Seedhi Baat: Dr. Kumar Vishwas

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Knock knock..who is this?

👵:-knock knock, Movers n Packers?
👨:- Who is this?
👵:- Sheila Dixit..😜😜😜😜

Husband wife sms: arz liya hai...

Arz kiya hai...

Beiezzati aur Biwi ajeeb cheez hoti hai...

Gaur farmaiyega...

Beiezati aur Biwi ajeeb cheez hoti hai....

Achchhi tbhi lagti h jb dusre ki
hoti h...
😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

Rajnikanth sms : All new series of Rajnikanth:

Gd mrng
All new series of Rajnikanth:

Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!
---------------------------------
Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass!
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Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!!
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Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!
------------------------------------------------
The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
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Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
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Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
-----------------------------------------------------
Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
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The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
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An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
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Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
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Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
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Rajinikanth is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
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Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But
guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer
----------------------------------
​BAAP OF ALL JOKES.

Little boy: "Rajni uncle, how effective were you as a monitor in school?"


RAJNIKANT: "Once I ordered a boy to keep quiet in class. Today he is the Prime minister of India".

Motivational A group of friends visited their old university professor

Worth reading ☺☺

A group of friends visited their old university professor. Conversation soon turned to complaints about 'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in life.
Professor offered them coffee &
returned from kitchen with coffee in different kinds of cups (glass cups, crystal cups, shining ones, some plain looking, some ordinary n some expensive ones.)

When all of them had a cup in hand, the professor said:
.
"If YOU noticed, all the nice looking & expensive cups are taken up, leaving behind the ordinary ones. Everyone of YOU wanted the best CUPS, & that is the source of YOUR STRESS & TENSION.
What YOU really wanted was "Coffee", not the "Cup",
but YOU still went for the best Cup.
If life is Coffee,
then Jobs, Money, Status & Love. . . .etc are the Cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain life.


Don't let the CUPS drive YOU.
Enjoy the COFFEE.. :)
☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

Pappu n papa: Once a papa beats 👋👋up his son pappu a

Once a papa beats 👋👋up his son pappu and when pappu starts crying 😭he says sorry.

Pappu says - "Take a piece of paper. Crumble it. Fold it. Now open it. Say "sorry" to it. Are the scars on the paper gone?"

papa says- "Take my scooter and try to start. does it start? Nahin naa. Now give it 3-4 kicks. Now does it start? Hua na. Saale tu wahi scooter hai, koi paper nahi. Aage se ye Facebook wale gyaan apne baap ko mat dena"®😊😊☝

Pappu n papa: pappu: papa kal school main ek

Pappu : papa kal school main ek small get together hai..chaloge???
Papa : small get together kya hota hai??
Pappu : only you me and principal...😁

Friendship sms: Nothing beats for today..

Nothing beats for today..


Zindagi na milegi 2/12 ! 😀
Aaj subah NEWSPAPER me padha ki, dosto ko whatsapp bhejne me sabse jyada time waste hota hai..

TO AAJ SE...






"NEWSPAPER" BANDH...!!!
Saala dosto par ungli👆 uthata hai..!! 😉😃😎

Quote on life sms: GREAT THOUGHTS

GREAT THOUGHTS

a. Either you run the day, or the day runs you. – Jim Rohn.

b. We become what we think about. – Earl Nightingale

c. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbour and catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. – Mark Twain.

d. Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. – John Maxwell.

e. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. – Tony Robbins.

f. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb.

g. An unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates.

h. Don't wait. The time will never be just right. – Napoleon Hill.

i. Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is. – Vince Lombardi.

Here is the AAP Manifesto for Delhi 2013 elections

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Happy Diwali

🎉Lmha-Lmha zindagi Gujar Jayegi, 🎃🎊
3 din bad Deepawali Aayegi,🎇🎁🎁🎈🔮
Abhi Se hi Badhai 🙏 Le Lijiye,🎆🎨🎺🎷🍹🎂
Warna phir ye badhai Common ho Jayegi
✨🌟Happy Diwali 💥 🌻🌹🌺🍀🌷🌸🌼💐

Santa banta sms: Santa chemist ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch

Santa chemist ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch

help chahiye

chemist: haan bolo?

aur santa ne Apni davai ki bottle me se ek chamach

chemist ko pila ke pucha:

meetha hai kya?

Chemist: nahi to, kyu kya hai ye.

.

.

.

Santa: bas yahi puchna tha, doctor ne kaha tha ki

chemist ke paas jakar

URINE Test karwa kar pata karo ki URINE me sugar

hai ke nahi..😜😜😜😜😜😜

Funny image : happy diwali

Santa chemist ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch

Santa chemist ke pass gaya aur bola: bhai kuch

help chahiye

chemist: haan bolo?

aur santa ne Apni davai ki bottle me se ek chamach

chemist ko pila ke pucha:

meetha hai kya?

Chemist: nahi to, kyu kya hai ye.

.

.

.

Santa: bas yahi puchna tha, doctor ne kaha tha ki

chemist ke paas jakar

URINE Test karwa kar pata karo ki URINE me sugar

hai ke nahi..😜😜😜😜😜😜

Funny pic: bbm pin humor:

Funny pic: sabhi shadishuda mardon ko

Funny pic: exam result

Reply sms: neeche mat jana

╬═╬ neeche mat jana
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╬═╬ ha ha ha ha ha
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╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬ , kyu mila kuch,,
ab itna neeche aae ho toh jaan lo:-
7 Sachai ✅ Duniya Ki !

1) Apki Aankhe 👀 aapke Jism 🚶Ka Wo Hissa He Jinhe aap Sabun Se nahi dho Sakte ! 🚰

2)Aap apne Baal 🙇 nahi Gin Sakte ! ❎

3)Aapki Zuban 👅 aapke Sare Danto 👄 Ko Nahi Chhu Sakti !

4) Sirf bewkuf log 👳 Point No.3 Try karenge ! 👎

5) Aap Muskura rahe ho 😊 Kyunki Aapki Zuban Aapke Sare Danto Ko Chhu Skti Hai 👍 !!

6) Aap hans rahe ho Kyunki aap Bewkuf Ban Chuke ho 😜 !

7) Aap iss msg ko aage send karoge 📱 Kyunki aap maza lena Chahate ho, 😃😀 Dusro Ko Bewkuf banakar !!!


Chal ek Khattarnaak pj :
Japan main 2 dost they
1 ka naam tha "jo" aur dusrey ka naam tha "wo"
Ek din "jo" ke pas JIN aa gaya
"jo" ne dar kar "wo" ko awaz di
"wo" bhag kar aya to JIN 💀💀💀 ko dekh kar 👀👀 "wo" marr gya 😱😱
;
bus usi din se hi kehte hein…
;
;
;
;
;
"JO" DAR GAYA, "WO" MAR GAYA

Dimaag out ho gaya naa? Maine pehle hi bola tha Neeche mat jaana😝

Long sms: chalo ek itwaar purana manata jaye

चलो एक इतवार पुराना मनाया जाए,
गुज़रे बचपन को फिर से बुलाया जाए।

महाभारत का "समय" और मोगली का "जंगल",
"ये जो है ज़िन्दगी" का वही "खट्टा-मीठा' सफ़र ।

"नीम के पेड़" की छाँव में भागते "विक्रम-बेताल",
'सुरभी" से खिलती सुबह और 'चित्रहार" कमाल।

क्रूर सिंह की "यक्कू" से कांपती 'चन्द्रकान्ता',
"पोटली बाबा की" और "चाणक्य" की दक्षता।

"ज़बान संभाल' के जाना ज़रा "नुक्कड़" पर,
"स्पेस सिटी सिग्मा" की है तुम पर नज़र।

सबकी सीडी-यों को एक-एक कर चलाया जाए
चलो एक इतवार पुराना मनाया जाय।

नंदन, चम्पक, बिल्लू, पिंकी, चंदामामा,
नागराज, पराग और चाचा चौधरी का हंगामा।

कम्पुटर नहीं, कम्पुटर से तेज़ दिमाग को देखा था,
हमने बचपन में साबू से कमाल को देखा था।

जिसे जो कुछ मिले वो सब ले आना,
कुछ पलों के लिए बचपन से क्या शर्माना।

देखते ही सबकी बाछें खिल जायेंगीं,
किताबों की वो अदला बदली याद बड़ी आएगी।

देखना कि कुछ भी छूटने ना पाए।
चलो एक इतवार पुराना मनायाजाय।
चलो एक इतवार पुराना मनाया जाय।

Naughty sms: A naked lady gets into a taxi.

A naked lady gets into a taxi.
.
Driver looks at her top to bottom repeatedly.
.
Lady- Havn't u ever seen a naked women?
.
Driver- No madam, I'm just wondering where have U kept the money 2 pay me!
.
Moral:
Concentrate on ur work no matter what happens..
Be professional !

Naughty sms: absolutely rocking caliber stuff T-shirt quote of a sexy girl.. .

absolutely rocking caliber stuff T-shirt quote of a sexy girl..
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"F_CK or S_CK
it needs "U".." :P

Naughty sms: Managing Director during inspection

Managing Director during inspection to office visit asks a Manager "yes smarty. What do you do?"

Manager (calmly): "Sir, I'm the Sexual Advisor to the VP"

Pin drop silence ensues, photographer stopped taking pictures, all others stopped working and started looking around . The MD looks with glaring eyes at the VP...

VP (cursing the Manager), speaks with the pent up energy "explain your last remark Manager" .

Manager (looking at MD): "Actually sir, whenever I say something, the VP says - WHEN I NEED YOUR 'FUCKING ADVICE', I'LL ASK FOR IT"

Funny pj: there was a couple who had

There was a couple who had thier relationship since 5 years.

They loved eacvh other a lot. The girl was beautiful and the boy was faithful.

One day, the girl came to the boy and showed her new pink eye lenses.

Withing a moment the boy fainted and fell on the floor.

The girl rushed him to the hospital. Special team of doctors started operating the boy. After waiting for 37 hours, the girl met the doctor. The doctor said,

"We have found alcohol in your friend's heart."

The girl got shocked and said, "But he never ever had a drink in his life, how can this be possible?"

Doctor, "Even we are going to research on it. You go to your home now, you can visit him tomorrow."

The girl hired a taxi and started thinking about the incident. Then suddenly she heard the song playing in the taxi:

Gulabi aanken jo teri dekhi,
Sharabi yeh dil ho gaya.

Kya hai na whatsapp free hai, toh logo ko kuch bhi bhejo bohot interest se padhte hai 😄
Send it to your friends and unko bhi pareshan karo
enjoyyyyy😄😄😄

Husband wife sms: Divided by ego, United by gossips!

"Divided by ego,
United by gossips!"
-Women

"Divided by women,
United by Liquor!"
- Men
Cheers 🍷

Gujju joke: Hansa: praful tournament matlab??

✅ Hansa: praful
tournament matlab??

Praful: tournament hansaaaa yeh jo tumne kaanme jhumke pehne hai use tournament kehte hai...

Bapuji: abey praful gadhe use ornaments kehte hai.👺

Praful: bapuji ohh bapuji ek kaan me pehno to ornaments or dono kaan me pehno to two ornaments matlab tournament....😏

Hansa: haay haay bapuji ko to kuch bhi nahi aata...😝👍😀🔫⚡😜😄🙏 😝😉☺😊.

Gujju joke: hansa : prafool

Hansa: Prafoool, ye Senior or Junior ka kya matlab?
Praful: Hansaaaaaa samundra k najdik rehte hai wo (sea+near)
= Senior
&
Jo Zoo k najdik rehte hai wo (Zoo+near) = Junior 😊😷😳😎
Hansa n Praful r back!!

Bollywood humor: It can happen only in Indian Movies

This one is awesome..
It can happen only in Indian Movies

Baghban:Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September!

u all may know that.............

Now for cricket fans..........to enhance their movie cricket rules........

Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.

Amar Akbar Anthony :Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.

It can happen because that scene was very emotional...........???????

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha:Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

No comment ...............Indian movies???????

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America ?????? Well,! well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways.................

International Khiladi + Domestic Flight = International Flight + Khiladiyon ka khiladi

ra one : when sharukh khan dies, being a south indian he was given a christian funeral but later we see kareena kapoor uske asthiyo ko paani me baha deti hai, this was a big mistake no one noticed..

In Krish , Priety got pregnant when Hrithik was not with her in 2 years.

dhoom 2. . abhishek bachan jumps off the cliff. . straight on the shoulders of hrithik on a parachute .""

N last one is an epic "Sholay" where (now) jaya bachchan lights a lantern in the beginning as there is no electricity in the village..andDharmendra is on a water tank to commit suicide.

Paani ki tanki me bina electriicity ke paani upar kya Thakur chadhata tha?????? 👌😂😂😂😝😝

Flirty sms: Dear Love Guru

Dear Love Guru,

There is this girl I love so much but I still don't know why she won't talk to me anymore. It started like this:

She posted on Facebook: "All men are dogs!"

I commented: "Which breed is your father?"

That's how the problem started. Please did I ask the wrong question?

Sincerely confused.

Motivational sms: A psychology professor

A psychology professor asked his students just one question for their final exams:

How are you going to make me believe that the chair in front of you is invisible?

It took all students an hour to finish the answer, excpt a lazy student who took only 5 seconds.

Eventually, the lazy student got the highest score. His answer was:

"WHICH CHAIR???"

life is simple. Keep it simple...😊

Funny sms: Joke of the month

😸
Joke of the month😝😝

Sir - kaunsa panchhi sabse tez udta hai?
Boy - sir ... haathi
Sir - nalayak! Tera baap kya karta hai?
Boy - chhota rajan ke gang mey shooter hai.
Sir - shabash! !! Bachho likho Haathi..

Sahi jawab..👌😂

Flirty sms: Ladka apne dost se: tune us ladki ko propose kyu kiya uska

Ladka apne dost se:
tune us ladki ko propose kyu kiya uska
to b.f. Hai......??????
.
Zakkas reply:.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...
.
.
.
.
.
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Khali Kursi Pe to koi Bhi Beth saktaHai,
Dum hai to kisi ko Utha ke Betho..=))

Motivational sms: Ek Bacha Ice-Cream Shop Pe Gaya

Ek Bacha Ice-Cream Shop Pe Gaya or
Pucha K
Bada Cup Kitny Ka Hai?
Waiter Ne jawab Diya Rs. 15 ka.
... Bachay Ne Apne Paisy Ginay
Or Pucha:
Chota Cup Kitny Ka Hai?
Waiter: Rs. 12 ka.
Bachy Ne Chota Cup Kharida
Or 12 Rupy De Kr
Chala Gaya.
Jab Waiter Uski Table Se
Khali Cup Uthany Aaya To
Ye Dekh Kar
Uski Ankhen Num Hogai K Bachy Ne 3
Rupy Tip Us Waiter K Liye Chor Diye
The.
LESSON: Apni Choti Khushi bhool Kr
K Aap
Dusron Ko Badi Khushi De Sakte
Hain.
I Think it's a Nice Msg
SHARE if you Like it too 😄👍

Funny sms: Kyun chalti hai pawan, Because of evaporation

Kyun chalti hai pawan,
Because of evaporation .

Kyun jhoome hai gagan,
Because of earth's rotation.

Kyun machalta hai mann,
Because of disorder in digestion.

Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
I just explained

Kyun gum hai har disha,
Because u have poor sense of direction.

Kyun hota hai nasha,
Because of drug addiction.

Kyun aata hai mazaa,
Because u enjoy the situation.

Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
As u can see i just explained

Kyun aati hai bahar,
Because of change in season.

Kyun khota hai karar,
Because of taking tension.

Kyun hota hai pyaar,
Because of opposite attraction.

Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
Memory loss?😛😂

Jaldi fwd karo market may naya hai.....😝

Happy eid :Eid mubarak!

Quote on life sms: Beautiful message! 💬 Stay away from Anger..

Beautiful message!
💬 Stay away from Anger..
It hurts ..Only You!

💬 If you are right then there is no need to get angry,

💬 And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

💬 Patience with family is love,

💬 Patience with others is respect.

💬 Patience with self is confidence and Patience with GOD is faith.

💬 Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears...

💬 Don't think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear...

💬 Live this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheer.

💬Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

💬 Every problem comes to make us or break us,

💬 The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

💬 Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful

💬 Do you know why God created gaps between fingers?

💬 So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.

💬 Happiness keeps You Sweet..But being sweet brings happiness.
😊
Do Share it with all the beautiful People In ur Life💛

Meaningful quote:Ek Woh Waqt Tha Jab Hum Sochtey The Ki

Ek Woh Waqt Tha Jab Hum Sochtey The Ki,
Humara Bhi Waqt Ayega,

Aur.

Ek Ye Waqt Hai

Ki

Hum Sochte Hain Ki Woh Bhi Kya Waqt Tha.

Husband wife sms: Scholars now have finally concluded that Raavan was not evil...

Scholars now have finally concluded that Raavan was not evil...

Someone who takes your wife away can only be an Angel sent by God!!" 😄😉😁 Happy Dussehra

Happy dussehra!!

Sharabi sms: Laut ayi khushiyan.

Laut ayi khushiyan..
Laut ayi baharen..
Ho gye navratre khatam..
Jago sharabi sare..
😝😝😝😝😝

Lovely sms: जो चाहा कभी पाया नहीं, जो पाया कभी सोचा

जो चाहा कभी पाया नहीं, जो पाया कभी सोचा नहीं, जो सोचा कभी मिला नहीं, जो मिला रास आया नहीं,जो खोया वो याद आता है पर जो पाया संभाला जाता नहीं , क्यों अजीब सी पहेली है ज़िन्दगी जिसको कोई सुलझा पाता नहीं.
जीवन में कभी समझौता करना पड़े तो कोई बड़ी बात नहीं है, क्योंकि, झुकता वही है जिसमें जान होती है, अकड़ तो मुरदे की पहचान होती है।
ज़िन्दगी जीने के दो तरीके होते है! पहला: जो पसंद है उसे हासिल करना सीख लो! दूसरा: जो हासिल है उसे पसंद करना सीख लो!
जिंदगी जीना आसान नहीं होता; बिना संघर्ष कोई महान नहीं होता; जब तक न पड़े हथोड़े की चोट; पत्थर भी भगवान नहीं होता।
जिंदगी बहुत कुछ सिखाती है; कभी हंसती है तो कभी रुलाती है; पर जो हर हाल में खुश रहते हैं; जिंदगी उनके आगे सर झुकाती है।
चेहरे की हंसी से हर गम चुराओ...बहुत कुछ बोलो पर कुछ ना छुपाओ; खुद ना रूठो कभी पर सबको मनाओ; राज़ है ये जिंदगी का बस जीते चले जाओ।...........
GooD Luck 😀😀😀

Happy Dussehra

RAWAN ke 10 Sar👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹


20 Aakhein👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀


par Nazar Ek hi ladki par👰


Aapka Sar 1👦



Aankhein 2👀


par Nazar har ladki par👰🙎👧👸



Ab batao ki.? Asli Rawan kaun.?
👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹



Wish u Happy Dussehra............in advance.....

quotes on Sachin Tendulkar . . .!!!

9 famous quotes on Sachin Tendulkar . . .!!!

👍 i want my son to became Sachin Tendulkar - brian lara🏈

👍 We did not lose to a team called India, we lost to a man called Sachin
- mark taylor🏀

👍 nothin bad can happen to us if we were on a plane in India with Sachin on it.
- hashim amla⚽

👍 he can play that leg glance with a walking stick also,
- waqar younis🎾

👍 there are 2 kind of batsman in the world,
1 Sachin tendulkar
2 all the others.
-andy flower⚾

👍i have seen god. He bats at no.4 for India in tests.
- matthew hayden🎱

👍 i see myself when i see Sachin batting.
-don bradman🎳

👍do your crime when Sachin is batting, bcos even god is busy watcing his batting.
- Australian fan🏉

👍best one from
Barack Obama- i don't know about cricket but still i watch cricket to see Sachin play. . Not bcoz i love his play its bcoz I want to know the reason why my country production goes down by 5 percent when he's batting. . . 🏆


True Sachinists SHARE this. . .

Quote on life : Love vs peace:)

 

“I Love you …of course I do...But I love peace more than you :P”

Naughty sms: Boy : Hello📞, Pammi darling💋.

Boy : Hello📞, Pammi darling💋... kaisi ho ? ..............................Girl : Who's this 😳?.......................Boy : Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!..................Girl : Tu Bunty hai na...Boy : Yes; but how do you know ?Girl : Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na......Boy : Yes but how you know me ??Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na.....Boy : Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata....😱?
Girl : Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun 😡!!..Tune 'Pammi' ko nahi, 'Mammi' ko phone lagaya hai!!😡😡

Funny sms: A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her
pet on the table, the vet Pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry,
your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few
minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked
on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked
up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few
minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back On its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and Strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, But as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, A dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys And produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"


She cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"


The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my Word for it, the
bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's
now $150."

Political humor: Waah kya Logic hai

Waah kya Logic hai:
.
.
Ram ne Ravan ko maara
(R X R)
Krishna ne Kansa ko;
(K X K)
Godse ne Gandhi ko;
(G X G)
Obama ne Osama ko;
(O X O)

Corruption maarega Congress ko (C X C)

Ab Modi marega Manmohan ko...! (MXM)

forward karo har kisi ko jise aap jante ho


☁⛅☁

Chal chaiya chaiya
💭 💃 🏃
🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋🚋🚋💨

Naughty sms: Sardar ki Biwi came naked in th

Sardar ki Biwi came naked in the drawing room to
serve Halwa to the guests.
Sardar screamed: Beshram Aurat, tu hosh me to
hai?
Wife: Woh jee Recipe book me aisa hi likha tha
na...
"Serve Hot without any dressing. Guests will enjoy."

Reply sms: IQ and ENGLISH PRONOUNCIATION TEST:

IQ and ENGLISH PRONOUNCIATION TEST:
7-Questions, 7 Marks Passing marks 5
Q1. Which alphabet is a question?
Q2. Which alphabet is an insect?
Q3. Which alphabet is a part of our body?
Q4. Which alphabet is a tool?
Q5. Which alphabet is a drink?
Q6. Which alphabet is a source of salt?
Q7. Which alphabet is a vegetable?
Come back with ur answers ...

Long sms: 🐢Tortoise and a Rabbit🐰 wrote an entrance

🐢Tortoise and a Rabbit🐰 wrote an entrance exam,📝 🐢Tortoise got 80%, 🐰Rabbit got 81%.

Both went 4 🏦admission to an engineering college,

Cut off needed was 85%.😱😨

😾Rabbit didn't get admission ,but the tortoise got admission.🙀

How?🙊

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

😦U remember when we were in the 😥1st std the tortoise won a race.

😂Sports quota 5% marks extra :-😜😃😈



tortois rocks😎.....
U r shocked😌..

Jaldi send karo naya naya aaya hai...😉 😜

Husband wife sms: Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!

Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
&
haven't spoken a word..!!!
Man inside: I'm talking to my wife.


😜👍😜

Punjabi rulz: Jatt:-No if no but sirf Jatt

Jatt:-No if no but sirf Jatt
Baniya:-Na pudina na dhaniya sirf Baniya
Jain:-Na cycle na chain sirf Jain
Bihari:-Na susti na hoshiyari sirf Bihari
Hindu:-Na point na bindu sirf Hindu
Brahman:-Na aam na jaaman sirf brahman
Isai:-Na dudh na malai sirf Isai
Mulla:-Na Gas Na chulla Sirf Mulla
Angrej:-Na paisa na dahej sirf Angrej
Punjabi:-Na masala na gheo Punjabi sareyaan da "PEO". 😄😝😉

Quote on life sms: A Lovely Logic for a beautiful Life

🔴 A Lovely Logic for a beautiful Life
Never try to maintain relations in your life Just try to maintain life in your relations

🔴 Death asked Life :
Why does everyone love you and hate me.
Life replied :
Because I am a beautiful Lie and you are painful Truth

🔴 We are very good Lawyers for our mistakes; and very good Judges for others` mistakes

🔴 A fantastic sentence written on every Japanese bus stop.
Only buses will stop here – Not your time So Keep walking towards your goal

🔴 Negative Thinkers focus on Problems
Positive thinkers focus on Solutions

🔴 Never hold your head high with pride or ego.
Even the winner of a gold medal gets his/her medal only when he bows his head down

🔴 Define TODAY
This is an Opportunity to Do A work better than Yesterday

🔴 African Saying:
If you want to walk quick, walk alone
If you want to walk far, walk together

🔴 Confident Quote:
I have not failed.
My success is just postponed!

Husband wife sms: funny pic

Husband wife sms: Husband's sms to wife:

Husband's sms to wife:
"Thanks for making my life wonderful & being a part of my life. You're great"
.
.
.
Wife replied: "Laga liya chautha peg?".

humor on idea ad: Breaking News: Ek Bacche Ne Idea

Breaking News: Ek Bacche Ne Idea Cellular Ki Advertisement Dekh Kar Apne Parents Ka Mobile Inter-change Kar Diya. Next Week They Got Divorced... ;). Now New Punch Line :- Idea Can Not Only Change Your Life It Also Help You To Change Your Wife

Husband wife sms: Wife-Aap Bahut Mote Ho Gaye H

Wife-Aap Bahut Mote Ho Gaye Ho.

Santa-Tum Bhi To Kitni Moti Ho Gai Ho.

Wife-Mein To Maa Banne Wali Hu.

Santa-Mein Bhi To Baap Banne Wala Hu!
😄😜😂keep smiling.
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What is similarity between the Indian Govt. And Pakistan Govt.....?

Answer-
Both don't care for INDIANS...!!! 😜😜😂
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Husband was throwing knives on wife's photo.

All were missing the target!

Suddenly he received a call from her "hi, what r u doing?"

His honest reply,

"MISSING u!" 😜😜😂
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India is running on trial and error........

Error was congress and now trial will be BJP 😝😜😂
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Its damn funny when a wife thinks she is punishing her husband by not talking to him for days. 😉🙊😃
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Businessman faces 2 type of Taxes:

At Office- LBT(Local Body Tax).

At Home- LBT(Local Baydi Traas)
😜😜😂😂😂
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SINDHI bhai opened Sweets shop & gave an advertisement...!

Helper required..


Qualification:- Must have diabetes! 😜😜😂😂✋✋✋
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Husband wife sms: Husband forgot to wish her on his Wife's birthday.

Very Touchy story:

"Husband forgot to wish her on his Wife's birthday. He came home late at night from the office .....

His wife shouted: How would u feel if u dont see me for next few days?

He couldnt believe his luck. He replied at once.'' Wowww.....That would be great..!''

Monday passed & he didn't see her.

Tuesday & wednesday passed too.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
On Thursday the swelling was better & he could see her from the corner of his left eye... 😂😂😂

Fuuny Whole life in one song :

Haha
Whole life in one song :

1 to 15 year :
Neno mein sapana

15 to 25 year :
Sapano main sajani

25 to 35 year :
Sajani pe dil aa gaya

35 to 45 year :
Kyu sajani pe dil aa gaya???

After 45 year :
Ta thaiya ta thaiya ho..!!😂😂😂😂

Punjabi love letter:Love Letter from punjaban to husband...

Love Letter from punjaban to
husband...📨

O mere dil de chain,
tere piche kutte pain,🐺
Tu luteya mere dil da chain,💝
rabb kare tenu keede pain,
Tere nain bade nashile,👀
jive jhadu de tille,
Tu mere dil vich eddan vasea,
jive chikad vich kutta fasea,🐶
jane jigar jane tamana,
edhar aa terian lattan
bhanna.......
♥ I LOVE U ♥

Reply sms: guess the 10 songs given bellow:

💞 guess the 10 songs given bellow:

1⃣.😃😀✂🚗
2⃣.🌵❌✂☀🌙
3⃣.☀🌅🌙🔥
4⃣.👆🏨👍👉🚫
5⃣.👑👸❤1⃣👀1⃣💘
6⃣.🚶🚶🚶🐘
7⃣.👵👵⤴💃🎵g
8⃣.📕📖📗📖📘👀👉
9⃣.👞🇯🇵👖🇬🇧
🔟.🔫🙇🙇📢
Hint- 1st song - haste haste kat jaye raste

Informative sms: SOMETHING YOU MIGHT HAVE NOT KNOWN And NEED

😴😀 SOMETHING YOU
MIGHT HAVE NOT
KNOWN And NEED
TO KNOW !!

🐜 Ants Problem:
Ants hate Cucumbers.
"KEEP the skin of
Cucumbers near the
Place where they are
or at Ant Hole.

🗻 To Get Pure & Clean
Ice :
"Boil Water first
before placing in the
Freezer"

🎆 To make the Mirror
Shine:
"Clean with Sprite"

💨 To remove Chewing
Gum from Clothes:
"Keep the Cloth in
the Freezer for One
Hour"

💭 To Whiten White
Clothes:
"Soak White Clothes
in hot water with a
Slice of Lemon for 10
Minutes"

🙇 To give a Shine to
your Hair:
"Add one Teaspoon
of Vinegar to Hair,
then wash Hair"

🍋 To get maximum
Juice out of Lemons:
"Soak Lemons in Hot
Water for One Hour,
and then juice them"

🍞 To avoid smell of
Cabbage while
cooking:
"Keep a piece of
Bread on the
Cabbage in the
Vessel while cooking"

😂 To avoid Tears while
cutting Onions 🍑:
"Chew Gum"

🍲 To boil Potatoes
quickly:
"Skin one Potato
from one side only
before boiling"

👕 To remove Ink from
Clothes:
"Put Toothpaste 🍥
on the Ink Spots
generously and let it
dry completely, then
wash"

🍠 To skin Sweet
Potatoes quickly :
"Soak in Cold Water
immediately after
boiling"

🐀 To get rid of Mice or
Rats:
"Sprinkle Black
Pepper in places
where you find Mice &
Rats. They will run
away"

🍸 Take Water Before
Bedtime..
"About 90% of Heart
Attacks occur Early in
the Morning & it can
be reduced if one
takes a Glass or two
of Water before going
to bed at Night"

💐 We Know Water is
important but never
knew about the
Special Times one
has to drink it.. !!

Did you ???

💦 Drinking Water at the
Right Time ⏰
Maximizes its
effectiveness on the
Human Body;

1⃣ 1 Glass of Water
after waking up -
🕕⛅ helps to
activate internal
organs..

2⃣ 1 Glass of Water
30 Minutes 🕧
before a Meal -
helps digestion..

3⃣ 1 Glass of Water
before taking a
Bath 🚿 - helps
lower your blood
pressure.

4⃣ 1 Glass of Water
before going to
Bed - 🕙 avoids
Stroke or Heart
Attack.

🃏 Chinese Proverb Says:
'When someone
shares something of
value with you and
you benefit from it,
You have a moral
obligation to share it
with others too.'

So..., DO your's !
I have done mine 😄

Funny sms: These are actual profiles from shaadi.com,

U HAVE TO READ THIS LOL....
These are actual profiles from
shaadi.com, hilarious they are....
Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail.. 😂😂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework.
(Can smbdy plz explain What
Homework???) 😳
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want a boy with no drinks. If he
wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast.
(by not wearing his jeans? What the
hell...! ) 😛
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.
I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.
THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY THEY ARE,
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(I am loughing {laughing}) 😂😂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom,
and he must think of the future life if
he is too like this he would be called the man of the lamp.
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants A
LAMP ? ?) 😁
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
I love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok?
(the 'Ok-syndrome' K K) 😝
~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
I am pranati my family histoy my two
brother two sister and father & Mother.
sister completely married
(somebody please explain how to get married 'completely'?) 😄😄
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My name is farhanbegum, and i am
unmarried.
pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(Heights of desperation! ) 😰
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am kanandevi. i do own businas. one sistar. he was marred.
("1 sistar…he was marred". I'm dead…) 😵😲
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Kamala my colour is black, but
my heart is white. i like social service.
(Is she a Zebra..???) 😂