Quote on life sms: Written by a 90 year old

"7%"
Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it's all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that you choose.

Its worth reading.

Informative sms: "Paani Peene Ka Sahi Waqt".

"Paani Peene Ka Sahi Waqt".
(1) 1 Glass Subah Uthney Ke Baad,
.....Androoni Aaza ko Activate Karta Hai..
(2) 1 Glass Nahaney Ke Baad,
......Blood Pressure Ka Khatma Karta Hai..
(3) 2 Glass Khaney Se 30 Minute Pehle,
........Hazmey Ko Durust Rakhta Hai..
(4) Aadah Glass Sone Se Pehle,
......Heart Attack Se
Bachata Hai..
Yeh Bahot Achcha Msg Hai Sab group mein Frwd Kar diya Jaye,
Toh Kafi Log fayda Utha Sakte Hai....

Punjabi Tip # 01: punjabi sms

Punjabi Tip # 01
If it isn't a Patiala peg, it isn't a drink!

Punjabi Tip # 02:
When we say Cloney, we don't mean George Clooney. It might mean Defence Cloney!

Punjabi Tip # 03:
A Punjabi wedding without alcohol will always have a drinks-car parked outside!

Punjabi Tip # 04:
If you're Punjabi, you definitely know at least one Sweety, Sunny,
Tony, Jassi or Honey!

Punjabi Tip # 05:
No party is ...complete, till people start dancing & singing to 'saadi
rail gaadi aae'!

Punjabi Tip # 06:
Butter Chicken, Butter Naan and Butter Milk - Three course meal for a Punjabi!

Punjabi Tip # 07:
Tandoori Chicken, the National Bird of Punjab!

Punjabi Tip # 08:
'Oye, Koyi nahi yaar' is our reply to 'Shit Happens'!

Punjabi Tip # 09:
If we use MC / BC more than 5 times in one sentence with you, we
probably love you!

Punjabi Tip # 10:
The only people who proudly call themselves 'Amplifiers' and their
girlfriends 'Woofers'

Punjabi Tip # 11:
5 things Punjabi would have - Bullet (bike), Jutti, Ray Bans, Jeep and Woofers

Punjabi Tip # 12:
It doesn't matter if you are from Andhra Pradesh, Kerala, Tamil Nadu
or Bangalore; we think you're a 'Madarasi'

Punjabi Tip # 13:
You know you're Punjabi when your nickname at home is 'Ullu de Patthe'
or 'Khote de Puttar'

Punjabi Tip # 14:
Canada & UK - Part of Punjab.

Punjabi Tip # 15:
P is for 'Panj Mint' and no matter how near or far a Punjabi is from
you, he always says he'll reach in 'Panj Mint'! (5minutes)

Forward if you are a proud Punjabi
💪😎🍗🍺🍷

Husband wife sms: Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from Room)

(👨) Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from Room) Please Come Fast, I am Having an Argument with My Wife & She Says She will Jump from ur Hotel Window.

(💂) Manager : Sir, I am Sorry, But this is ur Personal Issue.

(👨) Husband : arre Haramkhor ! The Window's not Opening. This is a Maintenance Issue ..😆😝😂

HOLIDAY Theatrical Trailer | Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha

Freshers World	Online radio	Send Sms and quote	Contact US
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Shubh maha shivratri!!!

Rise of Electro (International Video)

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Boy friend girl friend sms: Commited Banda Bechara 😞 Dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta..

Commited Banda Bechara 😞 Dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta....

GF:
I love you baby..

BF (softly) :
I love you too..

GF :
Upset kyun lag rahe ho....??

BF :
Bas thoda mood off tha..

GF:
Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho,
aur mere saath hi drame..

BF (pyar se) :
Aisa kuch nahi jaanu,
tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai..

GF:
Haan abhi dost phone karega to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi..

BF:
Dost kahan se aa gaye,
mera mood thoda upset hai bas..

GF:
Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai,
friends ke saath enjoy karte ho,
badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho.
Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi..??

BF (aur jyada pyar se) :
arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho..?

GF:
Aaj sab clear hoga !!

BF: Kya clear karna hai jaanu,
aisa kya ho gaya..??

GF (khud confused) :
Jab tum khud clear nahi,
tumhe kuch pata nahi to main kya bolun..!!

BF (trying to act smart) :
Tumhe hua kya hai ??
kis baat pe upset ho ??
Batao!!

GF:
Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai !!

BF:
Mere saath to tum ho!!

GF:
Ab bohot ho gaya,
ab aur nahi!!

BF (fully crashed) :
Hua kya hai ?
ye to bata do..

GF:
Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte?..

BF:
Ye baat kahan se aayi?..

GF:
I want Break up..

BF:
Hmmmm OK !!..

GF (gone crazy) :
Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to,
fir tum jo marzi kar sako..

BF:
Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi,
maine kya galat kaha..??

GF:
Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi,
main khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se..

BF (apne baal pakad kar) :
Mujhe meri galti to bata do..

GF:
Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab main chali jaungi..

BF:
Acha, to main wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka..

GF:
Tum serious kab hoge..??

BF:
Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun,
serious hone ke liye?..

GF:
Go to hell..!!

BF:
Dont call me again !!.

AFTER 3 HOURS..

GF:
Tumhe pata hai na,
main tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu,
sorry !!! I love you my baby..

BF (Sab bhool kar) :
Acha, I love you tooo...

GF:To fir Upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!!!
💣🔫🔪🌵🙏

Arz kiya hai shaayri sms

Arz kiya hai
ACP ne laash se poocha 'khoon kisne kiya batao'
Wah wah..
ACP ne laash se poocha' khoon kisne kiya batao'
Laash ne hanskar kaha ' Melody khao khud jaan jao'😂

Bas✋aaj ke liye itna hi...

Kabhi tum gor se dekho aaina

Kabhi tum gor se dekho aaina
Wah wah
Kabhi tum gor se dekho aaina
Khud hi hanskar kahoge
Made in China
Made in China

Kavi ka beta school mein.

Kavi ka beta school mein.
Teacher: what is a noun?
Student: Arz kiya hai..
Kutta bhi Hota hai apni gali mein king
Wah wah
Noun is the name of any Person, Place or Thing

Deadly sher on Superman:

Deadly sher on Superman:
Arz kiya hai...
Ye man bahut hi Super hai
Wah wah..
Ye man bahut hi super hai
Is liye to iski chaddi pant ke upar hai

Killer shayari :

Killer shayari :
1. Arz kiya hai..
LIC wale bhi ghazab dhate hai
Wah wah
LIC wale bhi ghazab dhate hai
Logon ki biwiyon ke paas ghanton baithke
Unke husband ke Marne ke fayde batate hai

Arz hai-shaayri sms

Arz hai-
roz roz weight napkar kya karna hai,
ek din to sabne marna hai
char din ki h zindagi,
kha lo jee bhar ke,
agle janam to phir 3 kilo se hi start karna hai.

For the very first time . . English Shaayari

For the very first time . . English Shaayari
Purely Scientific......
1⃣
When U Breathe, U Respire.
Wah wah
When U Breathe, U Respire !
Wah wah kya baat hai
When u Don't Breathe,
U Expire.
Subhanallah 😅😝😜
😇Maar hi daala...😱😠😴

Gaur farmaaiye 👏

Gaur farmaaiye 👏

Arz Kiya hai-👌
Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?
Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?

Kisi ne kaha-"Aap shayari to shuru kijiye
itne milenge ki aap gin nahi payenge". 😋😝
✔👌✨

DUKHI GHAZAL : shayri sms

DUKHI GHAZAL :

Ek Ajeeb Si Halat Hai Tere Jane Ke Baad ,
Bhuk Hi Nahi Lagti Khana Khane Ke Baad

Mere Paas 8 Samose The, Jo Mene Kha Liye
1 Tere Aane Se Pehle 7 Tere Jane Ke Baad

Neend Hi Nahi Aati Mujhe Sone Ke Baad
Nazar Kuch Nahi Aata Aankhen Band hone Ke Baad

Doctor Se Jo Pucha Iska Elaaj, Dekar 4 Tablets, Bola.
Kha Lena 2 Jagne Se Pehle, 2 sone ke baad...😝😜

Husband wife sms: Wife Taaro Ko

💥💥💥💥💥
Wife Taaro Ko
Dekh Kar Boli:
'Wo Konsi
Cheez Hai,
Jo Tum
Roj Dekh
Sakte Ho,
Par Laa
Nahi Sakte..??

Husband::
Padosan.!!!😜
💃💃💃💃💃

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Husband wife sms: 1 Admi Ki BV Marr Gai.

1 Admi Ki BV Marr Gai.

Dost Usko Chup Karany K Baad:
"Tuje Kuch Chahiye"?

Admi:Laptop La De

Dost:Kiu Sab theek hai na?

Admi:Facebook Pe Status to "Single" kr dun
😂😂😂...

Husband wife sms: A man got a call from unknown

👍
A man got a call from unknown number on Valentines day.
Girl: Hi, r u single?
Man: Yes, but who r u?
Ans: Your wife.. Aaj ghar aana tab bataoongi!!😡

Again a call from an unknown number...
Girl: R u married?
Man: Yes, but who R u?
Girl: Your girlfriend, U cheat!!
Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife.
Ans: Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar aaja😠..

😜😝

Husband wife sms: Research se pata chala hai ki...

Research se pata chala hai ki...

Wife se pyaar se baat karne se
Insaan ki tension kam hoti hai

Heart attack ka khatra 80% kam ho jata hai

Mind 90% time relax rehta hai

Stress level 95% tak normal pe aa jata hai

Bas ek baat ka dhyan rakhen
.
.
.
.
WIFE APNI NA HO..

Quote on life sms: Please read carefully and relate these 10 Commandments with our life....

Please read carefully and relate these 10 Commandments with our life....
you may enjoy more...

That is attitude

1) Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.

2) When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish.Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!

3) Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.

4) Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.

5) Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. That's life.

6) It is not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it's important how well you play with the cards which you hold.

7) Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `Relax dear it's just a bend. Not the end'. Have Faith and have a successful life.

8) When you are sad, try to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit coz liars go to hell.

9) One of the basic differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!

10) Only two types of persons are happy in this world. First is Mad and second is Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy what you have achieved.

If u really enjoyed above 10 rules u may wish to forward it. Do forward it but at the same time save it for your future referance. U may make it a habit of reading this say once in a week. This way slowly u will master the rules and will make your & your near n dears life happy & enjoyable. !!

Husband wife sms: Research se pata chala hai ki...

Research se pata chala hai ki...

Wife se pyaar se baat karne se
Insaan ki tension kam hoti hai

Heart attack ka khatra 80% kam ho jata hai

Mind 90% time relax rehta hai

Stress level 95% tak normal pe aa jata hai

Bas ek baat ka dhyan rakhen
.
.
.
.
WIFE APNI NA HO..

Punjabi sms: Afgani : Hamare registaan mein

😉
Afgani : Hamare registaan mein 'khushamdid' bolo to vapis awaz aati hai ...
amdid...amdid...amdid

Himachali : hamare pahado mein
'i love u'
bolo to vapis awaz ati hai.
love u...love u...love u....

Punjabi:Es vich kedi gal hai sade pind di gali vich awaz maro
'teri bhen di'
te vapas awaz andi hai

'teri Maa di... teri maa di...😂😂😂

Husband wife sms: VARIETY OF MEN......

VARIETY OF MEN......

1. THE EUROPEANS
they have 1 wife and 1 girlfrnd but they love their wife most .

2 THE AMERICANS
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfrnd but they love their girlfrnd the most..

3. THE INDIANS
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfrnds but they love their mother the most..
😜😜😜
Jai mata di....
And the best one. --
4. THE ARABS
They have 4 wives and 1 girlfrnd. But they love their camel the most. 😆

Flirty sms: Ek haathi 🐘ne romantic mood mein

Ek haathi 🐘ne romantic mood mein aakar ek chinti🐜 ko ched diya.
Chinti🐜 gussey mein a k haathi ki biwi🐘 k paas ja k boli..behen apne awara shohar ko samajha lo...varna mard to humare yaha bhi chichore hain..aur bahar tum bhi nikalti ho..

Quote on life sms: Nice line by Javed Akhtar Sahab:

Nice line by Javed Akhtar Sahab:

" लब्ज़ ही ऐसी चीज़ है
जिसकी वजह से इंसान
या तो दिल में उतर जाता है
या दिल से उतर जाता है "

ज़िन्दगी के इस कश्मकश मैं
वैसे तो मैं भी काफ़ी बिजी हुँ ,
लेकिन वक़्त का बहाना बना कर ,
अपनों को भूल जाना मुझे आज भी नहीं आता !

जहाँ यार याद न आए वो तन्हाई किस काम की, बिगड़े रिश्ते न बने तो खुदाई किस काम की, बेशक अपनी मंज़िल तक जाना है ,
पर जहाँ से अपना दोस्त ना दिखे
वो ऊंचाई किस काम की .. 😄

Reply sms: 1 test jo btayega ki apko khane me kya pasand h

1 test jo btayega ki apko khane me kya pasand h

step-wise krte jana

1 se 9 tak koi 1 no. socho
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
soch liya?

Ab 3 se multiply kro

ab usme 3 add kro

fir 3 se multiply kro


ab jo answer aaye uski dono digit ko aapas me jod do

and


chek kro


1.rajma🍛


2.paneer🍚


3.chiken🍗


4.pizza🍕


5.burger🍔


6.gulab jamun🍘


7.chowmein🍜


8.ice cream🍦🍧🍨


9.gobar 💩


kya hua?


Pta nahi kaise kha lete ho?

Chhi....chhi....
:-p
Ab dusra no. Sochke 2bara mt krna 🙈😂 hahaha😂😂😂

Political humor: एअरपोर्ट कहाँ गया,,,

एअरपोर्ट कहाँ गया,,,
फ्लाईओवर कहाँ गया ,,,
मेट्रो कहाँ गई ,,,
का जवाब......
************************
खुशहाल देश का एक "विज्ञापन" ये भी ..
एक महिला पति से :- ऐजी, आप " सुबह सुबह " बैठे
क्यों हो
"सिलेंडर" खत्म हो गया है अलमारी से 200 रूपये ले लो और
जल्दी से एक 'सिलेंडर'' ले आओ और हाँ जाते जाते 80
रुपये
का "लाईट का बिल" भी भरते आना ! वापसी में " स्कूटर "
मे
30 रु का "एक लीटर" पेट्रॊल डलवाना ना भूलना
मेहमान आ रहे है 14 रुपये वाली 'दूध' की दो थैलीयां ले
आना
और हां साथ मे दस रुपये की 2 किलो ''प्याज'' भी लेते
आना ! !!!!!

बेटा पिताजी से :- पापा; ये मॉं को क्या हुआ है ?
पिता मॉं को हिलाते हुए :- जागो भागवान जागो,
तुम भी ना नींद मे कुछ भी बोलती रहती हो ? .....

मॉं आंखे खोलते हुए - उफ़ ये 'महंगाई ये 'भ्रष्टाचार ये
घोटाले
और वो भी सिर्फ़ 'पिछले दस सालों' मे । .....
😜😜😜😜😜

Quote on life sms: खामोश बैठें तो लोग कहते हैं उदासी अच्छी नहीं..........

खामोश बैठें तो लोग कहते हैं उदासी अच्छी नहीं..........

ज़रा सा हँस लें तो मुस्कुराने की वजह पूछ लेते हैं....!!

Husband wife sms: TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::

TWO DIFFICULT THINGS TO ACHIEVE::
1) To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
2) To put someone else's money in your own pocket.

The one who succeeds in the First is called a TEACHER and the one who succeeds in the Second is called a POLITICIAN.

The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE.👍😁
The one who fails in both
is called the HUSBAND 😓😓

Husband wife sms: एक मौलवी साहब तक़रीर कर रहे थे :

एक मौलवी साहब तक़रीर कर रहे थे :
लोगों किसी कि औरतों को मत
देखा करो....
,
इन के बदले तुम्हे जन्नत में हूरें
मिलेंगी हूरें,
,
हूरें भी ऐसी होंगी कि क्या कहू,
,
हूर ऐसी होगी,
ऐसी होगी कि क्या बयान करू,
,
मौलवी साहब थोडा और
जज्बाती हो कर बोले ;
मैं तुम्हे हूर कि क्या मिसाल दूं,
,
अपने बशीर साहब की बीवी को ही देख
लो,
,
कसम खुदा कि हूर है हूर ...

IPL 3 schedule:IPL 3 April to 26 may

IPL 3 April to 26 may
3/4 KKR- DEL 8:00PM
4/4 RBC - MUM 8;00PM
5/4 HYD - PUNE 8:00PM
6/4 DEL - RAJ 4:00PM
6/4 CSK - MUM 8:00PM
7/4 PUNE-PNJ 4:00PM
7/4 HYD - RCB 8:00PM
8/4 RAJ - KKR 8:00PM
9/4 MUM - DEL 8:00PM
10/4 PNJ - CSK 8:00PM
11/4 RCB - KKR 4:00PM
11/4 PUNE - RAJ 8:00PM
12/4 DEL - HYD 8:00PM
13/4 MUM - PUNE 4:00PM
13/4 CSK - RCB 8:00PM
14/4 KKR - HYD 4:00PM
14/4 RAJ - PNJB 8:00PM
15/4 CSK - PUNE 8:00PM
16/4 PNJB - KKR 4:00PM
16/4 RCB - DEL 8:00PM
17/4 PUNE - HYD 4:00PM
17/4 RAH - MUM 8:00PM
18/4 DEL - CSK 8:00PM
19/4 HYD - PNJB 8;00PM
20/4 KKR - CSK 4:00PM
20/4 RCB - RAJ 8:00PM
21/4 DEL - MUM 4:00PM
21/4 PNJB - PUNE 8:00PM
22/4 CSK - RAJ 8:00PM
23/4 RCB - PUNE 4:00PM
23/4 PNJB - DEL 8:00PM
24/4 KKR - MUM 8:00PM
25/4 CSK - HYD 8:00PM
26/4 KKR - PNJB 8:00OM
27/4 RAJ - HYD 4:00PM
27/4 MUM - RCB 8:00PM
28/4 CSK - KKR 4:00PM
28/4 DEL - PUNE 8:00PM
29/4 RAJ - RCB 4:00PM
29/4 MUM - PNJB 8:00PM
30/4 PUNE - CSK 8:00PM
1/5 HYD - MUM 4:00PM
1/5 DEL - KKR 8:00PM
2/5 CSK - PNJB 4:00PM
2/5 PUNE - RCB 8:00PM
3/5 KKR - RAJ 8:00PM
4/5 HYD - DEL 4:00PM
4/5 RCB - PNJB 8:00PM
5/5 MUM - CSK 4:00PM
5/5 RAJ -PUNE 8:00PM
6/5 RCB - HYD 8:00PM
7/5 RAJ - DEL 4:00PM
7/5 MUM - KKR 8:00PM
8/5 HYD - CSK 8:00PM
9/5 PNJB - RAJ 4:00PM
9/5 PUNE - KKR 8:00PM
10/5 DEL - RCB 8:00PM
11/5 PUNE - MUM 4:00PM
11/5 PNJB - HYD 8:00PM
12/5 KKR - RCB 4:00PM
12/5 RAJ - CSK 8:00PM
13/5 DEL - PNJB 4:00PM
13/5 MUM - HYD 8:00PM
14/5 KKR - PUNE 8:00PM
15/5 MUM - RAJ 8:00PM
16/5 CSK - DEL 4:00PM
16/5 PNJB - RCB 8:00PM
17/5 HYD - RAJ 8:00PM
18/5 PNJB - MUM 4:00PM
18/5 PUNE - DEL 8:00PM
19/5 RCB - CSK 8:00
21/5 QF 1(1st - 2nd) 8:00pm
22/5 elm (3rd -4th)
24/5 qf2 8:00pm
26/5 IPL FINAL 8:00PM

i bet issie pehle kisi k pass ni aaya hoga just 5 min pehle announce hua...

Husband wife sms: WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started.
*************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started.
***************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started.
***************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.
***************************

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.
***************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for 300 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..
And then the fight started
************************
Mayawati ka Balatkaar ho gaya.
Haso mat.. Joke aage hai..
Manmohan asks Doctor: Uski tabiyat kaisi hai.
Doctor: Hum Oxygen mask laga kr unke chehre ki khushi ko chupane ki koshish kr rahe hai...

Santa banta sms: This 1 is a killer 1 .....

This 1 is a killer 1 .....
Teacher- beta batao britannia tiger biscuit pe jo green dot h uska matlab kya h.?
Student- iska matlab ki tiger online hai.😂
😍

Santa banta sms: Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Santa banta sms: Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo.

Santa banta sms: 1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi

1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi
Santa ne Window se Dekha
Socho Santa kya bola hoga?

Sirf latkne se height nhi bdhegi mumy ko bolo COMPLAN pilaye.
😉☺😊😀😃😄

Santa banta sms: Santa Sharab pite pite

Santa Sharab pite pite
Rone Laga...
Banta: Kya hua Ro Q
Rahe Ho?
Santa: Yaar Jis Ladki ko
Bhulane ke Liye Pi raha
thaUska Naam Yaad
Nahi Aa Raha..

Shayri sms: Galatiyon Se Juda Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi,

Galatiyon Se Juda Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi,
Dono Insaan hain, Khuda Tu Bhi
Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi ... !

" Tu Mujhe or Mai Tujhe Ilzaam Dete Hain Magar,
Apne Andar Jhankta Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi " ... !!

" Galat Fahmiyon Ne Kar Di Dono Mai Paida Dooriyan,
Warna Fitrat Ka Bura Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi " ... !!!

Apne Apne Raston Pe Dono Ka Safar Jaari Raha,
Ek Lamhe Ko Ruka Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi ... !!!!

" Chahte Dono Bohut Ek Doosre Ko Hain Magar,
Ye Haqiqat Maanta Tu Bhi Nahi, Mai Bhi Nahi " ... !!!! 😊

Sharabi sms: कौन कहता है के मुसाफिर ज़ख़्मी नहीं होते,

कौन कहता है के मुसाफिर ज़ख़्मी नहीं होते,
रास्ते गवाह है, बस कमबख्त गवाही नहीं देते ।।
-----
फिर आज निकलीहै वो बे-नक़ाब शहर में,
फिर आज भीड़ होगी कफ़न की दुकान मे

-----
हक़ से दे तो तेरी "नफरत" भी सर आँखों पर...
खैरात में तो तेरी "मोहब्बत" भी मंजूर नहीं...
------
Teri mahobbat ke pyase the is liye haath faila diye,
Varna hum to apni zindagi ke liye bhi dua nahi mangte.
-----
Unhe chaat pe jane se mana kar diya hum ne,
Be wajah saher me eid ki tarik badal jati hai ...
-----
Kaash teri yado ka khazana bech pate hum,
Aaj hamari bhi ginti amiro me hoti -----

Ek Nafrat hi hai jise duniya chand Lamhon me jaan Leti hai,,,,
Warna Chahat ka yakeen Dilane me to Zindagi Beet jaati hai...
-----
दुनिया का उसूल हैं,

जब तक तेरा काम हैं,

तब तक तेरा नाम हैं

वरना सिर्फ दूर से सलाम हैं...
-----
खुबसूरत क्या कह दिया उनको, के वो हमको छोड़कर शीशे के हो गए,,
तराशा नहीं था तो पत्थर थे, तराश दिया तो खुदा हो गए.!!!!!
-----
सुनकर
ज़माने की बातें,
तू अपनी अदा मत बदल..

यकीं रख
अपने खुदा पर,
यूँ बार बार खुदा मत बदल...
----
धूल हालात को हर बार चटायी मैंने...
मुकद्दर
तो नहीं पर ज़िगर जरुर रखता हूँ |
----
बेवजह मन पे कोई बोझ ना भारी रखिए,.
जिन्दगी जंग है ईस जंग को जारी रखिए।।
-----
क्यों याद करेगा कोई बेवजह मुझे अये खुदा ,
लोग तो बेवजह तुम्हे भी याद नहीं करते !!"
----

इतना आसान नहीं है गुमशुदा मोहब्बत का पता ...
खुद भटकते हैं यहाँ राह बताने वाले .
and here's the best one...
हर शख्स मुझे ज़िन्दगी जीने का तरीका बताता है..
उन्हें कैसे समझाऊ कि एक " ख्वाब " अधूरा है मेरा..
वरना जीना तो मुझे भी आता है.

Naughty sms: WIFE: JAANU, Aaj Tumhari Girlfriend Night Stay Karne Aaa Rahi hai.

WIFE: JAANU, Aaj Tumhari Girlfriend Night Stay Karne Aaa Rahi hai.

Maine Fridge mein Beer & fresh Fruit Salad banake rakha hai.

Room freshner side table par hai, Nahanay Ka Soap With Lime Fragrance or Towel Bhi Rakha Hai.

Main Baccho Ko Leker Mummy Ke Yaha Jaa Rahi Hoon, Kal Sham Tak Aajaungi, Program Mein Koi Change Ho To Inform Kar Dena, mein Wahin aur Ruk Jaungi!


Isko kehete hai









MUNGERILAL ke haseen sapne!

Khatarnak insult..

Khatarnak insult..
GiRL to boy-
main kaisi lag rahi hu aaj??
Abhi beauty parlour se aayi hu..
.
.
Boy- toh??
Bandh tha kya ?? 😁😜😂
😱😛

Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Jamadar bola : 20 rs.

Santa -: Saale Bathroom mai baithta tha
CYBER CAFE main nahi..!
😊😀😃😄😁

Santa banta sms:

☺😊😀😃😄😁

Doctor To Santa:
Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi
Hai..
.
Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya
Phir Aansu Ponchte
Huwe
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kitne Number Se ??
😨😳😁😁😀😃😄

Teacher To Santa-

Teacher To Santa-
Isko Hindi mei translate karo
She is kidding
Santa hasne lga or table par hi
gir gya or bola.
.
.
.itna asan

WOH BACHE DE RAHI HAI

Santa to Banta:

Santa to Banta:
Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo
seedha teri
bhabi ke dil per lage .
.
... .
. .
... .

Banta: Goli mar de
🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Sardar sms: Sardar ka interview: Batao wo kaun si Aurat hain jisko 1OO% pata

Utimate Hit!!

Sardar ka interview: Batao wo kaun si Aurat hain jisko 1OO% pata hota hain ki uska Husband kaha
hain?
Sardar ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya or bola
.
"Vidhwa Aurat....😜😃😝

Husband wife sms: Santa: My wife died yesterday..Im trying to cry but tears

😎... Santa: My wife died yesterday..Im trying to cry but tears are not coming, what to do?
Banta: Imagine she is Back...


😎Ladki ko ladka dekhne aya
Thodi der chup bethne k bad bola: English handle kar leti ho?
Ladki (sharmate hue): namkeen sath ho to desi bhi handle kar leti hu.🍺🍻


😎Bahen ki vidai per chota bhai bola:
Papa! Didi ro rahi Hain but
'JiJu to nahi ro rahay?
Papa:
Beta! Didi Gate tak royegi,
Jiju Qabar tak royga...😜
😆
The killer one...

Wife: Sunoji Ladka bahut paise udaane laga hai.😳 Jahan bhi chupati hoon, dhoondh leta hai😡
Husband: uski book me rakh de,😡 exam tak nahi dhundh payega.😳😜😉...take it easy

Sharabi sms: Teacher ne Gadhe ke samne 1 Daaru ki aur 1 Pani ki Balti rakhi,

Teacher ne Gadhe ke samne 1 Daaru ki aur 1 Pani ki Balti rakhi,

Gadha Pani pi gaya.

Teacher: Tumne iss se kya Sikha?

Student: Jo Daaru nahi pita Woh Gadha hota hai.
Cheers🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨❕❕

Quote on life sms: Old man has 8 hair on his head.

Old man has 8 hair on his head.
He went to Barber shop.
Barber in anger asked:
shall i cut or count ?
Old man smiled and said:
"Colour it!"
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling😄
❕

Husband wife sms: मछली जल कि रानी है -:-

मछली जल कि रानी है -:-
इसका नया वर्जन ..

पत्नी घर की रानी है ,
करती अपनी मनमानी है ,
काम बताओ तो चिढ़ जाएगी ,
शौपिंग कराओ तो खिल जायेगी

😝😝😝

Informative sms: If you see the moon ..... You see the beauty of God .....

If you see the moon ..... You see the beauty of God ..... If you see the Sun ..... You see the power of God ..... And .... If you see the Mirror ..... You see the best Creation of GOD .... So Believe in YOURSELF..... :) :) :).
We all are tourists & God is our travel agent who
already fixed all our Routes Reservations & Destinations
So!
Trust him & Enjoy the "Trip" called LIFE...
Our aim in life should be
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

🔹9-glass drinking water. 🍸🍹
🔹8-hrs sound sleep. 😴😴
🔹7-wonders tour with family. 👪
🔹6-six digit income.💰💰
🔹5-days work a week
🔹4-wheeler. 🚗
🔹3-bedroom flat 💒j
🔹2-cute children. 👫
🔹1-sweetheart. 🙋
🔹0-tension! 👍
Yhe jindgi na milegi dubara 😄😀😜😗😙😃😘
👍👌💯✅

send to all friends who are important to you...

👏💃💐🙏🌹

Sharabi sms: 10 REASONS WHY LIQUOR SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK

10 REASONS WHY LIQUOR SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK:

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It leads to more honest communications.

3. It reduces complaints about low pay.

4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.

5. It encourages car pooling.

6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

8. It makes fellow employees look better (Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder!)

9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are drunk....

Awesome...

Husband wife sms: 👩WIFE : You have known me since before we got married.

👩WIFE : You have known me since before we got married. What changes do u see in me ?

👨HUBBY: Before we were married you were a "Chic"...

👩Wife : And now ?

👨Hubby : Chic chic, chic chic, chic chic .......'

😂😭😂😭😂😭

Sharabi sms: Outside a Bar, a NUN preaches: Drinking is Bad.

Outside a Bar, a NUN preaches: Drinking is Bad.
Man: Have you tried it?
Nun: No, Never.
Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll give up Drinking.
Nun: Ok, but bring it in Tea cup, I don't want people seeing me drinking.

Man goes to the bartender and says: Give me two Shots of Rum in Tea-Cups...

Bartender- IS THAT NUN HERE Again??😜😜😜🍻

Titanic humor: A very black Negro died & went to heaven.

A very black Negro died & went to heaven.

Angel: Who are you..??

Negro to impress her: I am hero of Titanic.

Angel gets confused & asks a friend: Abey Titanic duba tha ki jala tha..??

😂😂😀

Funny sms: Bihar school Teacher's killer English:

Bihar school Teacher's killer English:
1. Pick up the paper n fall in the dust-bin !
2. Both of you three .. stand together separately !
3. Will u hang that calendar or I'll "HANG MYSELF!"
4. Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father !
5. Why are you looking at the monkey outside when I am in the class...?
6. I have TWO daughters: both are girls.
7. Stand in the middle of the corner !
8. The boy behind the last boy, please stand up...!! 😂😂😂🙌

Double meaning sms : Wo konsi Situation Hai.. Jisme Mard 15 Minute Me Thak Jata Hai....

Wo konsi Situation Hai..
Jisme Mard 15 Minute Me Thak Jata Hai....
Or
Aurat Chahti Hai ki wo karta
Rahe......?
. .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
SHOPPING. Magar Apki soch ko salam.

Husband wife sms: If Flipkart starts matrimonial

If Flipkart starts matrimonial services...
they will become the No.1 site in the world....................
Because they have the 30 day return policy.. ! 😜

Valentine humor: If you don't have a Valentine

😜😜😜
If you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's day; don't be sad.
💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

....

....

.....

......

Most people don't have Aids on World Aids day as well😝😝😝😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😛😛😛😛🎈🎈🎈🎈

Informative sms: कौन ज्यादा कीमती ??

कौन ज्यादा कीमती ??
=======================
एक बहुत छोटी सी बच्ची ने अपनी मम्मी से पूछा - "क्या आप कभी अपना रुपयों से भरा पर्स नौकरानी के पास छोड सकती हैं" ??
मम्मी ने लिपस्टिक लगाते हुए बोला - पर्स और नौकरानी के पास !! बिल्कुल नही !! मतलब ही नही !! सवाल ही नही !!
फिर बच्ची ने बहुत मासूमियत से पूछा, " फिर "मुझे" नौकरानी के पास कैसे छोड सकती हो ??

London | Money Aujla Feat. Nesdi Jones & Yo Yo Honey Singh | Full Offici...

SMS Collection	Online radio	Send Sms and quote	Contact US
Quote collection	Funny Pics	Funny Clips	About Us!

Boy friend girl friend sms: Ek baar ek couple train me safar kar

Ek baar ek couple train me safar kar Raha tha. Girl: Oh ! Mera sir dukh Raha hai..Boy romantically kiss on her forehead & ask:- Ab kaisa lag Raha hai...! Girl: much better.After some time....Girl: Mera shoulder Bahut dukh Raha hai.Boy romantically kiss on her shoulder & asks:- Ab kaisa lag Raha hai.. ? Girl: Very nice.. Tumhari kiss me to jaadu hai !!1 old man who was sitting opposite and watching all this, he got up from his seat and politely asked the boy :..Beta, PILES ka bhi ilaaj karte ho kya ???? 😋😋😂😂😋😋😔😔😳😧

Funny Valentine Day Quote:

Valentine Day Quote:
"Jidhar Apna Crush Hai,Saala.... Udhar Pehle Se Hi Rush Hai"😝😜😛😃😄..💔❤💔❤😝😜😉

Aloknath funny sms: This one is ultimate n should end all the debate n jokes once for a

This one is ultimate n should end all the debate n jokes once for all.......
Once Alok Nath was returning from Kanyadaan ceremony in a BEST bus..
As he was too tired to stand, he looked for seat but didn't got any.. However he got one with the help of a bus conductor.
Alok gave ASHIRVAAD to him, today we know that conductor as RAJNIKANT..

Aloknath funny sms :

This one is ultimate n should end all the debate n jokes once for all.......
Once Alok Nath was returning from Kanyadaan ceremony in a BEST bus..
As he was too tired to stand, he looked for seat but didn't got any.. However he got one with the help of a bus conductor.
Alok gave ASHIRVAAD to him, today we know that conductor as RAJNIKANT..

Shayri sms: कौन कहता है के मुसाफिर ज़ख़्मी नहीं होते,

कौन कहता है के मुसाफिर ज़ख़्मी नहीं होते,
रास्ते गवाह है, बस कमबख्त गवाही नहीं देते ।।



फिर आज निकलीहै वो बे-नक़ाब शहर में,
फिर आज भीड़ होगी कफ़न की दुकान मे



हक़ से दे तो तेरी "नफरत" भी सर आँखों पर...
खैरात में तो तेरी "मोहब्बत" भी मंजूर नहीं...

Husband wife sms: Teacher sent home a note- Sincere & bright boy but spends too much time with girls

Teacher sent home a note-
Sincere & bright boy but spends too much time with girls

Mother sent a note back-
Please advise solution, Father has same problem...😈💃😜👍

Office office sms: Boss: kaha Gaye the😡 ?

Boss: kaha Gaye the😡 ?

Employee: Baal katwane👹.....!!

Boss: Nalayak😾.... office hours me😠 ?

Employee: Baal badhe bhi to office hours me hee hai...😳

Boss: ghar me bhi to badhte hai😤😠

Employee: to poore thode hee katwaye hai
😜😛😁😁😝😝😆😆😂😂.

Serial humor: That epic moment when SUNNY LEONE comes inCOMEDY NIGHT WITH KAPIL

That epic moment when SUNNY LEONE comes inCOMEDY NIGHT WITH KAPIL and audience say:"Ji main aapka bahut bada fan hun.. saari movies dekhi hai aapki. Aapke saath aapki movie ka ek step karna chahta hu"

n siddhu says guru: har pila fruit aam nhi hota... glass me mut ke piyo to vo jam nhi hota... har sita ka pati ram nhi hota... thodi jeb dhili karo or uthao hotel ka kharcha... kyunki ye vo step h jo khule aam nhi hota...
thoko thoko... taali👍👍

Patriotism sms : दोस्तों पूरा पढना, धांसू मटेरियल है।

👌दोस्तों पूरा पढना, धांसू मटेरियल है।

"कोर्ट मार्शल"

आर्मी कोर्ट रूम में आज एक
केस अनोखा अड़ा था
छाती तान अफसरों के आगे
फौजी बलवान खड़ा था

बिन हुक्म बलवान तूने ये
कदम कैसे उठा लिया
किससे पूछ उस रात तू
दुश्मन की सीमा में जा लिया

बलवान बोला सर जी! ये बताओ
कि वो किस से पूछ के आये थे
सोये फौजियों के सिर काटने का
फरमान कोन से बाप से लाये थे

बलवान का जवाब में सवाल दागना
अफसरों को पसंद नही आया
और बीच वाले अफसर ने लिखने
के लिए जल्दी से पेन उठाया

एक बोला बलवान हमें ऊपर
जवाब देना है और तेरे काटे हुए
सिर का पूरा हिसाब देना है

तेरी इस करतूत ने हमारी नाक कटवा दी
अंतरास्ट्रीय बिरादरी में तूने थू थू करवा दी

बलवान खून का कड़वा घूंट पी के रह गया
आँख में आया आंसू भीतर को ही बह गया

बोला साहब जी! अगर कोई
आपकी माँ की इज्जत लूटता हो
आपकी बहन बेटी या पत्नी को
सरेआम मारता कूटता हो

तो आप पहले अपने बाप का
हुकमनामा लाओगे ?
या फिर अपने घर की लुटती
इज्जत खुद बचाओगे?

अफसर नीचे झाँकने लगा
एक ही जगह पर ताकने लगा

बलवान बोला साहब जी गाँव का
ग्वार हूँ बस इतना जानता हूँ
कौन कहाँ है देश का दुश्मन सरहद
पे खड़ा खड़ा पहचानता हूँ

सीधा सा आदमी हूँ साहब !
मै कोई आंधी नहीं हूँ
थप्पड़ खा गाल आगे कर दूँ
मै वो गांधी नहीं हूँ

अगर सरहद पे खड़े होकर गोली
न चलाने की मुनादी है
तो फिर साहब जी ! माफ़ करना
ये काहे की आजादी है

सुनों साहब जी ! सरहद पे
जब जब भी छिड़ी लडाई है
भारत माँ दुश्मन से नही आप
जैसों से हारती आई है

वोटों की राजनीति साहब जी
लोकतंत्र का मैल है
और भारतीय सेना इस राजनीति
की रखैल है

ये क्या हुकम देंगे हमें जो
खुद ही भिखारी हैं
किन्नर है सारे के सारे न कोई
नर है न नारी है

ज्यादा कुछ कहूँ तो साहब जी
दोनों हाथ जोड़ के माफ़ी है
दुश्मन का पेशाब निकालने को
तो हमारी आँख ही काफी है

और साहब जी एक बात बताओ
वर्तमान से थोडा सा पीछे जाओ

कारगिल में जब मैंने अपना पंजाब
वाला यार जसवंत खोया था
आप गवाह हो साहब जी उस वक्त
मै बिल्कुल भी नहीं रोया था

खुद उसके शरीर को उसके गाँव
जाकर मै उतार कर आया था
उसके दोनों बच्चों के सिर साहब जी
मै पुचकार कर आया था

पर उस दिन रोया मै जब उसकी
घरवाली होंसला छोड़ती दिखी
और लघु सचिवालय में वो चपरासी
के हाथ पांव जोड़ती दिखी

आग लग गयी साहब जी दिल
किया कि सबके छक्के छुड़ा दूँ
चपरासी और उस चरित्रहीन
अफसर को मै गोली से उड़ा दूँ

एक लाख की आस में भाभी
आज भी धक्के खाती है
दो मासूमो की चमड़ी धूप में
यूँही झुलसी जाती है

और साहब जी ! शहीद जोगिन्दर
को तो नहीं भूले होंगे आप
घर में जवान बहन थी जिसकी
और अँधा था जिसका बाप

अब बाप हर रोज लड़की को
कमरे में बंद करके आता है
और स्टेशन पर एक रूपये के
लिए जोर से चिल्लाता है

पता नही कितने जोगिन्दर जसवंत
यूँ अपनी जान गवांते हैं
और उनके परिजन मासूम बच्चे
यूँ दर दर की ठोकरें खाते हैं..

भरे गले से तीसरा अफसर बोला
बात को और ज्यादा न बढाओ
उस रात क्या- क्या हुआ था बस
यही अपनी सफाई में बताओ

भरी आँखों से हँसते हुए बलवान
बोलने लगा
उसका हर बोल सबके कलेजों
को छोलने लगा

साहब जी ! उस हमले की रात
हमने सन्देश भेजे लगातार सात

हर बार की तरह कोई जवाब नही आया
दो जवान मारे गए पर कोई हिसाब नही आया

चौंकी पे जमे जवान लगातार
गोलीबारी में मारे जा रहे थे
और हम दुश्मन से नहीं अपने
हेडक्वार्टर से हारे जा रहे थे

फिर दुश्मन के हाथ में कटार देख
मेरा सिर चकरा गया
गुरमेल का कटा हुआ सिर जब
दुश्मन के हाथ में आ गया

फेंक दिया ट्रांसमीटर मैंने और
कुछ भी सूझ नहीं आई थी
बिन आदेश के पहली मर्तबा सर !
मैंने बन्दूक उठाई थी

गुरमेल का सिर लिए दुश्मन
रेखा पार कर गया
पीछे पीछे मै भी अपने पांव
उसकी धरती पे धर गया

पर वापिस हार का मुँह देख के
न आया हूँ
वो एक काट कर ले गए थे
मै दो काटकर लाया हूँ

इस ब्यान का कोर्ट में न जाने
कैसा असर गया
पूरे ही कमरे में एक सन्नाटा
सा पसर गया

पूरे का पूरा माहौल बस एक ही
सवाल में खो रहा था
कि कोर्ट मार्शल फौजी का था
या पूरे देश का हो रहा था ?

Doston, Agar Pasand
Aaye Toh Plzzz Ek Baar...

Jai Hind bolo

Quote on life sms: Nice line by Javed Akhtar Sahab:

Nice line by Javed Akhtar Sahab:

" लब्ज़ ही ऐसी चीज़ है
जिसकी वजह से इंसान
या तो दिल में उतर जाता है
या दिल से उतर जाता है "

ज़िन्दगी के इस कश्मकश मैं
वैसे तो मैं भी काफ़ी बिजी हुँ ,
लेकिन वक़्त का बहाना बना कर ,
अपनों को भूल जाना मुझे आज भी नहीं आता !

जहाँ यार याद न आए वो तन्हाई किस काम की, बिगड़े रिश्ते न बने तो खुदाई किस काम की, बेशक अपनी मंज़िल तक जाना है ,
पर जहाँ से अपना दोस्त ना दिखे
वो ऊंचाई किस काम की ..

Husband wife sms:

📍1. मांग भरने की सजा कुछ इस कदर पा रहा हूँ
की मांग पूरी करते-करते, अब मांग-मांग के खा रहा हूँ...!!!
*****************************
📍2. पापा: बेटी, बड़ी हो के क्या करोगी?
बेटी: शादी...
पापा: गलत बात है... अभी से किसी का बुरा नहीं सोचते...!
*****************************
📍3. पति ने पान खरीद के पत्नी को खाने के लिए दिया.
पत्नी: अरे... आप ने तो अपने लिए लिया ही नहीं..!
पति: में तो ऐसे ही खामोश रह सकता हूँ...!
*****************************
📍4. बीवी क्या होती है?
बीवी भगवन के प्रसाद जैसे होती है,
जिसमे चाहते हुए भी कोई नुक्स नहीं निकाल सकते;
श्रद्धा और मज़बूरी के साथ चुपचाप खाए जाओ...!
*****************************
📍5. पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पुरुषो को अप्सराए
मिलती है.. औरतो को क्या मिलता है?
पति: कुछ नहीं; उपरवाला सिर्फ दुखी लोगो की ही सुनता है..!
*****************************
📍6. पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पति-पत्नी को साथ में रहेने
नहीं देते...
पति: पगली, तभी तो उसे स्वर्ग कहेते है.!
*****************************
📍7. मतदान करने के लिए उम्र 18 साल, और शादी के लिए
21 साल... ऐसा क्यू?
क्यू की, सरकार जानती है, की
बीवी संभालना, वो मुल्क सँभालने ज्यादा मुश्किल है...!
*****************************
📍8. FRIEND is- Asian Paints = जो दुनिया बदल दे...
GIRLFRIEND is- Everest Masala = जो टेस्ट में बेस्ट...
WIFE is-- Mosquito Coil = जो कोने-कोने से ढूंढ के मारे !
*****************************
📍9. ज़िन्दगी के शुरुआत "S" से होती है:
S से सूरज, सुबह, शाम, समय,....
उसके बाद: S से सगाई, शादी, फिर सांस, ससुर, साला, साली,
और फिर सत्यiनाश...!
*****************************
📍10. पति: डार्लिंग, तुम खूबसूरत होती जा रही हो...
पत्नी (खुश हो कर, रसोईघर में से): तुमने कैसे जाना?y
पति: तुम्हे देख कर रोटियां भी जलने लगी है...
*****************************
📍11. किसी को उसके फटे हुए जूते, मैले कपडे, पुरानी घडी,
उतरा हुआ मुंह,.... इत्यादि चीजो से उसे गरीब ना मानो....
हो सकता है, की वो आदमी शादीशुदा हो.

Punjabi sms:Arz kita hai ...

Arz kita hai ...
Har anaar vich pattaaka nhi hunda...
Har anaar vich pattaaka nhi hunda...
Oh ik jaffi ta pa la sohniye ..jaffi paan naal kaka ni hunda...😜😜

Naughty sms: Delhi metro confessions page on FB:

Delhi metro confessions page on FB:-

"I boarded the metro from rajiv chowk and while I was standing in the line
I started staring a pretty girl.
She was wearing a black t-shirt and smiled back at me.
Then I skipped 2-3 queues to be near her so that I could board the compartment next to the women's coach.
To my utter surprise,
she chose to stand next to me in between the passage which connects the women's compartment and the very next compartment.
Though we didn't talk but got a high on as due to heavy crowd we kind of touched each other👫 .
And then,
when I de-boarded the metro
I never found my Samsung Note 2 in my pocket !
I called at my number and it rang !
A girl picked up and laughed 😁!
and till now no trace of my phone!

#Chorni..!!!
Burn in hell..!

& the funniest part was the
First comment which has 600 likes:-

"TOUCH ke badle TOUCHSCREEN le gayi" 😂😂😂😂😂

Husband wife sms: Nurse to patient with bleeding head:

Nurse to patient with bleeding head: your name? Patient: Pappu Singh.


Nurse: age? Patient: 25 years.


Nurse: married? Patient : no no, car accident !!

Sharabi sms: Awesome line 👌

Awesome line 👌:

"Alcohol is just water.... with feelings in it"

😉😝👍🍸🍸

Friendship sms: Feb 7: Rose Day ___ Rs.20 (Red Rose)

Feb 7: Rose Day ___ Rs.20 (Red Rose)
.
Feb 8: Propose Day ___ Rs.100
(Card + Ice Cream)
.
Feb 9: Chocolate Day ___ Rs.250
(Cant give a low price chocolate)
.
Feb 10: Teddy Day ___ Rs.700
(That s the lowest price)
.
Feb 11: Promise Day ___ Rs.130
(Again,few food expenses )
.
Feb 12: Hug Day ___ Rs.250
(You have to hug after applying a
DEO)
.
Feb 13: Kiss Day ___ Rs.150
(SPRAY MINT before kissing) .
.
Feb 14: Valentine Day ___ Rs. 2000
(You cant handle lesser than this
amount)
.
CONGRATULATIONS-SINGLES,,,
You are going to Save Nearly Rs.3600 in a Week

Quote on life sms: The Irony of Life is.....

The Irony of Life is.....

Airports have seen more Affectionate Kisses
than Wedding Halls..

The Walls of Hospitals have heard more Sincere Prayers
than the Walls of Temples,
Masjid and churches..

Good Days or Bad Days Depend on ur Thinking. What u Call "Suffocation" in Local Train Becomes an
"Atmosphere" in Disco.

Pizza....always confuses us ... it comes in a square box ... when you open it ... it's round ... when you start eating it ... it's triangle !
Life & People are also like Pizza ... Look different .. Appear different .. & .. Behave absolutely different

Fact of life:

5 Apple : Rs. 60
Apple 5 : Rs. 60,000

POSITION matters.. :)