Husband texts to wife on cell."Hi, what r u doing

Husband texts to wife on cell."Hi, what r u doing Darling?"Wife: I'm dying..!Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair…"Husband: "Bloody English Language!"
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2. An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. "Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free."After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
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3. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems,No TV serial, don't demand new clothes & gold jewels,Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.On the way home..Husband: What did the doctor say ?Wife:- No chance for u to survive.
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4. ''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So MuchThat Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
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5. Woman Buys A New SIM Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
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6. Cool Message by a woman:Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children,I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
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7. A kid was beaten by his mom.Dad came n asked - what happen son?Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
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8. On an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
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9. Throwing knives on wife's picture a husband, All were missing the target!Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"His honest reply, "MISSING U"
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10. When a married man says "I'll think about it",What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
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11. Wife: Do you want dinner?Husband: Sure, what are my choices?Wife: Yes and no.
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12. What is the Difference between mother and wife? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.