ALOK NATH.."" Hilarious..

After Chuck Norris, Rajnikant, Sir Jadeja,
presenting the new legendary figure:
""ALOK NATH..""
Hilarious..

👴. When alok nath sees a girl with a guy
he does her kanya daan then n there..!

👴 Alok Nath's CV reads:
Degree- MBA in Kanyaadan
Skills-Sanskaar
Experience-1022848 Kanyaadans done
Hobby- Giving Ashirwaads!

👴 Alok Nath celebrate new year by
playing Passing-the-parcel with family and
Antskshari...😜😜

👴 Alok Nath apni khud ki shadi me bhi
ladki waale the..!!

👴 Alok Nath requests the DJ to play
Anup Jalota songs in a Night Club...!!

👴 Alok Nath is the only virgin father..!!

👴 Alok Nath holds world record for
having Maximum number of Samdhi-
Samdhans in the world

👴, Alok Nath went to Vaishno Devi for
his bachelors party. With his family..!

👴. Alok Nath went for Sunburn and did
surya namaskar..!

👴 Alok Nath didn't become a doctor
because he was too ashamed of reading
about the female anatomy.

👴 Alok nath TEMPLE RUN bhi Chappal utar
kar khelte hai...!!

👴 When # Alok Nath was born, nurse greeted
his father by saying- " Badhai ho BABUJI
hue hain."..!!

👴 Alok nath ki ghadi 2 tarah ke samay hi dikhati hai...1. Achcha samay 2. Bura samay..!!

👴 Salman khan is still virgin because he was fell in love with aloknath's daughter in his first movie ....!

👴 Alok nath college mai ladkiyo ko impress karne ke liye Hanuman Chalisa padhate the....!!

👴 Aloknath eat prasad as a starter....!!!

👴 Jab bachpan mai kisi ne aloknath se puchha ki bade hoke kya banoge to vo bole " Apni betiyo ka Babuji"

👴 Alok nath itne sanskari hai ki condom bhi chandan flavors ke hi use karte hai ...!!



👴👴👴👴👴👴👴

Alok Nath Series Jokes:When Alok Nath was born;

Alok Nath Series Jokes

When Alok Nath was born;
Doctor Said, "Badhai ho, Babuji huay hain"

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath is so sanskari that he smokes agarbattis

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life.- Haridwar and Pariwar

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath CV Reads as:-
Degree- MBA in Kanyadaan
Skills- Sanskaar
Experience- 10022848 Kanyadaans done
Hobby- Giving Ashirwads!

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
"In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter's wedding.

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath has never received salary , he always receives pension.

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath carried Hanuman Chalisa to school instead of Notebooks

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath eats Prasad as Starters

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath believes in 'Aashirwad at First Sight'

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath reads "All Indians are my brothers and sisters" as "All Indians are my Samdhans and Samdhis".

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath went to Vaishno Devi for his Bachelor Party before marriage. With his Family.

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Honey Singh: Chhoti Dress me bomb lagdi mainu.
Alok Nath: Chhoti Dress me thand lag jayegi beti.

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath: Arohi
Arohi: Kya??
Alok Nath: Kuch nahi, bus apna kanyadaan mujhse hi karwana

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath is someone who is worried about Kanyadaan of d Girl
who is yet to be born...

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath's WhatsApp shows : "Last seen doing Kanyadaan at"

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath removes his slippers before playing Temple Run n distributes 'prasad' after crossing each level.

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
"When you type Alok Nath on Google search, "I'm feeling Lucky" changes to "I'm feeling Sanskari".

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath was d first person to call Parle as ParleG!!

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath wants Facebook to add 'Aashirwad' button.

«««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««
Alok Nath has Zero friends bcoz he always turns 'Dosti into Rishtedaari' 😜

Naughty sms: I asked a sexy Chinese girl for her number.

I asked a sexy Chinese girl for her number.

She replied,

Sex Sex Sex,Free Sex tonight.

I said, Wow!

Then her friend said,
She means 6663629😂

Husband wife sms: Kuch khatti meethi baaten

Kuch khatti meethi baaten

Biwi(Gusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!

Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Der Se Kha Kyon Rahi Ho….??
**************

Husband wife mein ladai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,

Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khaney mein kya hai"
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Main der se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:
****************

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin kar sakta:D
***************

Wife: Darling Tumhe Pata Hai
Jannat Mein Husband Aur Wife
Ko Ek Saath Nahi Rehne Dete

Husband: Isi Liye To Usey Jannat
Kehte Hain ..:
****************

Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
A. In both cases you feel 'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta'

******************

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!
******************

Wife: Tum Mujh Sey Kitna Pyaar Karte Ho?"
Husband: Shahjahan Jitna."
Wife: Mere Marne Ke Baad TAJ MAHAL Banao Gay?"
Husband: Main Ney Tou Plot Bhi Le Liya Hai,
DELAY Tou Tum Kar Rahi Ho!!!" 😜😜😜😄😄😄

God -bete, mannat maang.
Man -plz mujhe phir se unmarried
kar do. God - beta 'mannat'
maangne ko kaha hai, "Jannat"
nahi !😜😜😜
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
A man was granted two wishes by
God, He asked for the best drink &
the best woman ever. Next moment
he got mineral water & Mother
Teresa.😜😜😜😜😜
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Wife to Santa : "You don't love me
at all" Santa points towards their
five children and says "Do you think
I downloaded them from google"😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have
girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what
happened=))😜😜
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Puri LIFE ko Sudhaarne k liye ek
WIFE kafi hai, Par ek WIFE ko
sudhaarne k liye puri LIFE bhi kam
hai, -
Swami Dukhiya Nandji.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~😜😆
Wives are
magicians. ..... . . . . . . . . . . They
can change anything into an
argument😆😜
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY? A very INTELLIGENT Sardar
replied: Women don't have a wife!😜😜😆😜

Husband wife sms: Wife was kidnapped.

Wife was kidnapped.



Kidnapper sent to husband a piece of her finger n demanded money.



Husband replied "ye Ungli to kisi ki b ho sakti hai.."😡

MUNDI Bhej MUNDI" 😜😝



Kidnapper sent to husband a piece of her finger n demanded money.



Husband replied "ye Ungli to kisi ki b ho sakti hai.."😡

MUNDI Bhej MUNDI" 😜😝

Sharabi sms: एक शराबी सड़क के किनारे बहुत ज्यादा पीने के

एक शराबी सड़क के किनारे बहुत ज्यादा पीने के कारण लगभग बेसुध सा पड़ा हुआ था.....
एक भले आदमी ने उसके पास आकर पूछा –...
"आखिर इतनी ज्यादा पीनेकी क्या जरूरत थी ?...

"शराबी – "मजबूरी थी … पीने के अलावा और कोई चारा ही नहीं था..
भला आदमी – "आखिर ऐसी क्या मजबूरी हो गई थी ?".....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
शराबी – "बोतल का ढक्कन गुम हो गया था....

Husband wife sms: Wife = Where R u.?

Wife = Where R u.?
Husband ?= I'm At "Bank".
Wife = Wow thats good ? I need 20,000 ?? For new Cell Phone ,5,000 ?? for new dress ?, 6000?? for new shoes?, 4000?? for new purse?, 8000?? for my new cosmetics
Husband ? = Sorry ,
I mean
I am at Blood bank

"KHOON PIYEGI

KHOON ?"??

🔄
Listening to wife 👸is like reading the terms & conditions of website.
You understand Nothing😪, still you click
"I Agree"😝......!!

🔄
Wife: Suno ji, Doctor ne muje ek mahina aaram ke liye switzerland ya paris jaane ko kaha hai.
Hum kaha jayenge?
.😕
.😴
.😠
.😦
.😧
.😟
.😶
.😐
.😇
Husband: Dusre Doctor ke paas..😆😆😍😜

🔄
Papa : why is your mummy sitting silently today.
Son : nothing papa. She asked for lipstick and i heard fevistick.
Papa: (with tears in eyes) god bless you son.😜





🔄
Hubby Ke B'day Par Wife Ne Pucha-
Kya Gift Dun??

Hubby:-
Tum mujhe Pyar Karo, Izzat Karo aur Mera Kehna Maano...Yahi kaafi hai...!!

Wife:-
(Kuch Der Soch Ke)
Nahin Main To Gift Hi Dungi.😜

🔄
I argued👿... She argued👿...
I shouted😡... She shouted😡 and then she cried😭

Result: she won by duckworth lewis method😱




🔄
Chess is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the husband.
the poor king can take only one step at a time ...
While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.
-------------🙋🙆💁🙅

🔄
Why do most indian women request 4 the same husband,
in the next life.?..
Arre..itni mehnat se trained kiya hai..
waste thodi jane denge! 👡👠👢👜👝👛👓💄👘🎽💇💅💃
-----------

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

🔄

Getting married is like giving
.
.
.
.
.
"Your own Supari".👋😂.


👌😜
-------------------------

🔄
😂😂😂
All Men are Brave,
Horror Movies don't Scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife ..surely does
😜😎😋😂😄

🔄
🚦Whats Checkmate?

U tell ur wife I saw a lady, looked xctly like u"
&
wife asks "WAS SHE HOT..??"
U cnt say 'no'
U cnt say 'yes'
Dats Checkmate.! 😋😜




🔄
STOCK MARKET EFFECT:
Depressed Husband to his fat wife:
"You are my only investment,
that has doubled.'' 🙈🙉🙊😟😥😪

Reply sms: In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist

In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asked the Doctor: How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not??

Dr: Well, We'd fill a Bathtub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub...

Journalist: Oh, Obviously a normal person would use da bucket bcoz its bigger...

Dr: "No, A normal person would pull da drain plug!! Please go to bed No.39; We will start further investigations"...

Aap ne bhi bucket soocha tha na..... please go to bed no 40

Sharabi sms: I found a Leaflet in my newspaper

👍
I found a Leaflet in my newspaper today which read: ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!

I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer: Buy 3 & Get 1 Free!

Apraisal humor : UPCOMING HORROR MOVIES in Mar-Apr

UPCOMING HORROR MOVIES in Mar-Apr
1 Tadapta Employee
2 Month End Ki Raat
3 Increment - The Impossible
4 Apraisal Ka Khauf
5 Sadma Zero Increment Ka
6 Pyasa HR.
😃😀😄

Naughty sms: टीचर :- 'एक पन्त, दुई काज' मुहावरे को वाक्य में प्रयोग करो..?

टीचर :-
'एक पन्त, दुई काज' मुहावरे को वाक्य में प्रयोग करो..?


विद्यार्थी : -
मुन्सिदास मूतन गए..। 💦
मूतन लग गई पाद..।। 💨

पादत-पादत.. हग दियो..। 💩
एक पन्त, दुई काज..।। 😆
आज महामनीषी पूज्य स्वामी विवेकानंद जी का जन्मदिन है। समूचे राष्ट्र पर आज उनका ऋण है। 🙏 हिंदुत्व के ऐसे महान प्रतिपालक को नमन, मात्र 39 वर्ष की अल्पायु में उन्होंने इतना कुछ लिखा और बताया कि उनके देहावसान के सौ वर्ष बाद आज दिन तक उनके किये हुए कामो पर अनुसंधान हो रहे हैं। स्वामी जी को कोटिश नमन 🙏💥🙏