Mykitchencam

Monday, February 17, 2014

Political humor: एअरपोर्ट कहाँ गया,,,

एअरपोर्ट कहाँ गया,,,
फ्लाईओवर कहाँ गया ,,,
मेट्रो कहाँ गई ,,,
का जवाब......
************************
खुशहाल देश का एक "विज्ञापन" ये भी ..
एक महिला पति से :- ऐजी, आप " सुबह सुबह " बैठे
क्यों हो
"सिलेंडर" खत्म हो गया है अलमारी से 200 रूपये ले लो और
जल्दी से एक 'सिलेंडर'' ले आओ और हाँ जाते जाते 80
रुपये
का "लाईट का बिल" भी भरते आना ! वापसी में " स्कूटर "
मे
30 रु का "एक लीटर" पेट्रॊल डलवाना ना भूलना
मेहमान आ रहे है 14 रुपये वाली 'दूध' की दो थैलीयां ले
आना
और हां साथ मे दस रुपये की 2 किलो ''प्याज'' भी लेते
आना ! !!!!!

बेटा पिताजी से :- पापा; ये मॉं को क्या हुआ है ?
पिता मॉं को हिलाते हुए :- जागो भागवान जागो,
तुम भी ना नींद मे कुछ भी बोलती रहती हो ? .....

मॉं आंखे खोलते हुए - उफ़ ये 'महंगाई ये 'भ्रष्टाचार ये
घोटाले
और वो भी सिर्फ़ 'पिछले दस सालों' मे । .....
😜😜😜😜😜

Quote on life sms: खामोश बैठें तो लोग कहते हैं उदासी अच्छी नहीं..........

खामोश बैठें तो लोग कहते हैं उदासी अच्छी नहीं..........

ज़रा सा हँस लें तो मुस्कुराने की वजह पूछ लेते हैं....!!

Husband wife sms: TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::

TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::
1) To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
2) To put someone else's money in your own pocket.

The one who succeeds in the First is called a TEACHER and the one who succeeds in the Second is called a POLITICIAN.

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE.👍😁
The one who fails in both
is called the HUSBAND 😓😓

Husband wife sms: एक मौलवी साहब तक़रीर कर रहे थे :

एक मौलवी साहब तक़रीर कर रहे थे :
लोगों किसी कि औरतों को मत
देखा करो....
,
इन के बदले तुम्हे जन्नत में हूरें
मिलेंगी हूरें,
,
हूरें भी ऐसी होंगी कि क्या कहू,
,
हूर ऐसी होगी,
ऐसी होगी कि क्या बयान करू,
,
मौलवी साहब थोडा और
जज्बाती हो कर बोले ;
मैं तुम्हे हूर कि क्या मिसाल दूं,
,
अपने बशीर साहब की बीवी को ही देख
लो,
,
कसम खुदा कि हूर है हूर ...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

IPL 3 schedule:IPL 3 April to 26 may

IPL 3 April to 26 may
3/4 KKR- DEL 8:00PM
4/4 RBC - MUM 8;00PM
5/4 HYD - PUNE 8:00PM
6/4 DEL - RAJ 4:00PM
6/4 CSK - MUM 8:00PM
7/4 PUNE-PNJ 4:00PM
7/4 HYD - RCB 8:00PM
8/4 RAJ - KKR 8:00PM
9/4 MUM - DEL 8:00PM
10/4 PNJ - CSK 8:00PM
11/4 RCB - KKR 4:00PM
11/4 PUNE - RAJ 8:00PM
12/4 DEL - HYD 8:00PM
13/4 MUM - PUNE 4:00PM
13/4 CSK - RCB 8:00PM
14/4 KKR - HYD 4:00PM
14/4 RAJ - PNJB 8:00PM
15/4 CSK - PUNE 8:00PM
16/4 PNJB - KKR 4:00PM
16/4 RCB - DEL 8:00PM
17/4 PUNE - HYD 4:00PM
17/4 RAH - MUM 8:00PM
18/4 DEL - CSK 8:00PM
19/4 HYD - PNJB 8;00PM
20/4 KKR - CSK 4:00PM
20/4 RCB - RAJ 8:00PM
21/4 DEL - MUM 4:00PM
21/4 PNJB - PUNE 8:00PM
22/4 CSK - RAJ 8:00PM
23/4 RCB - PUNE 4:00PM
23/4 PNJB - DEL 8:00PM
24/4 KKR - MUM 8:00PM
25/4 CSK - HYD 8:00PM
26/4 KKR - PNJB 8:00OM
27/4 RAJ - HYD 4:00PM
27/4 MUM - RCB 8:00PM
28/4 CSK - KKR 4:00PM
28/4 DEL - PUNE 8:00PM
29/4 RAJ - RCB 4:00PM
29/4 MUM - PNJB 8:00PM
30/4 PUNE - CSK 8:00PM
1/5 HYD - MUM 4:00PM
1/5 DEL - KKR 8:00PM
2/5 CSK - PNJB 4:00PM
2/5 PUNE - RCB 8:00PM
3/5 KKR - RAJ 8:00PM
4/5 HYD - DEL 4:00PM
4/5 RCB - PNJB 8:00PM
5/5 MUM - CSK 4:00PM
5/5 RAJ -PUNE 8:00PM
6/5 RCB - HYD 8:00PM
7/5 RAJ - DEL 4:00PM
7/5 MUM - KKR 8:00PM
8/5 HYD - CSK 8:00PM
9/5 PNJB - RAJ 4:00PM
9/5 PUNE - KKR 8:00PM
10/5 DEL - RCB 8:00PM
11/5 PUNE - MUM 4:00PM
11/5 PNJB - HYD 8:00PM
12/5 KKR - RCB 4:00PM
12/5 RAJ - CSK 8:00PM
13/5 DEL - PNJB 4:00PM
13/5 MUM - HYD 8:00PM
14/5 KKR - PUNE 8:00PM
15/5 MUM - RAJ 8:00PM
16/5 CSK - DEL 4:00PM
16/5 PNJB - RCB 8:00PM
17/5 HYD - RAJ 8:00PM
18/5 PNJB - MUM 4:00PM
18/5 PUNE - DEL 8:00PM
19/5 RCB - CSK 8:00
21/5 QF 1(1st - 2nd) 8:00pm
22/5 elm (3rd -4th)
24/5 qf2 8:00pm
26/5 IPL FINAL 8:00PM

i bet issie pehle kisi k pass ni aaya hoga just 5 min pehle announce hua...

Husband wife sms: WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started.
*************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started.
***************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started.
***************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.
***************************

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
***************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for 300 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..
And then the fight started
************************
Mayawati ka Balatkaar ho gaya.
Haso mat.. Joke aage hai..
Manmohan asks Doctor: Uski tabiyat kaisi hai.
Doctor: Hum Oxygen mask laga kr unke chehre ki khushi ko chupane ki koshish kr rahe hai...