Gujju sms: Einstein & a gujarati sitting next to

Einstein & a gujarati sitting next to each other on a long flight..
Einstein says,"Let's play a game.. I will ask you a question,if you don't know the answer,you pay me only $5 and if I don't know the answer,I will pay you $500.."

Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon..?

Gujarati doesn't say a word,reaches his pocket,pulls out a $5..

Now,it's the gujaratis turn..

He asks Einstein: What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs..?

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends.. After an hour he gives gujarati $500..

Einstein going nuts and asks: Well,so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four..?

Gujarati reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $5.. 😄😄😄 .

Einstein fainted.....😝

Moral of the story, you might be Einstein, don't take panga with gujarati,where money is concerned..... they are smarter than even Einstein...:😂💶💸😎😏

Motivational sms : Nice line by "Shri Krishna"

Nice line by "Shri Krishna"

"Kisi" ko dukh de kar mujhse apne sukh ki echha mat karna❗

Lekin tum "kisi "1 ko bhi khushi dete ho To apne dukh ki chinta mat karna❗

Informative sms: Punishment for Rape:

Punishment for Rape:

1) UAE- Instant Death
Penalty, within 7 days
hanging
2) Iran- Instant Stoned
to death/hanging within 24 hrs
3) Afghanistan -
Instant death by bullet into head within 4 days
4) China - No Trial,
Medically proved rape then Death Penalty
5) Malaysia - Death
Penalty
6) Mangolia - Death as revenge by family
7) Iraq - Death by stone till last breath
8) Taliban - Limbs/
Legs/ Balls All Cut
Off,&then stoned&then
shot
9) Poland - Death
thrown to Pigs
10) INDIA -
Compromise, Thinking,
Trial, Bribe,
Rich family Kid,
Abuse & Embarrassment
NO ACTION...
Even d girl dies still no charge sheet
filed...
country gets in to protest, still the PM
speaks in english dat to bullshit...

look at all these
countries and learn
something now atleast in case of rape against child n rape wid brutality...

isko itna share karo ke pura India isko padhe...
This incident took place in Pune at 7:10 pm.
A boy & a girl were stopped by the police on d road without Driving License.
The boy was told 2 bring d license & d girl was asked 2cum 2 d police station.
d girl was taken 2 an isolated place where she was raped.
Most of us don't know d LAW which clearly states that-
btwn 6 pm-6 am,
a woman has RIGHT 2 refuse 2 go 2 the police station EVEN IF THERE IS AN ARREST WARRANT.
So its a humble request 2Plz 4ward dis 2 all d girls u know 2 make them aware, even 2 boys who care 4 their sister, friends."I've DONE MY BEST NOW ITS UR TURN"
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
👍 Spread this than other jokes & all
Plzzz Share Max
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Funny sms: An employee goes running to HR and ask his resignation back.

An employee goes running to HR and ask his resignation back.
HR(surprised): Today is your last day and what happened suddenly?
Employee: My boss is also coming to same place where I am going..
😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

Motivational sms : Sabar" ek aisi Sawari hain Jo apne Sawaar ko

''Sabar" ek aisi Sawari hain Jo apne Sawaar ko
kabhi Girne nahi deti...,

Na kisi ke Qadmon mein aur Na kisi ki Nazron
se......

Motivational sms : The Suitcase

The Suitcase

A man died, when he realized it, he saw God coming closer with a suitcase in his hand.
- God said: Alright son its time to go.
- surprised the man responded: Now? So soon? I had a lot of plans...
- I'm sorry but its time to go.

- What do you have in that suitcase? the man asked.
- God answered: Your belongings.
- My belongings? you mean my things, my clothes, my money?
-God answered: Those things were not yours they belonged to the earth.

- Is it my memories? the man asked.
-God answered: those never belonged to you they belonged to Time

- Is it my talents?
-God answered: those were never yours they belonged to the circumstances.

- Is it my friends and family?
-God answered: I'm sorry they were never yours they belonged to the path.

- Is it my wife and son?
- God answered: They were never yours the belonged to your heart.

- Is it my body?
- God answered: that was never yours it belonged to the dust.

-Is it my soul?
God answered: No that is mine.

Full of fear, the man took the suitcase from god and opened it just to find out the suitcase was empty.
- With a tear coming down his cheek the man said: I never had anything???
-God answered: that is correct, every moment you lived were only yours. Life is just a moment. a moment that belongs to you. For this reason enjoy this time while you have it. Don't let anything that you think you own stop you from doing so.
-Live Now
-Live your life
- Don't forget to be happy, that is the only thing that matters.
- Material things and everything else that you fought for stay here.
-YOU CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING

Share this reflection with anyone you love or appreciate. Enjoy every second you live.

Informative sms: WORK PRESSURE.....SYMPTOMS

WORK PRESSURE.....SYMPTOMS ❄♨
________________________________________
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys..🔑
_________________________________________
Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants . And as I finished..
I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..🍛
_________________________________________
Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the weekly status call?"📞
_________________________________________
I don't login to facebook, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home… thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize – I am at home.😎
_________________________________________
Yeah sometimes it does happens with me also. keeping hands in front of tap waiting for water to drop by itself is very frequent with me. I just forget that we have to turn on and off the tap….🛁
________________________________________
Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye…in case of any issues will call u back"😄
_________________________________________
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it's in the recycle bin !📛 _________________________________________
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab….pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg….. I replied 256mb….thank god he didn't notice.🎐
_________________________________________
And I – after a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen…💻


So avoid working SO hard ! Have a great work-life balance..😄😜😉

Informative sms: पाँच पाण्डव तथा सौ कौरवों के नाम ये थे :–

पाँच पाण्डव तथा सौ कौरवों के नाम ये थे :–

पाण्डव पाँच भाई थे जिनके नाम हैं -

1. युधिष्ठिर

2. भीम

3. अर्जुन

4. नकुल

5. सहदेव

( इन पांचों के अलावा , महाबली कर्ण

भी कुंती के ही पुत्र थे , परन्तु

उनकी गिनती पांडवों में नहीं की जाती है )

यहाँ ध्यान रखें कि… पाण्डु के उपरोक्त

पाँचों पुत्रों में से युधिष्ठिर, भीम और अर्जुन

की माता कुन्ती थीं ……तथा , नकुल और सहदेव

की माता माद्री थी ।

वहीँ …. धृतराष्ट्र और गांधारी के सौ पुत्र…..

कौरव कहलाए जिनके नाम हैं -

1. दुर्योधन

2. दुःशासन

3. दुःसह

4. दुःशल

5. जलसंघ

6. सम

7. सह

8. विंद

9. अनुविंद

10. दुर्धर्ष

11. सुबाहु

12. दुषप्रधर्षण

13. दुर्मर्षण

14. दुर्मुख

15. दुष्कर्ण

16. विकर्ण

17. शल

18. सत्वान

19. सुलोचन

20. चित्र

21. उपचित्र

22. चित्राक्ष

23. चारुचित्र

24. शरासन

25. दुर्मद

26. दुर्विगाह

27. विवित्सु

28. विकटानन्द

29. ऊर्णनाभ

30. सुनाभ

31. नन्द

32. उपनन्द

33. चित्रबाण

34. चित्रवर्मा

35. सुवर्मा

36. दुर्विमोचन

37. अयोबाहु

38. महाबाहु

39. चित्रांग

40. चित्रकुण्डल

41. भीमवेग

42. भीमबल

43. बालाकि

44. बलवर्धन

45. उग्रायुध

46. सुषेण

47. कुण्डधर

48. महोदर

49. चित्रायुध

50. निषंगी

51. पाशी

52. वृन्दारक

53. दृढ़वर्मा

54. दृढ़क्षत्र

55. सोमकीर्ति

56. अनूदर

57. दढ़संघ

58. जरासंघ

59. सत्यसंघ

60. सद्सुवाक

61. उग्रश्रवा

62. उग्रसेन

63. सेनानी

64. दुष्पराजय

65. अपराजित

66. कुण्डशायी

67. विशालाक्ष

68. दुराधर

69. दृढ़हस्त

70. सुहस्त

71. वातवेग

72. सुवर्च

73. आदित्यकेतु

74. बह्वाशी

75. नागदत्त

76. उग्रशायी

77. कवचि

78. क्रथन

79. कुण्डी

80. भीमविक्र

81. धनुर्धर

82. वीरबाहु

83. अलोलुप

84. अभय

85. दृढ़कर्मा

86. दृढ़रथाश्रय

87. अनाधृष्य

88. कुण्डभेदी

89. विरवि

90. चित्रकुण्डल

91. प्रधम

92. अमाप्रमाथि

93. दीर्घरोमा

94. सुवीर्यवान

95. दीर्घबाहु

96. सुजात

97. कनकध्वज

98. कुण्डाशी

99. विरज

100. युयुत्सु

( इन 100 भाइयों के अलावा कौरवों की एक बहन

भी थी… जिसका नाम""दुशाला""था,

जिसका विवाह"जयद्रथ"सेहुआ था )
"🌺श्री मद्-भगवत गीता🌸"
के बारे में-

👉किसको किसने सुनाई?
उ.- श्रीकृष्ण ने अर्जुन को सुनाई।

👉 कब सुनाई?
उ.- आज से लगभग 7 हज़ार साल पहले सुनाई।

👉भगवान ने किस दिन गीता सुनाई?
उ.- रविवार के दिन।

👉कोनसी तिथि को?
उ.- एकादशी

👉कहा सुनाई?
उ.- कुरुक्षेत्र की रणभूमि में।

👉 कितनी देर में सुनाई?
उ.- लगभग 45 मिनट में

👉 क्यू सुनाई?
उ.- कर्त्तव्य से भटके हुए अर्जुन को कर्त्तव्य सिखाने के लिए और आने वाली पीढियों को धर्म-ज्ञान सिखाने के लिए।

👉 कितने अध्याय है?
उ.- कुल 18 अध्याय

👉 कितने श्लोक है?
उ.- 700 श्लोक

👉 गीता में क्या-क्या बताया गया है?
उ.- ज्ञान-भक्ति-कर्म योग मार्गो की विस्तृत व्याख्या की गयी है, इन मार्गो पर चलने से व्यक्ति निश्चित ही परमपद का अधिकारी बन जाता है।

👉 गीता को अर्जुन के अलावा
और किन किन लोगो ने सुना?
उ.- धृतराष्ट्र एवं संजय ने

👉 अर्जुन से पहले गीता का पावन ज्ञान किन्हें मिला था?
उ.- भगवान सूर्यदेव को

👉 गीता की गिनती किन धर्म-ग्रंथो में आती है?
उ.- उपनिषदों में

👉 गीता किस महाग्रंथ का भाग है....?
उ.- गीता महाभारत के एक अध्याय शांति-पर्व का एक हिस्सा है।

👉 गीता का दूसरा नाम क्या है?
उ.- गीतोपनिषद

👉 गीता का सार क्या है?
उ.- प्रभु श्रीकृष्ण की शरण लेना

👉गीता में किसने कितने श्लोक कहे है?
उ.- श्रीकृष्ण ने- 574
अर्जुन ने- 85
धृतराष्ट्र ने- 1
संजय ने- 40.

🌺

अपनी युवा-पीढ़ी को गीता जी के बारे में जानकारी पहुचाने हेतु इसे ज्यादा से ज्यादा शेअर करे। धन्यवाद
"ham" "dua" "karte" "hai" "ki" "aap" "aane" "wale" "sal" "k" "12" "mahine" "khush" "rahen"; "52" "hapte" "muskurate" "rahen"; "365" "din" "aap" "par" "ishwar" "meharban" "rahe"; "8760" "ghante" "qismat" "aap" "ka" "sath" "de"; "525600" "minuts" "kamyabi" "aap" "k" "kadam" "chume"; "or" "31536000" "seconds" "hamari" "dua" "aap" "k" "sath" "rahe"; "advance" : "W+I+S+H" "FOR"+"YOU" "HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014... :

Sardar sms:Sardar 3 sardar picnic par gaye👣👣👣 wahan jaakar yaad aaya

3 sardar picnic par gaye👣👣👣

wahan jaakar yaad aaya
😯 😦 😧.


"PEPSI" to ghar par bhul gaye...
😶 😐 😶
Decide kiya k sab se chota sardar jakar pepsi le aye...

Chhota sardar: "Mai ek shartt par jaunga🚶🏃🚶🏃🚶🏃🚶🏃

Tum dono, mere aane tak samose nahi khaoge.." 😏

😐 Dono ne kaha thik hai 😐
..
..
..

🕛🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕕🕖🕗🕘
🕙🕚🕛🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕕🕛
2⃣ din guzar gaye
Chhota sardar nahi aya..
🕛🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕕🕖🕗🕘
🕙🕚🕛🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕕🕛
4⃣ din guzar gaye
Chhota sardar nahi aya..

😕Dono ne sochha😕 ke ab samose kha lene chahiye..

Jaise hi samosa uthaya.. chhota sardar ped ke pichhe se nikal ke bola..😏

''Aisa karoge toh mai nahi jaunga...!!!!!"
😛😜😝😝😂😂😂😂

Funny PJ: Khatarnak pjs Read at ur own risk

🔪🔪🔪🔪Khatarnak pjs .Read at ur own risk

Ek jungle me sab jaanwar ga rahe the, PAAN PARAAG PAAN MASALA- PAAN
PARAG!
Par Giraffe nahi ga raha tha!
KYUN?

?
?

Kyuki,
UNCHE LOG! UNCHHI PASAND! MANIKCHAND!!

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐

What do you call a Chinese who's lost her way home?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bhu Lee😂

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐

Why don!t ppl clap in Afghanistan?

?
?
?

Because there's the tali-ban!

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐

If u touch 2014 calender u will get a Shock
.
.
do u know y?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bcoz
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2014 is "CURRENT" year..


🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐

This PJ might blow ur senses away:

What do u call a lady who drinks only one tea in a day ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Jaswanti
(just 1 tea)...

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐

Which animal keeps calling(dialling) crow?


.

.





.


.


Crow-co-dile

🌐🌐🌐🌐🌐
😜😜😜😜

Shayri sms:Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya.. .

🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵

✔ Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya.. .💏💑👫
.
.
Wah!👏
Wah!👏
Wah!!👏
Wah!!👏
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya... 💑💏👫


Phirrrrr...?

Phir kya.!
?
?
?
?
?

👵Biwi ne dekh liya aur ICU me 👷 👷 hosh aaya... 😩😫😪😭
Ha Ha Ha... 😂😂


✔☝Ek aur...

Aankho mein nami thi,
Aur vitamin ki kami thi..
Wah Wah,

Jis-se raat-bhar chatting ki

Woh Girl-friend ki mummy thi...

✔☝Ek aur...

Koi pathar se na maare
mere dewaane ko...

Nuclear power ka jamaana hai,

Bomb se udaa do saale ko...

✔ Bas☝last...

Tajmahal kya cheez hai,

Is-se achi imaarat banaunga,

Mumtaz to mar-kar dafan hui thi,

Tujhe to main zinda dafnaunga...


✔☝Bas iske baad khatam...

Hasi ke liye gam kurbaan,

Khushi ke liye aansoo kurbaan,

Dost ke liye jaan bhi kurbaan,

Aurr

Agar dost ki girlfreind mil jaye to...

Saala dost bhi kurbaan...
😉😉😉😉😉


✔'("3 Dost")'
😳😁😫
Billu, Gullu & Ulloo...

Billu 😳 B.Sc. mein padh raha hai...

Gullu 😁 M.A. mein padh raha hai...

Aur hamara Ulloo 😩 WhatsApp padh raha hai...

'Haa Haa Haa' 😃😄😀

Hanso mat, mere saath bhi aisa hi hua hai...

Chalo ab tumari baari hai, banao subko Ulloo...🎃

Jaldi-jaldi banao, warna msg aam ho jaayega...😜