Husband wife sms: TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::

TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::
1) To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
2) To put someone else's money in your own pocket.

The one who succeeds in the First is called a TEACHER and the one who succeeds in the Second is called a POLITICIAN.

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE.👍😁
The one who fails in both
is called the HUSBAND 😓😓

Husband wife sms: एक मौलवी साहब तक़रीर कर रहे थे :

एक मौलवी साहब तक़रीर कर रहे थे :
लोगों किसी कि औरतों को मत
देखा करो....
,
इन के बदले तुम्हे जन्नत में हूरें
मिलेंगी हूरें,
,
हूरें भी ऐसी होंगी कि क्या कहू,
,
हूर ऐसी होगी,
ऐसी होगी कि क्या बयान करू,
,
मौलवी साहब थोडा और
जज्बाती हो कर बोले ;
मैं तुम्हे हूर कि क्या मिसाल दूं,
,
अपने बशीर साहब की बीवी को ही देख
लो,
,
कसम खुदा कि हूर है हूर ...

IPL 3 schedule:IPL 3 April to 26 may

IPL 3 April to 26 may
3/4 KKR- DEL 8:00PM
4/4 RBC - MUM 8;00PM
5/4 HYD - PUNE 8:00PM
6/4 DEL - RAJ 4:00PM
6/4 CSK - MUM 8:00PM
7/4 PUNE-PNJ 4:00PM
7/4 HYD - RCB 8:00PM
8/4 RAJ - KKR 8:00PM
9/4 MUM - DEL 8:00PM
10/4 PNJ - CSK 8:00PM
11/4 RCB - KKR 4:00PM
11/4 PUNE - RAJ 8:00PM
12/4 DEL - HYD 8:00PM
13/4 MUM - PUNE 4:00PM
13/4 CSK - RCB 8:00PM
14/4 KKR - HYD 4:00PM
14/4 RAJ - PNJB 8:00PM
15/4 CSK - PUNE 8:00PM
16/4 PNJB - KKR 4:00PM
16/4 RCB - DEL 8:00PM
17/4 PUNE - HYD 4:00PM
17/4 RAH - MUM 8:00PM
18/4 DEL - CSK 8:00PM
19/4 HYD - PNJB 8;00PM
20/4 KKR - CSK 4:00PM
20/4 RCB - RAJ 8:00PM
21/4 DEL - MUM 4:00PM
21/4 PNJB - PUNE 8:00PM
22/4 CSK - RAJ 8:00PM
23/4 RCB - PUNE 4:00PM
23/4 PNJB - DEL 8:00PM
24/4 KKR - MUM 8:00PM
25/4 CSK - HYD 8:00PM
26/4 KKR - PNJB 8:00OM
27/4 RAJ - HYD 4:00PM
27/4 MUM - RCB 8:00PM
28/4 CSK - KKR 4:00PM
28/4 DEL - PUNE 8:00PM
29/4 RAJ - RCB 4:00PM
29/4 MUM - PNJB 8:00PM
30/4 PUNE - CSK 8:00PM
1/5 HYD - MUM 4:00PM
1/5 DEL - KKR 8:00PM
2/5 CSK - PNJB 4:00PM
2/5 PUNE - RCB 8:00PM
3/5 KKR - RAJ 8:00PM
4/5 HYD - DEL 4:00PM
4/5 RCB - PNJB 8:00PM
5/5 MUM - CSK 4:00PM
5/5 RAJ -PUNE 8:00PM
6/5 RCB - HYD 8:00PM
7/5 RAJ - DEL 4:00PM
7/5 MUM - KKR 8:00PM
8/5 HYD - CSK 8:00PM
9/5 PNJB - RAJ 4:00PM
9/5 PUNE - KKR 8:00PM
10/5 DEL - RCB 8:00PM
11/5 PUNE - MUM 4:00PM
11/5 PNJB - HYD 8:00PM
12/5 KKR - RCB 4:00PM
12/5 RAJ - CSK 8:00PM
13/5 DEL - PNJB 4:00PM
13/5 MUM - HYD 8:00PM
14/5 KKR - PUNE 8:00PM
15/5 MUM - RAJ 8:00PM
16/5 CSK - DEL 4:00PM
16/5 PNJB - RCB 8:00PM
17/5 HYD - RAJ 8:00PM
18/5 PNJB - MUM 4:00PM
18/5 PUNE - DEL 8:00PM
19/5 RCB - CSK 8:00
21/5 QF 1(1st - 2nd) 8:00pm
22/5 elm (3rd -4th)
24/5 qf2 8:00pm
26/5 IPL FINAL 8:00PM

i bet issie pehle kisi k pass ni aaya hoga just 5 min pehle announce hua...

Husband wife sms: WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started.
*************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started.
***************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started.
***************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.
***************************

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
***************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for 300 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..
And then the fight started
************************
Mayawati ka Balatkaar ho gaya.
Haso mat.. Joke aage hai..
Manmohan asks Doctor: Uski tabiyat kaisi hai.
Doctor: Hum Oxygen mask laga kr unke chehre ki khushi ko chupane ki koshish kr rahe hai...

Santa banta sms: This 1 is a killer 1 .....

This 1 is a killer 1 .....
Teacher- beta batao britannia tiger biscuit pe jo green dot h uska matlab kya h.?
Student- iska matlab ki tiger online hai.😂
😍

Santa banta sms: Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Santa banta sms: Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo.

Santa banta sms: 1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi

1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi
Santa ne Window se Dekha
Socho Santa kya bola hoga?

Sirf latkne se height nhi bdhegi mumy ko bolo COMPLAN pilaye.
😉☺😊😀😃😄

Santa banta sms: Santa Sharab pite pite

Santa Sharab pite pite
Rone Laga...
Banta: Kya hua Ro Q
Rahe Ho?
Santa: Yaar Jis Ladki ko
Bhulane ke Liye Pi raha
thaUska Naam Yaad
Nahi Aa Raha..

Shayri sms: Galatiyon Se Juda Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi,

Galatiyon Se Juda Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi,
Dono Insaan hain, Khuda Tu Bhi
Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi ... !

" Tu Mujhe or Mai Tujhe Ilzaam Dete Hain Magar,
Apne Andar Jhankta Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi " ... !!

" Galat Fahmiyon Ne Kar Di Dono Mai Paida Dooriyan,
Warna Fitrat Ka Bura Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi " ... !!!

Apne Apne Raston Pe Dono Ka Safar Jaari Raha,
Ek Lamhe Ko Ruka Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi ... !!!!

" Chahte Dono Bohut Ek Doosre Ko Hain Magar,
Ye Haqiqat Maanta Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi " ... !!!! 😊

Sharabi sms: कौन कहता है के मुसाफिर ज़ख़्मी नहीं होते,

कौन कहता है के मुसाफिर ज़ख़्मी नहीं होते,
रास्ते गवाह है, बस कमबख्त गवाही नहीं देते ।।
-----
फिर आज निकलीहै वो बे-नक़ाब शहर में,
फिर आज भीड़ होगी कफ़न की दुकान मे

-----
हक़ से दे तो तेरी "नफरत" भी सर आँखों पर...
खैरात में तो तेरी "मोहब्बत" भी मंजूर नहीं...
------
Teri mahobbat ke pyase the is liye haath faila diye,
Varna hum to apni zindagi ke liye bhi dua nahi mangte.
-----
Unhe chaat pe jane se mana kar diya hum ne,
Be wajah saher me eid ki tarik badal jati hai ...
-----
Kaash teri yado ka khazana bech pate hum,
Aaj hamari bhi ginti amiro me hoti -----

Ek Nafrat hi hai jise duniya chand Lamhon me jaan Leti hai,,,,
Warna Chahat ka yakeen Dilane me to Zindagi Beet jaati hai...
-----
दुनिया का उसूल हैं,

जब तक तेरा काम हैं,

तब तक तेरा नाम हैं

वरना सिर्फ दूर से सलाम हैं...
-----
खुबसूरत क्या कह दिया उनको, के वो हमको छोड़कर शीशे के हो गए,,
तराशा नहीं था तो पत्थर थे, तराश दिया तो खुदा हो गए.!!!!!
-----
सुनकर
ज़माने की बातें,
तू अपनी अदा मत बदल..

यकीं रख
अपने खुदा पर,
यूँ बार बार खुदा मत बदल...
----
धूल हालात को हर बार चटायी मैंने...
मुकद्दर
तो नहीं पर ज़िगर जरुर रखता हूँ |
----
बेवजह मन पे कोई बोझ ना भारी रखिए,.
जिन्दगी जंग है ईस जंग को जारी रखिए।।
-----
क्यों याद करेगा कोई बेवजह मुझे अये खुदा ,
लोग तो बेवजह तुम्हे भी याद नहीं करते !!"
----

इतना आसान नहीं है गुमशुदा मोहब्बत का पता ...
खुद भटकते हैं यहाँ राह बताने वाले .
and here's the best one...
हर शख्स मुझे ज़िन्दगी जीने का तरीका बताता है..
उन्हें कैसे समझाऊ कि एक " ख्वाब " अधूरा है मेरा..
वरना जीना तो मुझे भी आता है.