Funny sms: WHAT IS TENSION

WHAT IS TENSION
Ladki ne Apse Lift mangi
Raste me UskiTabiat
Kharab h0gai
Aap Hospital Le gay
Doc bola
Ap bap ban'ne wale ho
apk0 TENTION!
Ap bole
Me iska
Bap nhi!
Phr ladki se pucha
Ladki boli
Yehi
Baap he
Apk0 0r tenti0n
Phr
Police i
Apka medical chek up hua

Report i k
Ap to kabhi
Bap hi
Nhi bn sakte
Aap ne
Upar wale ka
Shukr
Ada kia
Aur ap khushi khushi bahar a gaye!
0r phr
Socha k

Ghar pe jo 2 bachche hen..
Wo kis k hen..
apk0 phr TENTION
केंद्र सरकार का होटलों को आदेश ;
प्याज के पराठे खाने वालो के लिए PAN कार्ड अनिवार्य
😝😝
😂😂

Shayeri sms : A very beautiful poem on today's fast life.

A very beautiful poem on today's fast life.
"WAQT NAHI"

Har khushi hain logo ke daman me,
par ek hasi ke liye waqt nahi.

Din raat daudti duniya me,
zindagi ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Maa ki loree ka ehsaas toh hain,
par maa ko maa kehne ka waqt nahi.

Saare rishto ko toh hum maar chuke,
ab unhe dafnane ka bhi waqt nahi.

Saare naam mobile me hain,
par dosti ke liye waqt nahi.

Gairon ki kya baat kare,
jab apno ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Aankhon me hain neend badi,
par sone ka waqt nahi.

Dil hain ghamo se bhara hua,
par rone ka bhi waqt nahi.

Paiso ki daud me aise daude ki,
thakne ka bhi waqt nahi.

Paraye ehsaso ki kya qadar kare,
jab apne sapno ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Tu hi bata aey zindagi,
is zindagi ka kya hoga.

Ki har pal marne walo ko,
jeene ke liye bhi waqt nahi..!!
😊..

Long sms :Various laws that are applicable in day to day life.....

Various laws that are applicable in day to day life.....

💮 Law of equality :

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll cal u in 5 min!📞📱
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Queue:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.😓
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Telephone:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.😅
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.😖
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.😐
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮Bath Theorem:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.😓
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.😥
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 😳
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Bio mechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 😣
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Theatre Rule:

People with the seats at the farthest from the screen arrive last. 😅
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold. 😩
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Proposal :

After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..😜

Political humor: Agricultural Minister doesn't know what went wrong with Onions !!

Agricultural Minister doesn't know what went wrong with Onions !!

Defence Minister doesn't know what went wrong in
submarines !!

External Affair
Minister doesn't know what went wrong with Pakistan and CHINA !!

Home Minister doesn't know what went wrong at Bodhgaya and Hyderabad !!

Finance Minister
doesn't know what went wrong with Rupee !!

Coal Minister doesn't know who robbed the files from
the ministry!!

Prime Minister
doesn't know what went wrong with all of above !!

And then you
see full page ads in the name of Rajiv Gandhi / Indira Gandhi / Jawaharlal Nehru in all major papers using our well earned money saying

HO RAHA BHARAT
NIRMAN.... !!!

I am sure some of the meaning might not known ! Do you !

I am sure some of the meaning might not known ! Do you !

🔗News =
North East West South.
🔗Chess =
Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers.
🔗Cold =
Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.
🔗Joke =
Joy of Kids Entertainment.
🔗Aim =
Ambition in Mind.
🔗Date =
Day and Time Evolution.
🔗Eat =
Energy and Taste.
🔗Tea =
Taste and Energy Admitted.
🔗Pen =
Power Enriched in Nib.
🔗Smile =
Sweet Memories in Lips Expression.
🔗Bye =
Be with you Everytime.

share these meanings as majority of us don't know these. 😃

Political humor: किसी को खुदा की खुदाई मार गई

किसी को खुदा की खुदाई मार गई ,


किसी को यार की जुदाई मार गई ।


मनमोहन बुरा आदमी नही था यारो,


उसे तो राजीव गाँधी की लुगाई मार गई ।।

Political humor: The Haircut......

The Haircut......

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.


Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.

The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up,
there were a dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

REMEMBER: POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON.

If you don't forward this, nothing bad will happen.
But someone will miss good laugh 😀👏😀👌😀👏😀

Sharabi sms: Ever Heard about

Ever Heard about the device that converts
thoughts into speech...????
.
.
It''s called Alcohol..😜

Husband wife sms: husband wife series :d

💙 WHO'S GUILTY !
Husband and wife are 💙 WHO'S GUILTY !
Husband and wife are sleeping..
Wife dreaming... and she suddenly shouts "Quick, my husband is back"... Husband gets up in lightning speed & jumps out of the window.


💙 Total Disaster !
Two friends were walking but suddenly they stopped.
1St : Oh my god !! my girl friend & my wife r coming together...!!!
2nd : Damn Mine too...!!


💙 Banner In Front Of a corporate office:
"Drive Slowly, Don't Kill The Employees. Leave Them To Us.. We Do It In A Legal Way
Regards,
HR

💙 Sardar sir k sath sath kandho par bhi
shampu laga rha tha.
Wife - kandho pe shampu kyo laga rahe ho?
Sardar - Pagli ye koi aam shampu nahi hai
ye Head.. &.. Shoulder hai..

💙 Wife- U luv me. Hubby- Of course i do. Wife- Toh aap meri parvah kyun nahi karte. Hubby- Pagli pyaar karne wale kissi ki parvah nahi karte

💙 Santa ki tapasya se khush ho kar Bhagwan bole-
'VAR MANGO VATS'.
Santa Prabhu !! Jaisa aap soch rahe ho me waisa nahi hu...
'MUJHE VADHU CHAHIYE'

💙 Husband & Wife dono market gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya..
Wife:"kaun thi wo ??
Husband:"Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo,.. . abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho..!!

Husband wife sms: The Guy's Rules:

The Guy's Rules:
(We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side). These are just rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men ARE not mind readers

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmailing

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your saheli are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 5 Days..

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see only 7 colors.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. U r in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really dont mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh😝😉

Reply sms: Guess what is written in this picture