wen sum1 is so sweet to u, dont expect that ..

wen sum1 is so sweet to u, dont expect that they will be like that all
the time... bcz even the sweetest choclate also expires...

Titanic Ke Saath Sardar Doob Raha Tha, Aur jor jor se hans raha tha...

Titanic Ke Saath Sardar Doob Raha Tha, Aur Jor Jor Se Hans Raha Tha,
Kisine Pucha Kyun Hans Rahe Ho? Srdr: Accha Hua Retrn Ticket Nahi Liya

Boy:-Mai 4 years ka hu,Aur tum?

Boy:-Mai 4 years ka hu,Aur tum?
Girl:-Mai bhi 4 years ki hu.

Boy:-To fir chal na,
Sharmana kya?

Girl:-Kahaa???.......

Boy: polio Ki dawai pine..!

A Very Hairy Dog Bites Banta but he offers him a Biscuit.

A Very Hairy Dog Bites Banta but he offers him a Biscuit.

Santa: R u mad?

Banta: 1 Baar Pata Chal Jaye Is haramkhor kuttey Ka Muh Kidhar Hai
Phir Iski ma behen ek kerunga.:D

Husband: Ab tum hi iss ghar ko swarg bana sakti ho. Wife: Khush hote hue, woh kaise?..

Husband: Ab tum hi iss ghar ko swarg bana sakti ho. Wife: Khush hote
hue, woh kaise? Husband: Maikey jaa kar..

1 sharabi mar raha tha to Bhagwan prakat hue aur bole- Koi antim ichcha?

1 sharabi mar raha tha to Bhagwan prakat hue aur bole- Koi antim ichcha?

Sharabi- Prabhu.. agli baar Aankh chahe 1 hi dena, par liver 4 dena...

Teacher:Konsa Prinda sbse Tez udta h?
Boy:Hathi
T:Nlayak,tere bap kya krta hai?
B:mumbai ke don hai
T:Shabash hathi sahi jawab hai.

Girl: Hum kahan ja rahe hain? Boy: Long drive!

Girl: Hum kahan ja rahe hain? Boy: Long drive! Girl: Pehle kyun nahi
bataya? Boy: Mujhe bhi abhi pata chala jab break nahi lag rahe..

Ramu apne 16 bachho ke sath dost ke ghar gaya

Ramu apne 16 bachho ke sath dost ke ghar gaya. Dost ne itni badi
family dekh kar gusse mein kaha: Lajja nahi aaye. Ramu: Nahi uska exam
hai..

Mirchi muh ke alaawa or kaha lagti hai?

    Mirchi muh ke alaawa or kaha lagti hai?
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Kheto me pagal...
aapka Ulta dimag hamesha ulta hi sochega

Sas ne apne 3 damadon ki muhabbat aazmane ke liye unke samne dariya me chalang laga di

    Sas ne apne 3 damadon ki muhabbat aazmane ke liye unke samne dariya me
chalang laga di

Pehle damaad ne use bacha liya, Usko sas ki taraf se car mil gayi.
2nd day yahi drama hua.
2nd damad ne bhi bacha liya,use scooter inam me mila...
3rd day repeated, tisre damad ne socha ki mere liye to ab cycle hi
rahi gayi hai,, Kya zarurat hai bachane ki......
Sas dub gayi..
agle din usi damad ko ""mercediz"" mil gayi,
Sasur ki taraf se ..

For all my married friends:: D

    For all my married friends::
Having a wife is a part of living.
But living with your wife and having a girlfriend is called The Art of
Living... ;)

Santa-papa 500 rs. de do. papa-kya krega?

Santa-papa 500 rs. de do. papa-kya krega? santa-mere saare frnds ka
account h main b khulwaunga.a. papa-very gud..kaha pe? santa-theke
par...

   

Wife shoping se aayi or Husbnd ne darwaza khola

Wife shoping se aayi or Husbnd ne darwaza khola,
Wife=Ye Dabba utha lo
Hus=Isme jarur mere khane ki koi cheez hogi,
Wife=Ha,Mere sandel hai.
   

Lion sleeps 18 hours a day!

Lion sleeps 18 hours a day!

If hardwork is the key to success then donkey would have been the king
of animals!

This message is dedicated to all my hardworking friends.

Have a nice weekend...

Chuhiya ped pe chadi to bandar ne pucha upr kyo ayi, chuhiya-apple khane.

Chuhiya ped pe chadi to bandar ne pucha upr kyo ayi, chuhiya-apple
khane. Bandar-ye to aam ka ped h, chuhiya-saale tu zyada chaudhary mat
ban apple sath layi hu

Shadi k 2 din baad beti phone pe-maa meri unse raat ladai ho gayi hai, Maa..

Shadi k 2 din baad beti phone pe-maa meri unse raat ladai ho gayi hai,
Maa-beti shadi mai jhagde hote rehte hai, beti- wo to theek hai par ab
laash ka kya karu??

Bhikhari: Saab, pariwar se dur ho gaya hu, Milne k liye 150 Rs ki zarurat h...

Bhikhari: Saab, pariwar se dur ho gaya hu, Milne k liye 150 Rs ki zarurat h...

Saab: Kahan h tera pariwar?

Bhikhari: Samne PVR me dabang dekh raha h.

If girl vomits her parents ask-kaun tha wo kamina?

If girl vomits her parents ask-kaun tha wo kamina?

If boy vomits-kamine kaha pikar aya hai?

Moral: no matter whoever vomits
boys r always kamine...

Santa Calld FM Radio:I found Wallet wid 15000Rs,Credit Card

Santa Calld FM Radio:
I found Wallet wid 15000Rs,
Credit Card
&
ID Card of Mr.Sharma
Joky:So U want t retrn it?
Santa:Na oye! :p
I want 2 Dedicte Him a Sad Song.!!:D

Self insult: Angry boss: Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?

Self insult: Angry boss: Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?

Employee (sar jhuka ke): Nahi sir.!!

Boss: Neeche kya dekh rahe ho idiot? Meri taraf dekho.:-)

Koi kehta tha advani ki sarkar,..

Koi kehta tha advani ki sarkar,
Koi kehta tha mayawati ki sarkar
koi kehta tha pawar ki sarkar
Par sach to ye hai

Sub ki maar gaya sardar..!!!

Santa ws filing a slambook.He dint knw d meaning of zodiac

Santa ws filing a slambook.He dint knw d meaning of zodiac..He turnd d
previous pg & saw dat smbdy hd wrtn Cancer, so he wrote KIDNEY
FAILURE!!!:-D;-)

Q- What is the definition of a woman?

Q- What is the definition of a woman?
Ans- Someone who talks for hours while standing at the door,but wont
sit.because she is geting late.

;-) :-D

Suhag raat mein Santa confuse ho gaya ki Nayi Biwi se kya bole.?

Suhag raat mein Santa confuse ho gaya ki Nayi Biwi se kya bole.?

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Akhir mein bola -

Aap ke gharwalo ko malum hai k aap yaha mere sath ho ?

Sardar on phone 'Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now'.

Sardar on phone 'Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now'.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.......

Railway Toilet mein likha tha: "Duniya chand pe pahuch gayi aur tu yahi baitha he..!"

Railway Toilet mein likha tha:
"Duniya chand pe pahuch gayi aur tu yahi baitha he..!"

Sharma ji ne niche likh ke aaya:
"Bas dho k jaa hi raha hu..!!"

Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum. Wah wah.

Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum.

Wah wah.

Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum.
Wah wah..

Arey aage kya hua?

Hona kya tha?

Dhoop nikli aur sookh gaye hum...

Santa Banta's plane catches fire. Only 2 parachutes.

Santa Banta's plane catches fire.
Only 2 parachutes.
Santa Banta take 1 each.
Banta: What about air hostess?
Santa: Fuck her!
Banta: Sachi das, enna time hai?

Delhi traffic update

Traffic movement has been restricted on Shaheed Bhagat Singh Marg due
to road carpeting work.

Before mariage Boy-I hav bin waitng 4 dis day

Before mariage
Boy-I hav bin waitng 4 dis day
Grl-Do u wnt me 2 leave?
B-NO,dont even think abt it
G-do u luv me?
B-of course
G-Will u ever cheat me?
B-never in my lyf
G-Will u kis me?
B-Every chance I get
G-Wil u hit me?
B-R u crazy
G-CAN I TRUST U?
B-YES
G-SWT HEART
AFTER MARRIAGE
ab niche se uper padho...? :D

Teachar -NAADE ko english me kya kehte hai ?

Teachar -NAADE ko english me kya kehte hai ?

GOLU - P.H.D.

Tchr - kya matlab ?

GOLU - Pajama Holding device.

Opration ke bad patient bola: "Doctor sahab Kya ab mai ROG-MUKT hu?"

Opration ke bad patient bola: "Doctor sahab Kya ab mai ROG-MUKT hu?"

Samne se Jawab mila: "Beta,Doctor sahab to Dharti pe reh gaye,
Mai to CHITRAGUPT hu.."

This pj might damage your senses to think.. :D

This pj might damage your senses to think..

What would you get if a cow dances?
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Guidance:-)...:-D

Every man wants a wife who is Beautiful, Understanding

Every man wants a wife who is Beautiful, Understanding, Economical and
a Good Cook. But the law allows only ONE!!!

A guy walks into the bar. Guy: 6 double vodka.

A guy walks into the bar.
Guy: 6 double vodka.
Bartender: Wow!U must hv had 1 hell of a day!!
Guy:Yes..I jst found out dat my eldr brothr is gay.:-D
D nxt day d same guy walks into the bar.
Guy:6 double vodka.
Bartndr:Wat's d prblm today?
Guy:I've just found out dat my youngr brothr is gay 2!:-D
On d 3rd day d guy came to d bar n ordrs another 6 double vodka.
Bartender:Jeese! Doesn't nybody in ur family lyk women?
Guy:Yeah.
My WIFE !!:-

Delhi traffic update sept 12 2010

Traffic movement is slow on these roads due water logging:- Rama Road
Najafgarh, Moti Nagar, Jakhira, New rohtak road, Kamal T-point to
Karolbagh due to heavy water logging.

Tarffic movement is slow at Dhaula Kuan towards Maya Puri Ring Road
due to heavy water logging.

Traffic movement is slow at Chatta Rail under railway bridge near red
fort, Mori Gate towards Tis Hazari, Hanuman setu under flyover, Monkey
Bridge towards Rajghat due to water logging.

Snta: O kudi kinni soni hai. Bnta: Eh kudi

Snta: O kudi kinni soni hai. Bnta: Eh kudi theek nhi. Snta: kyo?
Bnta: Mai aj bank gya c, eh counter te bethi c. Agge name plate te
likhya c " CHALU KHAta..

BeWajah kisi ko Sataya Nahi Karte,U Hi Kisi Ko TADPAYA Nhi Karte..

BeWajah kisi ko Sataya Nahi Karte,U Hi Kisi Ko TADPAYA Nhi Karte,Jinki
SANSE Chalti Ho AAPKE KHooN se. ALLOUT Jalakar Unhe Bhagaya Nahi
Karte. :D

Santa-Simla ja rha hu, Raste me biwi ko khai me gira duga

Santa-Simla ja rha hu, Raste me biwi ko khai me gira duga
Banta: Meri b leja,Use b gira dena
Santa:Thik h,Agr tu bura na mane to use vapsi me gira du;-)

Take Life Your Way Remember you are born to live. Don’t live because you are born!....

Take Life Your Way Remember you are born to live. Don't live because you are born! Don't go the way life takes you… Take life the way you go!!

Santa kafi tym baad pind gaya, Pind di jamin to miti fad k te sung k bolea,'Pind di miti di ..

Santa kafi tym baad pind gaya, Pind di jamin to miti fad k te sung k
bolea,'Pind di miti di khushbu hi vakhri aa'.Banta:Kanjra dhyan nal
vekh eh sukhi SHIT aa..

$ This puzzl joke can evn dmge ur nervous system:D

$ This puzzl joke can evn dmge ur nervous system

Who is the leadr of ducks?

:-?

Ans. Frog

Y?

Bcoz Frog is

'Mainduck'$

Life mein,ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna.......

Life mein,ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna.

Cream biscuits main cream hota h

par

Tiger biscuits main Tiger nahi hota.Gn:-) Tink tink tiding;-)

Sri Sri: Everywhere you see in this creation, there is divine love.

Sri Sri: Everywhere you see in this creation, there is divine love.
Love is the highest, the greatest and the simplest force.

Beeti huyi zindagi ki kuchh itni si kahani hai..

Beeti huyi zindagi ki kuchh itni si kahani hai..

Beeti huyi zindagi ki kuchh itni si kahani hai..

Kuch hum khud barbaad hue.Kuch ITM ki meharbani hai......

"Middle age is Janus-faced. As we look back on our accomplishments and our failures....

"Middle age is Janus-faced. As we look back on our accomplishments and
our failures to achieve the things we wanted, we look ahead to the
time we have left to us. Our children are gaining life, and our
parents are losing it."
Good morning india

Whenever u r depressed,confused or Hurt Dont worry.Stand in front of d...

Whenever u r depressed,confused or Hurt Dont worry.Stand in front of d
mirror u wil find d best person who wil solve ur prblms.So Trust
urself.Gd.Mrng

Friend.! Who are they ?

Friend.!
Who are they ?
The one who holds ur hand in a crowd, which is against u.
"Tu tension mat le,
Hm sambhal lenge sab"
The one who tap ur back, when u r wrong.
"I knw it,aise ghaple bas tu hi kar sakta hai"
.
The one who do evrything for u, but then refuses to take thanks.
"Ab ye formality ka natak mat kar"
.
The one who msg u, saying
"abey rply to kar
.
The one who make u smile & stop ur tears & hmslf/hrslf start crying.
"Aankh me bhi abhi he kachra girna tha, aur tu band kr ab apna ye radio"

Send dis to all ur friends,even to those who are not in touch or who r
far away from u,like i did..
:-)

Girl : I want a responsible man as a husband. Santa replies : That’s me, whenever anyone is..

Girl : I want a responsible man as a husband.
Santa replies : That's me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my
neighborhood, they say I'm responsible!
So be responsible !!!
Good morning naughty Sunday !

Sri Sri: Wisdom and truth bring faith, not belief. When you...

Sri Sri: Wisdom and truth bring faith, not belief. When you know
something, you have faith. When you don't know, you start believing.

Murli Manohar,Brij ki dharohar,Wo Nandlala Gopala hai,Bansi ki dhun pr sab dukh harne wala hai...

Murli Manohar,Brij ki dharohar,Wo Nandlala Gopala hai,Bansi ki dhun pr
sab dukh harne wala hai,Sab milkar machaye dhum ki Krishna aane wala
hai..Happy janmastmi

A drink decreases 5min of life and a smile increases 10 min of life..Moral

A drink decreases 5min of life and a smile increases 10 min of
life..Moral from this."Ek hansta hua sharabi kabhi nahi marta" So
Cheers :-D

Sri Sri: Weigh your words before you speak them out. They are the pearls...

Sri Sri: Weigh your words before you speak them out. They are the
pearls of your life. Don't throw them; don't lose them for nothing.