๐maine poocha chand se ki dekha hai kahin, mere yaar sa haseen!!
๐Chand ne kaha-
Dekho..,
pehli baat to yeh ki mein tere baap ka naukar nahi hu.๐
Dusri baat yeh ki itni upar se Kuch dikhai nahi deta..๐
Aur teesri baat yeh ki yeh nautanki tum log zameen tak hi rakho,
mere ko isme involve mat karo ๐
๐๐๐
♣♠♣♠♣♠♣♠
♠♣♠♣♠♣♠♣
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Husband wife sms: Husband.Jaan socha call kr lun, tum miss to kr rai hogi? Wife: Or subah jo larai
Husband.Jaan socha call kr lun, tum miss to kr rai hogi?
Wife: Or subah jo larai hui thi wo kya tha?
..
..
..
..
Husband:
Oh fittay mun, ghar da number mil gya! ๐
๐ Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.
I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'
I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : 'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free'...
๐๐๐๐๐๐
Wife: Or subah jo larai hui thi wo kya tha?
..
..
..
..
Husband:
Oh fittay mun, ghar da number mil gya! ๐
๐ Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.
I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'
I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : 'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free'...
๐๐๐๐๐๐
Talaash Karo Ek Rooh Ki Jo Tumhare Dil Se Pyaar Kare, .
๐๐ "Talaash Karo Ek Rooh Ki Jo Tumhare Dil Se Pyaar Kare,
.
Warna,
.
Jism To Paiso Se Bhi Mil Jaaya Karte Hain!" ๐๐
.
Warna,
.
Jism To Paiso Se Bhi Mil Jaaya Karte Hain!" ๐๐
KBC... Interesting Must read....
KBC... Interesting Must read....
You all know KBC is Good Business. But have you ever pondered how well?????
Any guesses?????
Let's see...
Airtel is charging Rs.6 per SMS sent for this contest. Assuming there are only 100 entries from say 10 cities of some 20 districts and 20 states...
6 (Rs. per SMS) x 100 (entries) x 10 (cities) x 20 (districts) x 20 (states) i.e. = 6 x 100 x 10 x 20 x 20 = Rs.24,00,000.
Rs.24 lakh in just 20 minutes (from people trying for the Rs.2 lakh cash prize). Imagine the scenario if 1000 entries try out from 100 cities?
The figure simply grows by 2 more zeroes and yields a whopping Rs.24 crore!!!!!
And it does not stop there. In practice, it could be another multiple of 100 or a multiple of 1000 on an average. In that case, it is 24 x 100 crore earnings in just 20 minutes on every episode!!!
And the prize money: A mere Rs.2 crore!!!!! (and from whose pocket?????)
Smart Business By Siddharth Basu! And the best part of the above calculation is just the SMS earning!!!!! What about the Ad money?????
A rough annual profit calculation goes like this:
(2400 x 5 x 4) (episode/month) x 12 = Rs.5,76,000 crore.
Let even 50% get dissolved in taxes and other payments; still, you will be left with (which includes
even the meagre Rs.480 crore of prize money, i.e., if every episode bags Rs.2 crore prize) –Rs.2,88,000 crore profit!!!!! (Only from SMS).
Therefore, a Very Simple Question: "KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI" and your options are...
A) SONY TV
B) AIRTEL
C) AMITABH BACHHAN
D) SIDDHARTH BASU
Computerji, iska jawab bataiye....
Answer: All FOUR..!!!!
You all know KBC is Good Business. But have you ever pondered how well?????
Any guesses?????
Let's see...
Airtel is charging Rs.6 per SMS sent for this contest. Assuming there are only 100 entries from say 10 cities of some 20 districts and 20 states...
6 (Rs. per SMS) x 100 (entries) x 10 (cities) x 20 (districts) x 20 (states) i.e. = 6 x 100 x 10 x 20 x 20 = Rs.24,00,000.
Rs.24 lakh in just 20 minutes (from people trying for the Rs.2 lakh cash prize). Imagine the scenario if 1000 entries try out from 100 cities?
The figure simply grows by 2 more zeroes and yields a whopping Rs.24 crore!!!!!
And it does not stop there. In practice, it could be another multiple of 100 or a multiple of 1000 on an average. In that case, it is 24 x 100 crore earnings in just 20 minutes on every episode!!!
And the prize money: A mere Rs.2 crore!!!!! (and from whose pocket?????)
Smart Business By Siddharth Basu! And the best part of the above calculation is just the SMS earning!!!!! What about the Ad money?????
A rough annual profit calculation goes like this:
(2400 x 5 x 4) (episode/month) x 12 = Rs.5,76,000 crore.
Let even 50% get dissolved in taxes and other payments; still, you will be left with (which includes
even the meagre Rs.480 crore of prize money, i.e., if every episode bags Rs.2 crore prize) –Rs.2,88,000 crore profit!!!!! (Only from SMS).
Therefore, a Very Simple Question: "KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI" and your options are...
A) SONY TV
B) AIRTEL
C) AMITABH BACHHAN
D) SIDDHARTH BASU
Computerji, iska jawab bataiye....
Answer: All FOUR..!!!!
Funny Facts About Engineers
Find it urself
Funny Facts About Engineers
1. For engineers every course apart from engineering is easy.
2. An engineer learns to power of getting up at 9.25 am and reaching in the class at 9.30 am.
3. T-shirt and jeans are engineers national dress and maggie national food.
4. A normal person will fix the broken things but an engineer will first brake that thing and than he would fix it. This is his lab work you don't have nay right to disturb him.
5. An engineer can build a car, space ship and they even can make time machine. However they just can't build a relationship with a girl.
6. An engineer don't care for the rise in rate of petrol or gold but they get mad when cigarette costs Rs.7 instead of Rs. 6.50
7. An engineer loves to solve a problem. If there is no problem than they will create one and would start solving it.
8. An engineer touches his car and phone more than his girl, if he have.
9. An engineer can have Dr. title but a doctor can't have Er. title.
10. An engineer can derive any relation just give them the final expression.
11. Are you made of copper(CU) and tellurium(TE), because you're CUTE. This is how Engineers flirt.
12. Non engineers have great mind, genius mind , brilliant mind but an engineer never mind.
13. An engineers's worst nightmare is teacher taking the class but not taking attendance.
14. An engineer can finish his syllabus in one night.
15. An Engineer knows nothing, but only an Engineer knows this.
16. An Engineer will never sleep in night and will never wake up in morning.
17. An Engineer is the most innocent person in front of his parents.
18. Never argue with an engineer because arguing with Engineers is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you'll end up slapping yourself.
19. The most common dialogue on the opening day of an engineering college is, "Bhai, iss saal bhi koi khaas ladkiya nahi hain!"
20. No one can speak better English than an engineer who is having a bottle of beer in his hand
21. There is always a hidden folder in engineers laptop...............๐๐ฌ๐
Funny Facts About Engineers
1. For engineers every course apart from engineering is easy.
2. An engineer learns to power of getting up at 9.25 am and reaching in the class at 9.30 am.
3. T-shirt and jeans are engineers national dress and maggie national food.
4. A normal person will fix the broken things but an engineer will first brake that thing and than he would fix it. This is his lab work you don't have nay right to disturb him.
5. An engineer can build a car, space ship and they even can make time machine. However they just can't build a relationship with a girl.
6. An engineer don't care for the rise in rate of petrol or gold but they get mad when cigarette costs Rs.7 instead of Rs. 6.50
7. An engineer loves to solve a problem. If there is no problem than they will create one and would start solving it.
8. An engineer touches his car and phone more than his girl, if he have.
9. An engineer can have Dr. title but a doctor can't have Er. title.
10. An engineer can derive any relation just give them the final expression.
11. Are you made of copper(CU) and tellurium(TE), because you're CUTE. This is how Engineers flirt.
12. Non engineers have great mind, genius mind , brilliant mind but an engineer never mind.
13. An engineers's worst nightmare is teacher taking the class but not taking attendance.
14. An engineer can finish his syllabus in one night.
15. An Engineer knows nothing, but only an Engineer knows this.
16. An Engineer will never sleep in night and will never wake up in morning.
17. An Engineer is the most innocent person in front of his parents.
18. Never argue with an engineer because arguing with Engineers is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you'll end up slapping yourself.
19. The most common dialogue on the opening day of an engineering college is, "Bhai, iss saal bhi koi khaas ladkiya nahi hain!"
20. No one can speak better English than an engineer who is having a bottle of beer in his hand
21. There is always a hidden folder in engineers laptop...............๐๐ฌ๐
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Husband wife sms: Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! ๐๐
(Readers are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog ๐
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! ๐๐
(Readers are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog ๐
Husband wife sms: Dr. Sahab Mein boht khush rehta hoon
Dr. Sahab Mein boht khush rehta hoon,
Neend sukoon se aati hai,
Zindagi main Aman hi Aman hai,
Har kaam main Dil b Lagta hai,
Koi pareshani hi nahi...Aisa kiyon hai ?
Doctor-
Mein aap ki Bimari samajh gaya hoon.
Aap ki zindagi may
Vitamin "She'' ki kami hai..๐๐
Neend sukoon se aati hai,
Zindagi main Aman hi Aman hai,
Har kaam main Dil b Lagta hai,
Koi pareshani hi nahi...Aisa kiyon hai ?
Doctor-
Mein aap ki Bimari samajh gaya hoon.
Aap ki zindagi may
Vitamin "She'' ki kami hai..๐๐
WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!
WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!
*Our Phones ~ Wireless
*Cooking ~ Fireless
*Cars ~ Keyless
*Food ~ Fatless
*Tires ~ Tubeless
*Dress ~ Sleeveless
*Youth ~ Jobless
*Leaders ~ Shameless
*Relationships ~ Meaningless
*Attitude ~ Careless
*Wives ~ Fearless
*Babies ~ Fatherless
*Feelings ~ Heartless
*Education ~ Valueless
*Children ~ Mannerless
Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.
In fact we are ~ Speechless
And Parliament is –CLUELESS.
And our Prime Minister is – USELESS!!๐๐๐
*Our Phones ~ Wireless
*Cooking ~ Fireless
*Cars ~ Keyless
*Food ~ Fatless
*Tires ~ Tubeless
*Dress ~ Sleeveless
*Youth ~ Jobless
*Leaders ~ Shameless
*Relationships ~ Meaningless
*Attitude ~ Careless
*Wives ~ Fearless
*Babies ~ Fatherless
*Feelings ~ Heartless
*Education ~ Valueless
*Children ~ Mannerless
Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.
In fact we are ~ Speechless
And Parliament is –CLUELESS.
And our Prime Minister is – USELESS!!๐๐๐
Young blood of india
Recently, India's most well-known film script-writer Salim Khan (actor Salmaan Khan's father) has said to a senior journalist in an interview: "Does anyone remember who the chief minister of Maharashtra was during the Mumbai riots which were no less deadly than the Gujarat riots of 2002?
Does anyone recall the name of the chief minister of UP during Malliana and Meerut riots or that of the Bihar CM when the Bhagalpur or Jamshedpur riots under Congress regimes took place?
Do we hear names of earlier chief ministers of Gujarat under whose charge, hundreds of riots took place in post-Independence India?
Does anyone remember who was in-charge of Delhi's security when
the 1984 massacre of Sikhs took place in the capital of India?
How come Narendra Modi has been singled out as the Devil Incarnate as if he personally carried out all the killings during the
riots of 2002?"
No speck of doubt about what Salim Khan has said.
When one says Gujarat's agriculture growth is 10-11% since whole last decade
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says he made the Asia's biggest solar plant,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Gujarat is the only state in the whole of India to provide 24*7 and 365 days electricity to almost all of its 18,000
villages,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says - World Bank's statement of 2011 said, Gujarat roads are equivalent to international standards,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Gujarat is the first State in country to have "high speed wireless Broadband service in its all 18,000 villages,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Forbes Magazine rated Ahmadabad as the fastest
growing city in India and 3rd in the world,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Gujarat Tourism is growing faster than ever before,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says according to central govt's Labour Bureau's report, Gujarat has the lowest unemployment rate in country,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When Narendra Modi is being chosen as the best current Indian leader in
almost all surveys & polls again and again
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says 2003-2013 are the only 10 straight years in Gujarat history which are totally riot-free,
The other STILL says 2002 Riots!
But when we remind them about riots which occurred during Congress and in Communist Party rule :
1947
Bengal....5,000 to 10,000 dead ...CONGRESS RULE.
1967
Ranchi....200 DEAD..........CONGRESS RULE.
1969
Ahmedabad...512 DEAD........CONGRESS RULE.
1970
Bhiwandi....80 DEAD.............CONGRESS RULE.
1979
Jamshedpur..125 DEAD......CPIM RULE (COMMUNIST PARTY)
1980
Moradabad...2,000 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE.
1983
Nellie Assam.....5,000 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE.
1984
anti-Sikh Delhi...2,733 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE
1984
Bhiwandi....146 DEAD....CONGRESS RULE
1985
Gujarat.....300 DEAD..CONGRESS RULE
1986
Ahmedabad......59 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE
1987
Meerut....81 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE
1989
Bhagalpur......1,070 DEAD......CONGRESS RULE
1990
Hyderabad......300 PLUS DEAD....CONGRESS RULE
1992
Mumbai....900 TO 2000 DEAD....CONGRESS RULE
1992
Aligarh....176 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE
1992
Surat.......175 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE
they become totally deaf ..................because they have no answer.
Congress is a government of hypocrites.
The youth of India says:............
We are not interested in 2002, We are interested in 2022
Does anyone recall the name of the chief minister of UP during Malliana and Meerut riots or that of the Bihar CM when the Bhagalpur or Jamshedpur riots under Congress regimes took place?
Do we hear names of earlier chief ministers of Gujarat under whose charge, hundreds of riots took place in post-Independence India?
Does anyone remember who was in-charge of Delhi's security when
the 1984 massacre of Sikhs took place in the capital of India?
How come Narendra Modi has been singled out as the Devil Incarnate as if he personally carried out all the killings during the
riots of 2002?"
No speck of doubt about what Salim Khan has said.
When one says Gujarat's agriculture growth is 10-11% since whole last decade
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says he made the Asia's biggest solar plant,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Gujarat is the only state in the whole of India to provide 24*7 and 365 days electricity to almost all of its 18,000
villages,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says - World Bank's statement of 2011 said, Gujarat roads are equivalent to international standards,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Gujarat is the first State in country to have "high speed wireless Broadband service in its all 18,000 villages,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Forbes Magazine rated Ahmadabad as the fastest
growing city in India and 3rd in the world,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says Gujarat Tourism is growing faster than ever before,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says according to central govt's Labour Bureau's report, Gujarat has the lowest unemployment rate in country,
The other says 2002 Riots!
When Narendra Modi is being chosen as the best current Indian leader in
almost all surveys & polls again and again
The other says 2002 Riots!
When one says 2003-2013 are the only 10 straight years in Gujarat history which are totally riot-free,
The other STILL says 2002 Riots!
But when we remind them about riots which occurred during Congress and in Communist Party rule :
1947
Bengal....5,000 to 10,000 dead ...CONGRESS RULE.
1967
Ranchi....200 DEAD..........CONGRESS RULE.
1969
Ahmedabad...512 DEAD........CONGRESS RULE.
1970
Bhiwandi....80 DEAD.............CONGRESS RULE.
1979
Jamshedpur..125 DEAD......CPIM RULE (COMMUNIST PARTY)
1980
Moradabad...2,000 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE.
1983
Nellie Assam.....5,000 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE.
1984
anti-Sikh Delhi...2,733 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE
1984
Bhiwandi....146 DEAD....CONGRESS RULE
1985
Gujarat.....300 DEAD..CONGRESS RULE
1986
Ahmedabad......59 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE
1987
Meerut....81 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE
1989
Bhagalpur......1,070 DEAD......CONGRESS RULE
1990
Hyderabad......300 PLUS DEAD....CONGRESS RULE
1992
Mumbai....900 TO 2000 DEAD....CONGRESS RULE
1992
Aligarh....176 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE
1992
Surat.......175 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE
they become totally deaf ..................because they have no answer.
Congress is a government of hypocrites.
The youth of India says:............
We are not interested in 2002, We are interested in 2022
Double meaning joke
Most confusing double meaning jokes...
Girl: aaj office jate hi boss mujpe chad gaya!
Friend : Q???
Girl: main "late gayi" thi..๐
1st frnd to 2 Friend: "Lay mithai kha!"
1stFriend: Kis gal Di?
2nd frnd: Teri Bhabi call centre wich job kardi ai, Tay unu Best "CALL GIRL" da Award mila ay!๐ฑ
DHABE Pe PATI Ne 1 BANANA SHAKE & PATNI Ne 2 mosambi juice Piye.
Counter Pe Payment K Time WAITER Ne AAWAZ Di-BHAIYA Ka 1 KELA Aur BHABHI Ka 2 Mosambi Kaat lena. -๐๐
Girl: aaj office jate hi boss mujpe chad gaya!
Friend : Q???
Girl: main "late gayi" thi..๐
1st frnd to 2 Friend: "Lay mithai kha!"
1stFriend: Kis gal Di?
2nd frnd: Teri Bhabi call centre wich job kardi ai, Tay unu Best "CALL GIRL" da Award mila ay!๐ฑ
DHABE Pe PATI Ne 1 BANANA SHAKE & PATNI Ne 2 mosambi juice Piye.
Counter Pe Payment K Time WAITER Ne AAWAZ Di-BHAIYA Ka 1 KELA Aur BHABHI Ka 2 Mosambi Kaat lena. -๐๐
Pappu n papa sms
๐๐ Pappu ne "Live Radio Station" call ki : Hello.. ji ye Radio station hai ?
RJ: ji Haan
Pappu: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ?
R.J: Haan
Pappu: Yani ghar mein jo meri behan Radio sunn rahi hai.. wo Bhi sun rahi hogi..?
R.J (Ghusse me) : Haaan bai haan๐
Pappu: Hello Gullo! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai.. toh jaldi se Motor chala de...!
Main uper chhat par.. Toilet mein huu aur Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!
๐๐
RJ: ji Haan
Pappu: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ?
R.J: Haan
Pappu: Yani ghar mein jo meri behan Radio sunn rahi hai.. wo Bhi sun rahi hogi..?
R.J (Ghusse me) : Haaan bai haan๐
Pappu: Hello Gullo! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai.. toh jaldi se Motor chala de...!
Main uper chhat par.. Toilet mein huu aur Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!
๐๐
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เค ंเคกे เคा เคिเคฒ्เคฒा (Fluffy egg omelette chilla )
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