Husband wife sms: Santa: Dekh teri biwi ko saap kaat raha hai!

🐍.... The killer one

Santa: Dekh teri biwi ko saap kaat raha hai!

Banta: Abey wo kaat nahi raha...uska 'Zeher' khatam ho gaya hai to wo RECHARGE Karwane aaya hai !

Husband wife sms: Kabhi Bahut Dukhi ho to

😥Kabhi Bahut Dukhi ho to
apni shaadi ka video
ulta chala k dekhna.
Maza aa jayega

Aapki Biwi
Aapke gale se haar utaaregi.
Car me baithegi
Aur
Mayke Laut jayegi💥😜

Long sms: WELCOME TO AADHAAR CARD

WELCOME TO AADHAAR CARD.A Scene in 2020...Operator:Hello Pizza Hut!Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?Operator : Can I have your multi purpose Aadhar card number first, Sir?Customer: Yeah!Hold on.....My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610Operator : OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu.Your home number is40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.Customer: (Astonished) How did you get all my phone numbers?Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.Customer: I wish to order your Seafood Pizza...Operator : That's not a good idea Sir.Customer: How come?Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressureand even higher cholesterol level, sir.Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it.Customer: How do you know for sure?Operator : You borrowed a book titled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from theNational Library last week, sir.Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then.Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total isRs. 2,450.Customer: Can I pay by credit card?Operator : I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card isover the limit and you owe your bank Rs. 1,51,758 since October last year.That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw somecash before your guy arrives.Operator : You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've exhausted even youroverdraft limit.Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. Howlong is it gonna take anyway?Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always comeand collect it on your motorcycle.Customer: What?Operator : According to the details in the system , you own a motorcycleregistration number 1123.Customer: "????" (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)Operator : Is there anything else, sir?Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 freebottles of cola as advertised?Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records, you're alsodiabetic... In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offerfor you.Customer: ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))Operator: Better mind your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 youwere imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive languageagainst a policeman...?Customer faints.......

Ad fun : Girl : dad I m in love with a boy who is far away from me..

Girl : dad I m in love with a boy who is far away from me..
I m in India and he lives in UK..
We met on matrimonial website,,
Became friends on FB,,
Had long chats on Whatsapp,,
Proposed each other on Skype,,
N now 2 months of relationship through Viber,,
I need ur blessings and good wishes ''oh daddy'... !!!
Her dad said : Now get married on Twitter,, Have fun on Tango,,
Buy your kids from Ebay,,
Send them through Gmail,,
And if you are fed up with your husband... OLX " pe bech de "..!!!

Husband wife sms: Once a Man asked GOD

Once a Man asked GOD
"why Girls are sweet, and all wives are horrible and bitter, GOD responded "Because Girls are made by Me......Wives by You

Naughty sms: 4 friends meet 30 years after school.

4 friends meet 30 years after school.

One goes to the toilet while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.

No. 1 says his son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a ferrari.

No. 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.

No. 3 said his son became an engineer, started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.

No 4. came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about.

They told him they were talking about how successfull their sons became and ask him about his son.

He said his son is gay and is a Stripper at a Gay bar.

Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.

" O no !! " said the father, he is doing good.

" Last week was his birthday and he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends..."

Lovely sms: एक बैँक लूट के दौरान लुटेरों के मुखिया ने बैँक मेँ मौजूद लोगोँ को चेतावनी देते हुए कहा

एक बैँक लूट के दौरान लुटेरों के मुखिया ने बैँक मेँ मौजूद लोगोँ को चेतावनी देते हुए कहा
"ये पैसा देश का है और जान आपकी अपनी
सब लोग लेट जाओ तूरंत .... क्विक"
सब लोग लेट गये !

इसे कहते हैँ - 'Mind Changing Concept'

एक महिला उत्तेजक मुद्रा मेँ लेटी थी
लुटेरों के मुखिया ने उससे कहा -
'ये लूट है रेप नहीँ तमीज से लेटो'
इसे कहते हैँ - 'Focusing'

लुटेरों का एक साथी जो कि MBA किये हुआ था,
उसने कहा कि पैसे गिन लेँ?
मुखिया ने कहा बेवकूफ वो टीवी पर देखना न्यूज में,

इसे कहते हैँ - 'Experience'

लुटेरे 20 लाख लेकर भाग गए. असिस्टेंट मैनेजर ने कहा - 'एफ आई आर' करें?
मैनेजर ने कहा - '10 लाख निकाल लो और जो हमने 50 लाख का
गबन किया वो भी लूट में जोड़ लो .... काश हर महीने डकैती हो'

इसे कहते हैँ - 'Opportunity'

टीवी पर न्यूज आई - "बैँक से 80 लाख लूटे"
लुटेरोँ ने कई बार गिने 20 लाख ही थे
उनको समझ में आ गया कि इतनी जोखिम के बाद उनको 20 लाख ही मिले,
जबकि साले मैनेजर ने 60 लाख यूं ही बना लिए

अब इसे कहते हैँ MANAGEMENT!

Santa banta sms: Sir : Define energy ??

Sir : Define energy ?? Santa : Sir pura nai aata ... thoda sa last ka pata hai .... Sir : theek hai jitna aata hai ... utna bolo ... Santa : ".... and that is called Energy "😝

School sms: School k piche nadi me Principal Doob

School k piche nadi me Principal Doob Raha Tha...
''Pappu''Ne Dekha Or zor zor Se Chillate Hue bhaaga..


🚶🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃👈
.

.🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

.
kal chhutti hai..
kal chhutti hai..😜😜😜

Funny picture:

Informative sms: उपयोगी जानकारी......कृपया सभी भारतीयों तक पहुंचा दें।

. उपयोगी जानकारी......कृपया सभी भारतीयों तक पहुंचा दें।

1. यदि आप भारत में कहीं भी बच्चों को भीख मांगते देखते हैं, तो कृपया संपर्क करें:
"RED SOCIETY"
9940217816 पर .
ये उन बच्चों की पढाई में मदद करेंगे।

2. यदि आप को रक्त की जरूरत है तो इस वेबसाइट पर जाएँ , आपको रक्तदाताओं का पता मिल जाएगा.
www.friendstosupport.org

3. हैंडिकैप्ड / शारीरिक रूप से विकलांग बच्चों के लिए नि: शुल्क शिक्षा और नि: शुल्क छात्रावास
संपर्क: - 9842062501 और 9894067506.

4. अगर किसी को आग दुर्घटना या उनके कान में समस्याओं के साथ पैदा हुए लोगों की, नाक और मुंहमुफ्त प्लास्टिक सर्जरी
Kodaikanal PASAM अस्पताल द्वारा किया जाता हैं.
सब कुछ मुफ्त है. संपर्क: 045420-240668,245732

"Helping Hands are Better than Praying Lips"


5. यदि आपको ड्राइविंग लाइसेंस की तरह किसी भी महत्वपूर्ण दस्तावेज जैसे राशन कार्ड, पासपोर्ट, बैंक पास बुक, आदि, कहीं सडक पर पड़े मिले तो डाक बक्से में डाल दें . भारतीय पोस्ट द्वारा उसके मालिक के पास पहुंचा दिया जाएगा.


6. बच्चों (0-10 वर्ष) के लिए मुफ्त हार्ट सर्जरी Sri Valli Baba Institute Banglore बंगलोर .
संपर्क करें: 9916737471


7. रक्त कैंसर के लिए चिकित्सा!

'Imitinef Mercilet' एक दवा है जो रक्त कैंसर के इलाज के लिए है "Adyar Cancer Institute in Chennai" में यह दावा मुफ्त उपलब्ध हैं.
Create Awareness. It might help someone.

"Adyar Cancer Institute in Chennai"
श्रेणी: कैंसर
पता: East Canal Bank Road , Gandhi Nagar , Adyar
Chennai -600020
Landmark: Near Michael School
Phone: 044-24910754 044-24910754 , 044-24911526 044-24911526 , 044-22350241 044-22350241
कृपया इस संदेश को प्रसारित करने में मदद करें🙏
apka ek msg kisi ki jindgi baccha sakta h watts up pe jo karna hai wo karo lekin ye msg jyada se jyada fwd karna 🙏🙏