Rajnikant joke: Rajani is back with new ones .....

Rajani is back with new ones .....

🔸Recently china airports were closed due to heavy fog ........ Later it was discovered that Rajanikanth was smoking in India!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Rajanikanth did his KG from seven different places..Today those places are known as IITs!!!!!!

🔸Government of india pays tax to Rajanikanth for living in India!!!!!!!

🔸Definition of solar eclipse:
When Rajanikanth stares at sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This greatest phenomena is called Solar Eclipse.........!!!!!

🔸Rajanikanth woke up one day and decided he should share atleast one percent of his knowledge with the world......
Thus.......The google was born!!!!

🔸Think what would have happened if Rajani would have born 150 years ago..?????
British would have fought for Independance....

🔸Best Rajani joke!!!!!! Even Ghajini remembers Rajani!!!!

🔸An email was sent from Mysore to Bangalore.
Rajanikanth stopped it at Mandya ....

🔸Why do earthquake occurs?????
Because at that time Rajanikanth's mobile is on vibration mode!!!!!!!!!

🔸Once Rajanikanth bunked a whole day in school.....!
Since then that day is known as.............Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸The pyramids in Egypt are actually.............
..........Rajanikanths primary school craft projects!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Breaking news: ISRO does not exists anymore.....!!
Rajanikanth purchased all the rockets for Diwali celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Why did Rajani buy an acre of land wth 4 wells on each corner?????
...................... To play Carrom!!!!!!

🔸Before Tom Cruise, Rajani was approached for the movie Mission Impossible, but Rajani refused as he found the title insulting....

Santa banta sms: This is ultimate--

This is ultimate--
Yamraj to santa: "ur time is over, tell ur last wish...
It will be accomplished."

Santa:"I want to see manmohan speaking to rahul gandhi's wife at priyanka's son's retirement party .....!"
😀😀😃😜😂
Yamraj Fainted...!!

Husband wife sms: अभी शादी का पहला ही साल था,

👉 अभी शादी का पहला ही साल था,

ख़ुशी के मारे मेरा बुरा हाल था,

खुशियाँ कुछ यूं उमड़ रहीं थी,

की संभाले नही संभल रही थी..

सुबह सुबह मैडम का चाय ले कर आना

... थोडा शरमाते हुये हमें नींद से जगाना,

वो प्यार भरा हाथ हमारे बालों में फिरना,

मुस्कुराते हुये कहना की…

डार्लिंग चाय तो पी लो,

जल्दी से रेडी हो जाओ,

आप को ऑफिस भी है जाना…

घरवाली भगवान का रुप ले कर आयी थी,

दिल और दिमाग पर पूरी तरह छाई थी,

सांस भी लेते थे तो नाम उसी का होता था,

इक पल भी दूर जीना दुश्वार होता था…😍

😃

५ साल बाद……..😓

सुबह सुबह मैडम का चाय ले कर आना,

टेबल पर रख कर जोर से चिल्लाना,

आज ऑफिस जाओ तो मुन्ना को

स्कूल छोड़ते हुए जाना…

सुनो एक बार फिर वोही आवाज आयी,

क्या बात है अभी तक छोड़ी नही चारपाई,

अगर मुन्ना लेट हो गया तो देख लेना,

मुन्ना की टीचर्स को फिर खुद ही संभाल लेना…

ना जाने घरवाली कैसा रुप ले कर आयी थी,

दिल और दिमाग पर काली घटा छाई थी,

सांस भी लेते हैं तो उन्ही का ख़याल होता है,

अब हर समय जेहन में एक ही सवाल होता है…

क्या कभी वो दिन लौट के आएंगे,

हम एक बार फिर कुंवारे हो जायेंगे..
😡

Har shadishuda ki dil ki baat

Naughty sms: Ek ladka Tota khridne gaya

Ek ladka Tota khridne gaya...
ladka-mai kaisa lagta hun?
tota- harami lagte ho...
ladka-bada badtameez tota hai...
dukandar ne tote ko pakad k pani me dubo dia aur pucha fir dega gali?
tota-nahi,
fir ladke ne tote se kaha- agar mai ghar me ladki lau to tum kya sochoge?
tota-biwi hai.
ladka-agar do lau.
tota-biwi aur sali.
ladka-agar 3 lau?
tota-biwi,sali aur dost.
ladka-aur agar 4 lau?
tota-pani le aao bhai..maine toh pahle hi kha tha harami hai sala.=))

Husband wife sms: Arz kia hai ki,

Arz kia hai ki,

Keh do samundar se ki jarurat nahi uski lehro ki...

bas 1 biwi kaafi hai zindgi mein tufaan laane ke liye!! 😝

Funny sms: Can't beat this one

Can't beat this one..........
A man dropped his iPhone5 in toilet🚽 n started crying...
Suddenly he realized that d toilet goddess👼 came and offered him a golden iPhone5.

..He tried to be modest n said I need my own iPhone5 not the gold one.

The goddess replied: Ye wahi phone hai saale.. dho le bas..😜😂

Jago youth jago

Although a little longer msg.. Its worth a read,
Economics of Food Security Bill. Read to the end to understand impact on us & spread the word..

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that congress food security bill will worked and that no one would sleep without food .

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on congress plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (that means tax collected from us will be used for food security bill expensed. i.e equal distribution ).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Can you think of a reason for not sharing this?

Neither could I....."

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Friendship sms: Ek aisi line, jisse ulta padho ya sidha

Ek aisi line,
jisse ulta padho ya sidha,
Dono hi acche lagte hain,

"Hai zindagi toh DOST Hain"...!!

send to all friends who r imp to u..
👏🙏👍👍

Quote on life sms: Five undeniable Facts of Life:

Sorry couldn't resist this...had to post it here...
Five undeniable Facts of Life:
1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate
them to be Happy. So when they grow up, they will
know the value of things, not the price.
2. Best awarded words in London.
"Eat your food as your medicines.
Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food"
3. The one who loves you will never leave you because
even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he will find
one reason to hold on.
4. There is a lot of difference between human being
and being human. A Few understand it.
5. U r loved when you are born. You will be loved
when you die. In between u have to manage...!

Naughty sms: A romantic moment Sahil par naujawan joda udaas baitha tha,

A romantic moment
Sahil par naujawan joda udaas baitha tha,
Ladke ne Ladki ko kaha kya bat hai udaas Q ho?
Ladki khamosh rahi.
Ladke se bardasht na hua or kaha koi waja to btao
Ladki door kinaarey par dekhne Lagi or Khamosh rahi
Ladka bola mujh se apna dukh Q chupa rhi ho?
Ladki ne apni palken jhukai or Us ki ankho se Ansu
nikal gaye.
Ladka tadap utha or bola ab bta do nhi to mai
jaan de dunga
Ladki ne bheegi palkon k saath Rait Par Likha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Paad Maar rahi thi
POTi Nikal Gai.. :)