Apraisal humor : UPCOMING HORROR MOVIES in Mar-Apr

UPCOMING HORROR MOVIES in Mar-Apr
1 Tadapta Employee
2 Month End Ki Raat
3 Increment - The Impossible
4 Apraisal Ka Khauf
5 Sadma Zero Increment Ka
6 Pyasa HR.
😃😀😄

Naughty sms: टीचर :- 'एक पन्त, दुई काज' मुहावरे को वाक्य में प्रयोग करो..?

टीचर :-
'एक पन्त, दुई काज' मुहावरे को वाक्य में प्रयोग करो..?


विद्यार्थी : -
मुन्सिदास मूतन गए..। 💦
मूतन लग गई पाद..।। 💨

पादत-पादत.. हग दियो..। 💩
एक पन्त, दुई काज..।। 😆
आज महामनीषी पूज्य स्वामी विवेकानंद जी का जन्मदिन है। समूचे राष्ट्र पर आज उनका ऋण है। 🙏 हिंदुत्व के ऐसे महान प्रतिपालक को नमन, मात्र 39 वर्ष की अल्पायु में उन्होंने इतना कुछ लिखा और बताया कि उनके देहावसान के सौ वर्ष बाद आज दिन तक उनके किये हुए कामो पर अनुसंधान हो रहे हैं। स्वामी जी को कोटिश नमन 🙏💥🙏

Naughty sms: Akbar ne birbal se sawal kiya.aadmi aur aurat ki soch me kya farq hai ?

Akbar ne birbal se sawal kiya.aadmi aur aurat ki soch me kya farq hai ?
Birbal ne jawab diya.
aurat ek hi aadme se bohot saari ummid rakhti hai.
aur aadmi bohot saari aurat se ek hi ummid rakhta hai.😝😝

Rajani kant sms :Rajani" is back with new ones ....

"Rajani" is back with new ones .....

🔸Recently china airports were closed due to heavy fog ........

Later it was discovered that Rajanikanth was smoking in India 😝!!!!!!!!!

🔸Rajanikanth did his KG from seven different places..
Today those places are known as IITs!!!!!!

🔸Government of india pays tax to Rajanikanth for living in India 😳!!!!

🔸Definition of solar eclipse:

When Rajanikanth stares at sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This greatest phenomena is called Solar Eclipse.........!!!!!

🔸Rajanikanth woke up one day and decided he should share atleast one percent of his knowledge with the world......

Thus.......The google was born!!!!

🔸Think what would have happened if Rajani would have born 150 years ago..?????

British would have fought for Independance.... 😆

🔸Best Rajani joke!!!!!!
Even Ghajini remembers Rajani !!!! 😜😝😆


🔸Why do earthquake occurs?????

Because at that time Rajanikanth's mobile is on vibration mode!!!!!!!!!

🔸Once Rajanikanth bunked a whole day in school.....!

Since then that day is known as.............Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸The pyramids in Egypt are actually.............
..........

Rajanikanths primary school craft projects!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Breaking news: ISRO does not exists anymore.....!!

Rajanikanth purchased all the rockets for Diwali celebration !!!!!!!!! 😁

🔸Why did Rajani buy an acre of land wth 4 wells on each corner?????

To play Carrom !!! 😝

🔸Before Tom Cruise, Rajani was approached for the movie Mission Impossible, but Rajani reused as he found the title insulting ...😜😂

Office humor: A woman in a hot air balloon realized that she is lost.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized that she is lost. :(

She reduced the altitude & shouted to a man below: "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

Man below replied: "You r in hot air balloon 30 feet above d ground.U r at 41 deg north latitude & 59 deg west longitude." :)

Lady: You must be an engineer.

Man: How do u know?

Lady: Everything u told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost. :(

Engineer: You must be in Top Management. ;)

Lady: Ya.How do you know ?

Engineer: U don't know where you are or where you're going. U made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, & u expect people beneath u to solve ur problems. 😉

Om puri pj: Alok Nath ke baad abb Om Puri ke baari.. .. ..!

Alok Nath ke baad abb Om Puri ke baari.. .. ..!

What does Om Puri's mother say when he's getting late for school?
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Hurry Om🏃💨!

Om Puri was kidnapped by Taliban! Government launched a Mission to save him! Mission ka naam kya hoga?
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Save Puri🍝!

Now Don't kill me for this one.. .. ..!

One day Om Puri came late to school, all the boy's said.. .. ..!
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"Omlet Aaya🍳, Omlet Aaya🍳!"

Naughty sms: Gf pings bf on chat:

Gf pings bf on chat: call kr bc balance khtm ho gya h

It took 15 minutes for boy to understand bc means BeCause !!
😂😂😂😂
-------------------------------
KAMINE DOST:

A broken lover's emotional status on Facebook:

"I want her Back...!"

Friend's Comment:
"Even I agree.....her front is not worth....!"

Naughty sms: Million Dollar Truth :

Million Dollar Truth :

If Saturday And Sunday Don't Excite You, then change your Friends.

If Monday doesn't Motivate you, then change your profession.

If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work then you should change your spouse!!😉

Funny qoute: The best advertisement line against Pizza, P

The best advertisement line against Pizza, Pasta, Burger, French Fries n all junk fud:-
"Few moments on Lips, Forever on Hips!!"
😄😜😝😂

A good medical QUOTE:-

Obesity is not because it runs in the family!!!!!😄
It is because,
no one runs in the family!!!!!😄

School sms: Teacher: Happy New Year bachchon! Aaj

Teacher: Happy New Year bachchon! Aaj se start ho raha hai. Is naye saal pe kasam khao ki kabhi bhi sharaab aur cigarette nahin piyoge, drugs nahin loge, non veg nahin khaoge.

Bachche: Theek hai sir, hum sharaab, cigarette, drugs, non veg ko chuenge tak nahin.

Teacher: Kabhi ladkiyaan nahin chedoge.

Bachche: Nahin chedenge sir.

Teacher: Kabhi jua nahin kheloge.

Bachche: Nahin khelenge sir.

Teacher: Desh ke liye apni jaan tak bhi de denge.

Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka karna bhi kya hai.

Naughty One spelling mistake can cost like hell

☺
☝One spelling mistake can cost like hell 😄!
Husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forget to add an "e" on the last word.
He wrote "Hi darling I'm experiencing the best time of my life & I wish you were her
😉😉