hai
2. kutta dekh bhi nahi raha
*ab kutta kya kare?* 😝😝
Thursday, May 22, 2014
A fellow walked into a pet store and was looking a
A fellow walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, a Chief Master Sergeant from the local Air Force Base walked in and said to the shop-keeper :"I'd like a line service monkey, please."
The clerk nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the Chief, "That'll be $1,000." The Chief paid and left with the monkey.
Surprised, the fellow went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah-----that was a line service monkey. He can park, fuel, and service all Air Force aircraft, conduct all required ground ops testing, rig aircraft flight controls, and all with no mistakes. He's well worth the money."
With his interest peaked, the fellow looked around and spotted a Monkey in another cage with a $10,000 price tag. "That one's even more expensive! What can it do?"
"Oh, that one is a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey. He can instruct at all levels of aircraft maintenance, supervise all corrective and preventive maintenance programs, supervise a crew of maintainers, and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The guy looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, "$50,000". "Holy Shit! What does this one do?"
"Well," the shopkeeper said, "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, fart, screw the female monkeys, and play with his pecker, but his papers say he's a pilot!!!"
While he was there, a Chief Master Sergeant from the local Air Force Base walked in and said to the shop-keeper :"I'd like a line service monkey, please."
The clerk nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the Chief, "That'll be $1,000." The Chief paid and left with the monkey.
Surprised, the fellow went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah-----that was a line service monkey. He can park, fuel, and service all Air Force aircraft, conduct all required ground ops testing, rig aircraft flight controls, and all with no mistakes. He's well worth the money."
With his interest peaked, the fellow looked around and spotted a Monkey in another cage with a $10,000 price tag. "That one's even more expensive! What can it do?"
"Oh, that one is a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey. He can instruct at all levels of aircraft maintenance, supervise all corrective and preventive maintenance programs, supervise a crew of maintainers, and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The guy looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, "$50,000". "Holy Shit! What does this one do?"
"Well," the shopkeeper said, "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, fart, screw the female monkeys, and play with his pecker, but his papers say he's a pilot!!!"
One afternoon a wealthy manager was driving in his
One afternoon a wealthy manager was driving in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers....and there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS
😄😀😃😛😭😂
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers....and there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS
😄😀😃😛😭😂
एक कर्मचारीको उसकी कम्पनी के तरफसे 'सायकल' मिली..
एक कर्मचारीको उसकी कम्पनी के तरफसे 'सायकल' मिली..
वो एक खुबसुरत तोहफा था.. मगर उसे पिछे Carrier नही था..!
कर्मचारीने उसे लगाने की मांग करी..
जब सायकल Carrier फिटींग करके आयी तो उसने देखा की अब सायकल का Stand निकाल दिया गया था..!
उसने गायब हुए Stand के बारे मे पुछा.. तो कम्पनीसे जवाब आया :
प्रायवेटमे नौकरी कर रहे हो तो एक ही चिझ पोसिबल है..
CAREER या STAND
अगर STAND लोगे तो CAREER खतम...
और अगर CAREER बनाना है तो कभी STAND मत लेना..!
सभी Private job वालो को समर्पित...!!
वो एक खुबसुरत तोहफा था.. मगर उसे पिछे Carrier नही था..!
कर्मचारीने उसे लगाने की मांग करी..
जब सायकल Carrier फिटींग करके आयी तो उसने देखा की अब सायकल का Stand निकाल दिया गया था..!
उसने गायब हुए Stand के बारे मे पुछा.. तो कम्पनीसे जवाब आया :
प्रायवेटमे नौकरी कर रहे हो तो एक ही चिझ पोसिबल है..
CAREER या STAND
अगर STAND लोगे तो CAREER खतम...
और अगर CAREER बनाना है तो कभी STAND मत लेना..!
सभी Private job वालो को समर्पित...!!
I respect Kejriwal for fulfilling his promise that
I respect Kejriwal for fulfilling his promise that he will send the ex-Delhi CM to jail...😝😝😝
😝😝"दरअसल केजरीवाल कहते रह गए कि वो खांसी से
😝😝"दरअसल केजरीवाल कहते रह गए कि वो खांसी से
लड़ना चाहते हैं पर उनकी पार्टी
ने ग़लतफहमी,जोश और
जल्दबाज़ी में उन्हें काशी से लड़ा दिया "😝😝
लड़ना चाहते हैं पर उनकी पार्टी
ने ग़लतफहमी,जोश और
जल्दबाज़ी में उन्हें काशी से लड़ा दिया "😝😝
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Urban Dictionary has added a new word: 'Congressed
Urban Dictionary has added a new word: 'Congressed' (verb, adj). It means getting fully, totally, irredeemably screwed.
Eg - I got "Congressed" at Work Today 😜😜
Eg - I got "Congressed" at Work Today 😜😜
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Kya subah se modi..modi laga rakha hai..kya apne b
Kya subah se modi..modi laga rakha hai..kya apne bhartiya sanskar bhul gaye....
Kisi ne bhi N D Tiwari ko phone karke puchha..chacha suhag rat kaisi rahi..😜😜
Kisi ne bhi N D Tiwari ko phone karke puchha..chacha suhag rat kaisi rahi..😜😜
हद तो तब हो गयी जब आज सुबह ओबामा ने बिस्तर में
हद तो तब हो गयी जब आज सुबह ओबामा ने बिस्तर में
उठते हुए मिशेल का माथा चूमकर कहा - केम छो !!😜😜
Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki bacche ko
chai ki dukan pe bhejke modi banana hai YA
IIT me bhejke kejriwal.
उठते हुए मिशेल का माथा चूमकर कहा - केम छो !!😜😜
Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki bacche ko
chai ki dukan pe bhejke modi banana hai YA
IIT me bhejke kejriwal.
In assembly elections
In assembly elections
मोदी - चल मजे लेते है ।
अमित शाह - कैसे ?
मोदी - मायावती को फोन लगा पूछ समर्थन देगी या नही। 😂😂😂😂
मोदी - चल मजे लेते है ।
अमित शाह - कैसे ?
मोदी - मायावती को फोन लगा पूछ समर्थन देगी या नही। 😂😂😂😂
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Bjp Historical Win, This is going to be the start of a
Historical Win, This is going to be the start of all new Dream India.
and Narendra Modi is the reason
Delhi 7/7
Gujarat 26/26
Rajasthan 25/25
Uttrakhand 5/5
Himachal 4/4
Goa 2/2
Chattisgarh 10/11
Jharkhand 12/14
UP 72/80
Madhya Pradesh 27/29
Maharastra 43/48
Haryana 7/10
Bihar 29/40
Karnataka 18/28
Assam 7/14
Total NDA 330 with BJP alone 280
INDIA has won today! Jai Hind Jai Bharat
and Narendra Modi is the reason
Delhi 7/7
Gujarat 26/26
Rajasthan 25/25
Uttrakhand 5/5
Himachal 4/4
Goa 2/2
Chattisgarh 10/11
Jharkhand 12/14
UP 72/80
Madhya Pradesh 27/29
Maharastra 43/48
Haryana 7/10
Bihar 29/40
Karnataka 18/28
Assam 7/14
Total NDA 330 with BJP alone 280
INDIA has won today! Jai Hind Jai Bharat
Breaking News: Rahul Gandh has started early prepa
Breaking News: Rahul Gandh has started early preparation for 2019 polls..
Slogan is ready "Leher ke baad Boonda-Baandi, Abki baar Rahul Gandhi.."
😂😂😂😂😂
Slogan is ready "Leher ke baad Boonda-Baandi, Abki baar Rahul Gandhi.."
😂😂😂😂😂
16 मई 2014 को दोपहर
16 मई 2014 को दोपहर
दिल्ली रेल्वे स्टेशन से पाकिस्तान के लिये
स्पेशल ट्रेन रवाना होगी शाहरूख खान, लालू
यादव, सैम पित्रोदा सहीत जिन भी महानूभावो ने
मोदी के P.M. बनने पर देश छोडने
की घोषणा की थी वह सभी समय पर स्टेशन
पहूच जाये
1) 5साल से बडे बच्चो का पूरा टिकीट
लगेगा (राहूल गाँधी का भी)
2) जेब कतरो से सावधान (ट्रेन मे चिद्मबरम
भी होगे)
3) नवविवाहित जोडो के लिये S-1 मे सीट
रहेगी (दिग्गी )
दिल्ली रेल्वे स्टेशन से पाकिस्तान के लिये
स्पेशल ट्रेन रवाना होगी शाहरूख खान, लालू
यादव, सैम पित्रोदा सहीत जिन भी महानूभावो ने
मोदी के P.M. बनने पर देश छोडने
की घोषणा की थी वह सभी समय पर स्टेशन
पहूच जाये
1) 5साल से बडे बच्चो का पूरा टिकीट
लगेगा (राहूल गाँधी का भी)
2) जेब कतरो से सावधान (ट्रेन मे चिद्मबरम
भी होगे)
3) नवविवाहित जोडो के लिये S-1 मे सीट
रहेगी (दिग्गी )
पाकिस्तान में आज सुबह से दस्त रोकने की दवाई की बि
पाकिस्तान में आज सुबह से दस्त रोकने की दवाई की बिक्री में अप्रत्याशित इजाफा देखने को मिला है।
हाफिज सईद हैजे की चपेट में,
दाऊद पर तो ORS का घोल भी असर नहीं कर रहा है
हाफिज सईद हैजे की चपेट में,
दाऊद पर तो ORS का घोल भी असर नहीं कर रहा है
......*Braking news*...... Varanshi se
......*Braking news*...... Varanshi se kejriwal aage chal rahe hai..............................................................ghar jane ke liye.😜😜😜😜
👉शाहरुख खान का बयान याद है ना👈
😐अगर मोदी प्रधानमंत्री बन गया तो में हिंदूस्तान छोड़ दुंगा॥😡
😡बस कुछ हि घंटे बाकी है॥😡
इसे फेला दो आग की तरहा
की मिडिया वाले उस से पुछ
ही क्या हुवा भाई जा ना
👉शाहरुख खान का बयान याद है ना👈
😐अगर मोदी प्रधानमंत्री बन गया तो में हिंदूस्तान छोड़ दुंगा॥😡
😡बस कुछ हि घंटे बाकी है॥😡
इसे फेला दो आग की तरहा
की मिडिया वाले उस से पुछ
ही क्या हुवा भाई जा ना
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Political humor: Special and Very Important Message from Priyanka V
Special and Very Important Message from Priyanka Vadra....please forward to all as it will be huge help for her..... "Rahul Jahan bhi ho Ghar aa jao, maa paresan hai.
Koi kuchh nahi kahega, sari jimmedari Manmohan uncle ne li hai".......priyanka
😝😛😄😃😘😉😂😭
Koi kuchh nahi kahega, sari jimmedari Manmohan uncle ne li hai".......priyanka
😝😛😄😃😘😉😂😭
Political humor: लड़का फ़ोन पे : डार्लिंग कब मिलोगी ?
लड़का फ़ोन पे : डार्लिंग कब मिलोगी ?
लड़की : 16 मई को मिलेंगे !
लड़का : कहाँ ?
लड़की : किसी सुनसान जगह पे, जहां और कोई न
हो !
लड़का : ठीक है गाजियाबाद में आप पार्टी के
कौशाम्बी वाले कार्यालय में मिलते है !
लड़की : नहीं जानू , दिल्ली में कांग्रेस का हेड
ऑफिस सही रहेगा !!
लड़की : 16 मई को मिलेंगे !
लड़का : कहाँ ?
लड़की : किसी सुनसान जगह पे, जहां और कोई न
हो !
लड़का : ठीक है गाजियाबाद में आप पार्टी के
कौशाम्बी वाले कार्यालय में मिलते है !
लड़की : नहीं जानू , दिल्ली में कांग्रेस का हेड
ऑफिस सही रहेगा !!
Monday, May 12, 2014
Naughty sms:A kid to a pregnant girl at a bus stop, "What are
A kid to a pregnant girl at a bus stop, "What are you expecting?
Girl says, "A bus"
Kid turns to his mate and says, "Wow! This bitch got screwed by Transformers"!😂😂
Girl says, "A bus"
Kid turns to his mate and says, "Wow! This bitch got screwed by Transformers"!😂😂
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Exit poll:Breaking News :
Breaking News :
Congress -340 seats
Congress allies - 90 seats
AAP - 40 seats
Independents -10 seats
Third front and others - 60 seats
BJP/NDA - 3 seats
(Sushma, Advani and M.M. Joshi).
These are the seats reserved for Digvijay Singh's wedding 😜😜😄😄
Congress -340 seats
Congress allies - 90 seats
AAP - 40 seats
Independents -10 seats
Third front and others - 60 seats
BJP/NDA - 3 seats
(Sushma, Advani and M.M. Joshi).
These are the seats reserved for Digvijay Singh's wedding 😜😜😄😄
Thursday, May 8, 2014
One friday, a boy with a super hot girl entered a
One friday, a boy with a super hot girl entered a jewellery shop & choose a ring worth 8 lacs for her.
The girl obviously felt awesome.
Boy gave a cheque & said he will collect the Ring on Monday after the cheque clears.
On Monday the jeweller calls the boy:
"There's no money in your a/c. The cheque
bounced!"
Boy: "I know. But you can't imagine what a weekend I had...😜😂
The girl obviously felt awesome.
Boy gave a cheque & said he will collect the Ring on Monday after the cheque clears.
On Monday the jeweller calls the boy:
"There's no money in your a/c. The cheque
bounced!"
Boy: "I know. But you can't imagine what a weekend I had...😜😂
समय ⏰बदलता है तो किसी का सगा नहीं होता।
समय ⏰बदलता है तो किसी का सगा नहीं होता।
.
.
.
जो कपडे कल अंग्रेजो के गवर्नर
पहनकर लोगो को डराते थे।
आज उन्हें हमारे बैंड वाले पहनते है।
.
.
.
जो कपडे कल अंग्रेजो के गवर्नर
पहनकर लोगो को डराते थे।
आज उन्हें हमारे बैंड वाले पहनते है।
Bengali women ....
👏👏👏
Bengali women ....
How nicely they introduce their husbands
"Yeh homaara POTY hai"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bengali women ....
How nicely they introduce their husbands
"Yeh homaara POTY hai"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
OneDay..Yamraja came to a Guy and said:
OneDay..Yamraja came to a Guy and said:
"Hey, today is your last day!"
Guy: "But i'm not ready!".
Yamraja said: "Well today your name is the first on my list...".
Guy:"Okay,then why don't you take a seat and We will drink a COFFEE before we go?"
Yamraja:"All right.. ".
The Guy gave Yamraja some COFFEE with sleeping pills in it.
Yamraja finished COFFEE and fell into a deep sleep!!!
The Guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put at the bottom of the list!
When Yamraja woke up he said to the Guy:"Because you have been so nice to me, now I will start my job from the BOTTOM of the list.." !!! Moral:
Whatever is written in your Destiny ...
Will never change... no matter how much u try....
So, in Bhagwad geet- Shri Krishna Says:
"Tu karta woh hai
Jo tu chahata hai,
Par hota woh hai
jo mai chahata hu !
Tu kar woh jo mai Chahata hu ....
Fir hoga woh jo tu chahta hai....Jsk
..^..
,(-_-),
'\'''''.\'='-.
\/..\\,'
//"")
(\ /n
\ |,
,,; ',
It's such meaningful so.....do read and forward it ........👍
"Hey, today is your last day!"
Guy: "But i'm not ready!".
Yamraja said: "Well today your name is the first on my list...".
Guy:"Okay,then why don't you take a seat and We will drink a COFFEE before we go?"
Yamraja:"All right.. ".
The Guy gave Yamraja some COFFEE with sleeping pills in it.
Yamraja finished COFFEE and fell into a deep sleep!!!
The Guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put at the bottom of the list!
When Yamraja woke up he said to the Guy:"Because you have been so nice to me, now I will start my job from the BOTTOM of the list.." !!! Moral:
Whatever is written in your Destiny ...
Will never change... no matter how much u try....
So, in Bhagwad geet- Shri Krishna Says:
"Tu karta woh hai
Jo tu chahata hai,
Par hota woh hai
jo mai chahata hu !
Tu kar woh jo mai Chahata hu ....
Fir hoga woh jo tu chahta hai....Jsk
..^..
,(-_-),
'\'''''.\'='-.
\/..\\,'
//"")
(\ /n
\ |,
,,; ',
It's such meaningful so.....do read and forward it ........👍
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!😜
Best one
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability
But....
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
😜😜😜😜😜
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!😜
Best one
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability
But....
A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
😜😜😜😜😜
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Once A Keera🐜 saw a piece of Gurr,🍡
Once A Keera🐜 saw a piece of Gurr,🍡
He went to eat it,
ButOn the way he saw a keeri,🐜
He left the Gurr🍬 & went with keeri.
MORAL:*Gurr nalo ishq💞 mitha*;-😃😄😉😊
Another love story
Dog and mosquito were in love mosquito kissed d dog,dog became emotional gave a love bite,mosq died by rabise,dog died by dengu
Moral-intercast love is dangerous😜
He went to eat it,
ButOn the way he saw a keeri,🐜
He left the Gurr🍬 & went with keeri.
MORAL:*Gurr nalo ishq💞 mitha*;-😃😄😉😊
Another love story
Dog and mosquito were in love mosquito kissed d dog,dog became emotional gave a love bite,mosq died by rabise,dog died by dengu
Moral-intercast love is dangerous😜
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