Husband wife sms: The nightmare birthday gift!!

The nightmare birthday gift!!

Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?

WIFE: How does he know you?

JIM: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?

WIFE: And how does he know you?

JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!


HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?


The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!


TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? 😷😋😄

Husband wife sms: Shortest Joke on wife

Shortest Joke :
Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.:)

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Searching these keywords on Google`How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.

He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Husband wife sms: No English dictionary has been

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London , England , and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner. His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED - explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand. ? Here is his astute answer: ? "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.? But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!" ? His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes!

Pj on girl

What's the difference between a knife and a girls argument?
.
.


.
.
.
.
A knife has a point 😑😑😂😂

Husband wife sms: ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir

ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir Khan In Ghajini -
Biwi Ki Sunte Hain,
Samajhte Hain,
Aur.
15 Minute Ke Baad Sab BhooL Jaate Hain... __________________________________☺Santa- Teri aur bhabhi ki jodi to "Ram-Sita" ki jodi hai.

Banta- Kahan yaar!! Na to ye dharti me samati hai, na hi ise koi Raavan le jata hai...!😜
👌🙏. __________________________________ +++++
What a Great New Generation it is!!
5 year old son was crying.
Dad came & asked
Why are you crying ? Tell me I'm your friend naa..

Son: Kuch nahi yaar.. Zara sa Horlicks kya nahi piya, teri ITEM bhadak gayi !!! 😜😆😝
+++++ __________________________________ Parlok mein rajiv gandhi ko achanak hansi aa gai,😁
indira gandhi ne puchha: kya hua?😳
Rajiv: sonia se shadi maine ki par bhugat manmohan singh raha hai.!😝😤😤😤😤😤😀😀😀✊✊✊✊✊😜😄😝😝🎽😣

Sardar sms: Sardars are back

Sardars are back
👳👳👳👳👳
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyo hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Mai to uthta hi subah 9 baje hu!
👳👳👳👳👳
Sardar to Doctor: Mujhe 1 problem he.
Dr: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: Aisa kab hota he?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
👳👳👳👳👳
Man: Sardarji aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke baith jata hu.
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C 'on' kar leta hu.
👳👳👳👳👳
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade." After 11 years an angry Vahe Guru appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le!"
👳👳👳👳👳
Ek sardar ki chhatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega?!
👳👳👳👳👳
Hitler: "There's no word like
IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary."
Sardar: Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jab kharidi thi tab check karna tha!
👳👳👳👳👳😝😝😝
💥💥💥💥💥
Wife Taaro Ko
Dekh Kar Boli :-
'Wo Konsi
Cheez Hai,,
Jo Tum
Roj Dekh
Sakte Ho,,
Par Laa
Nahi Sakte..??

Husband::-
Padosan.!!!😜
💃💃💃💃

Sardar ka interview: Batao wo kaun si Aurat hain jisko 1OO% pata hota hain ki uska Husband kaha
hain?
Sardar ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya or bola
.
"Vidhwa Aurat....😜😃😝

Santa banta sms: Santa in Lift.. 2 Girls lift me chadhi..

Santa in Lift..
2 Girls lift me chadhi..
Lift perfume se mahak gayi..

Ek boli:
Cobra perfume, Rs.6000.
Dusri:
Jasmeen perfume Rs.7000.

Achanak dono ko
kuch smell aayi,
dono ladkiyo ne apna naak pakda or
SANTA ko dekhne Lagi..

SANTA with smile:
"Muli" 14 Rupye Kilo Only...

Santa banta sms: Visions of the Future are Better than Dreams of the Past."

"Visions of the Future are Better than Dreams of the Past."

Santa singh plz explain its Meaning

Santa: Kal raat de hangover da na socho...?
Aaj kithe, teh kisde naal peeni ae, eh socho...:)😊

Husband wife sms: Accha kaam karne se pehle meetha khaana Chahiye

Wife to Husband



Wife :
Mein Tangg aa gai hu
Roz Roz ki Kit Kit se

Mujhe Talaaq Chahiye

Husband :
ye lo Choclate khao

Wife. ( Romantically )
Mana rahe ho Mujhe

Husband :
Nahi re Pagli

Maa kehti hai Accha kaam karne se pehle

meetha khaana Chahiye




For the First Time in History

Husband Rocked ✅
Wife Shocked🔴

Lovely sms: A Nano breaks down on a roadside. A BMW 750Li stops to help the

A Nano breaks down on a roadside.
A BMW 750Li stops to help the
driver.
"I will tow you to the next service
station, but if I drive too fast please
flash your lights" They start up slowly but only a km or
so down the line a Porsche speeds
past 150km/h.
The BMW driver totally forgets about
the nano & guns it after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ:
"Calling all stations :: You won't
believe this, I just saw a BMW & a
Porsche racing past at bout 190 km/h
with a Nano behind them flashing its
lights to Overtake. 😜😜

Husband wife sms: Universally True :-The only person whom

Universally True :-The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows Sincerely & does EXACTLY as he says is a....
PHOTOGRAPHER !!!😜😝 baki to woh apne baap ki bhi nahi sunti😜