Quote on life sms: Nice line by Javed Akhtar Sahab:

Nice line by Javed Akhtar Sahab:

" लब्ज़ ही ऐसी चीज़ है
जिसकी वजह से इंसान
या तो दिल में उतर जाता है
या दिल से उतर जाता है "

ज़िन्दगी के इस कश्मकश मैं
वैसे तो मैं भी काफ़ी बिजी हुँ ,
लेकिन वक़्त का बहाना बना कर ,
अपनों को भूल जाना मुझे आज भी नहीं आता !

जहाँ यार याद न आए वो तन्हाई किस काम की, बिगड़े रिश्ते न बने तो खुदाई किस काम की, बेशक अपनी मंज़िल तक जाना है ,
पर जहाँ से अपना दोस्त ना दिखे
वो ऊंचाई किस काम की ..

Husband wife sms:

📍1. मांग भरने की सजा कुछ इस कदर पा रहा हूँ
की मांग पूरी करते-करते, अब मांग-मांग के खा रहा हूँ...!!!
*****************************
📍2. पापा: बेटी, बड़ी हो के क्या करोगी?
बेटी: शादी...
पापा: गलत बात है... अभी से किसी का बुरा नहीं सोचते...!
*****************************
📍3. पति ने पान खरीद के पत्नी को खाने के लिए दिया.
पत्नी: अरे... आप ने तो अपने लिए लिया ही नहीं..!
पति: में तो ऐसे ही खामोश रह सकता हूँ...!
*****************************
📍4. बीवी क्या होती है?
बीवी भगवन के प्रसाद जैसे होती है,
जिसमे चाहते हुए भी कोई नुक्स नहीं निकाल सकते;
श्रद्धा और मज़बूरी के साथ चुपचाप खाए जाओ...!
*****************************
📍5. पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पुरुषो को अप्सराए
मिलती है.. औरतो को क्या मिलता है?
पति: कुछ नहीं; उपरवाला सिर्फ दुखी लोगो की ही सुनता है..!
*****************************
📍6. पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पति-पत्नी को साथ में रहेने
नहीं देते...
पति: पगली, तभी तो उसे स्वर्ग कहेते है.!
*****************************
📍7. मतदान करने के लिए उम्र 18 साल, और शादी के लिए
21 साल... ऐसा क्यू?
क्यू की, सरकार जानती है, की
बीवी संभालना, वो मुल्क सँभालने ज्यादा मुश्किल है...!
*****************************
📍8. FRIEND is- Asian Paints = जो दुनिया बदल दे...
GIRLFRIEND is- Everest Masala = जो टेस्ट में बेस्ट...
WIFE is-- Mosquito Coil = जो कोने-कोने से ढूंढ के मारे !
*****************************
📍9. ज़िन्दगी के शुरुआत "S" से होती है:
S से सूरज, सुबह, शाम, समय,....
उसके बाद: S से सगाई, शादी, फिर सांस, ससुर, साला, साली,
और फिर सत्यiनाश...!
*****************************
📍10. पति: डार्लिंग, तुम खूबसूरत होती जा रही हो...
पत्नी (खुश हो कर, रसोईघर में से): तुमने कैसे जाना?y
पति: तुम्हे देख कर रोटियां भी जलने लगी है...
*****************************
📍11. किसी को उसके फटे हुए जूते, मैले कपडे, पुरानी घडी,
उतरा हुआ मुंह,.... इत्यादि चीजो से उसे गरीब ना मानो....
हो सकता है, की वो आदमी शादीशुदा हो.

Punjabi sms:Arz kita hai ...

Arz kita hai ...
Har anaar vich pattaaka nhi hunda...
Har anaar vich pattaaka nhi hunda...
Oh ik jaffi ta pa la sohniye ..jaffi paan naal kaka ni hunda...😜😜

Naughty sms: Delhi metro confessions page on FB:

Delhi metro confessions page on FB:-

"I boarded the metro from rajiv chowk and while I was standing in the line
I started staring a pretty girl.
She was wearing a black t-shirt and smiled back at me.
Then I skipped 2-3 queues to be near her so that I could board the compartment next to the women's coach.
To my utter surprise,
she chose to stand next to me in between the passage which connects the women's compartment and the very next compartment.
Though we didn't talk but got a high on as due to heavy crowd we kind of touched each other👫 .
And then,
when I de-boarded the metro
I never found my Samsung Note 2 in my pocket !
I called at my number and it rang !
A girl picked up and laughed 😁!
and till now no trace of my phone!

#Chorni..!!!
Burn in hell..!

& the funniest part was the
First comment which has 600 likes:-

"TOUCH ke badle TOUCHSCREEN le gayi" 😂😂😂😂😂

Husband wife sms: Nurse to patient with bleeding head:

Nurse to patient with bleeding head: your name? Patient: Pappu Singh.


Nurse: age? Patient: 25 years.


Nurse: married? Patient : no no, car accident !!

Sharabi sms: Awesome line 👌

Awesome line 👌:

"Alcohol is just water.... with feelings in it"

😉😝👍🍸🍸

Friendship sms: Feb 7: Rose Day ___ Rs.20 (Red Rose)

Feb 7: Rose Day ___ Rs.20 (Red Rose)
.
Feb 8: Propose Day ___ Rs.100
(Card + Ice Cream)
.
Feb 9: Chocolate Day ___ Rs.250
(Cant give a low price chocolate)
.
Feb 10: Teddy Day ___ Rs.700
(That s the lowest price)
.
Feb 11: Promise Day ___ Rs.130
(Again,few food expenses )
.
Feb 12: Hug Day ___ Rs.250
(You have to hug after applying a
DEO)
.
Feb 13: Kiss Day ___ Rs.150
(SPRAY MINT before kissing) .
.
Feb 14: Valentine Day ___ Rs. 2000
(You cant handle lesser than this
amount)
.
CONGRATULATIONS-SINGLES,,,
You are going to Save Nearly Rs.3600 in a Week

Quote on life sms: The Irony of Life is.....

The Irony of Life is.....

Airports have seen more Affectionate Kisses
than Wedding Halls..

The Walls of Hospitals have heard more Sincere Prayers
than the Walls of Temples,
Masjid and churches..

Good Days or Bad Days Depend on ur Thinking. What u Call "Suffocation" in Local Train Becomes an
"Atmosphere" in Disco.

Pizza....always confuses us ... it comes in a square box ... when you open it ... it's round ... when you start eating it ... it's triangle !
Life & People are also like Pizza ... Look different .. Appear different .. & .. Behave absolutely different

Fact of life:

5 Apple : Rs. 60
Apple 5 : Rs. 60,000

POSITION matters.. :)

Funny sms: Dont laugh alone pass it on.....👹👹

Dont laugh alone pass it on.....👹👹
An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.
Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.
"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"😜😂😂😂

Informative sms: 🌿Knowledge🌿

🌿Knowledge🌿

In Ancient England,
People Could Not have Sex Without King's Permission.

To Have A Baby, They Were Supposed To Get King's Consent.

They Were Then Given A Card To Hang On Their Door While Having Sex,

Which Read As:
"Fornication Under The Consent of King" (F.U.C.K.)

So The Word 'Fuck' Came In to Existence..!

Kisi Ko Pata Tha Kya? Nahi Na?
Bas Fuck Fuck Karte Rahte Hai...........

Spread This Fucking Knowledge!😜😝😉

Funny lines: If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT,

If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT,
Why are whales FAT ??
😳😳😳😳

Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT,
called a STAND ?
😣😣😣😣

Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN,
but nobody wants to DIE..
😂😂😂😂

Shall I say that there is racial discrimination even in chess...
As the WHITE piece is moved FIRST...
😱😱😱😱

In our country,
We have FREEDOM of SPEECH,
Then why do we have TELEPHONE BILLS ?
😡😡😡😡

If money doesn't grow on TREES,
then why do banks have BRANCHES ?
😆😆😆😆

Why doesn't GLUE
stick to its BOTTLE ?
😭😭😭😭

Why do you still call it a BUILDING,
when its already BUILT ?
😨😨😨😨

If its true that we are here to HELP others,
What are others HERE for ?
😆 😆😆😆

If you arent supposed to DRINK and DRIVE...
Why do bars have PARKING lots ?
😲😲😲😲

If All The Nations In The World Are In Debt,
Where Did All The Money Go..?
😧😧😧😧

When Dog Food Is New With Improved Taste,
Who Tests It..?
😈😈😈😈

If The "Black Box" Flight Recorder Is Never Damaged During A Plane Crash,
Why Isn't The Whole Airplane Made Out Of That Stuff..?
🙀🙀🙀🙀

Who Copyrighted
The Copyright Symbol..?
🙈🙈🙈🙈

Can You Cry Under Water.?
😂😭😂😭

Why Do People Say "You've Been Working Like A Dog",
When Dogs Just Sit Around All Day..??
😆😆😆😆

We all are Living in a seriously funny world....😝😜😆😛

So Enjoy buddy😜😝 !!