Husband wife sms: A couple was having dinner at

1⃣
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE? - No

That was the deal :)😜

2⃣
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook!!

3⃣
Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed..."😜
🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒
👲Bhakt: Swami ji,
aisi Patni ko kya kahte h
jo Gori ho, Lambi ho, sundar ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe, Or kabhi jhagda n kare?

👳Swami: Man ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Man ka Vaham.!!!!!

Office office:Extract from Gita:

⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽
Extract from Gita:
Hey Parth,
| Tum pichli late promotion ka
paschatap mat karo |
|| Tum Agli Promotion ki
chinta mat karo ||
| Bus apni current posting se
he prassan raho |
|| Tum Jab nahin the
tab bhi ye office chal raha tha ||
| Tum jab nahin hoge,
tab bhi ye chalta rehega |
|| Jo computer aaj tumhara hai,
Kal kisi or ka tha ||
| Parso kisi or ka hoga. Tum ise
apna samaj kar magan ho rahe ho |
|| Yahi tumhare samast
dukho ka karan hai. ||
|Apraisal incentive,ACR, promotion, increment ye shabad apne man se nikal do |
|| phir tum is office ke ho
Aur ye office tumhara hai ||😂

Political humor: Petrol rise

⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽
PETROL PURAAAN...

⛽May your happiness😊 increase like Petrol Price, May your sorrow 😞fall like Indian Rupee, and May your joy fill your heart like corruption in India…!!! 🎡

⛽Pleasure & Pain come at the same price: Rs.80/-for a Beer Bottle OR 1 Litre Petrol. Decision is yours… झूम लो, या घूम लो.!!!🍺

⛽Dear Father-in-Law, I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry. Please take your Daughter or Car back…
I cannot afford both.
💃 or 🚖

⛽Finally it may happen…Beer cheaper than petrol!!! There will be new slogan: JUST DRINK; DON't DRIVE !!!⛽

⛽We have the world's cheapest car 🚗and the world's costliest petrol. रिकॉर्ड बन गया!!!

⛽Sign board at Petrol pump: Buy Petrol worth Rs. 20,000 and get a TATA nano absolutely free. 💱

⛽Man at Petrol Pump: Full tank कर दो...
Attendant: Sir, PAN Card की copy दो...
Man: What? Why? How?
Attendant: Sir, it's a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!!🆙

⛽ Harbhajan to Dhoni: हम तो जानबूझ के मैच हारे है... पता है कीजीतनेवाली टीम को Volkswagon मिलने वाली है, और वो petrol की है...!!!🚐

⛽ Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars…💲 Because………. वो आज भी गिरे हुए पैसे नहीं उठाता...!!!

⛽ Dharmendra's new dialogue: कुत्ते... 🐕कमीने... तेरी गड्डी का पेट्रोल पी जाऊंगा...

⛽ Beti: Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND!
Mom: हमने दुनिया देखि है, बेटी...
2 लीटर पेट्रोल जलाके घरआने वाला कभी JUST FRIEND नहीं होता... 🚲

⛽Petrol Pump Attendant: कितने का डालूँ?
Grahak: 50 ML गाडी पे स्प्रे कर दे भाई, आग लगानी है... 🔥

⛽ रामचंद्र कहे गए सिया से, ऐसा कलयुग आएगा,
कार कैश पे लेगा हर कोई,
पेट्रोल लोन से भरवाएगा...!!👼

Husband wife sms: Once a Man asked GOd

Once a Man asked GOD
"why Girls are sweet, and all wives are horrible and bitter, GOD responded "Because Girls are made by Me......Wives by You

Reply sms: Let see how smart r u ..?

Let see how smart r u ..?
1. V🔑 2⃣👬
2.Ⓜ✅🔑⚡❤💪
3.🚗✔📞🚗✔

These are 3 movies ..guess the names of this 3 movies...common smart people...all the best

Husband wife sms: Philosophy of Marriage :-

Philosophy of Marriage :-
.
At the Beginning,
Every Wife Treats her Husband as GOD..
.
Later,
Somehow don't Know why..
Alphabets Get Reversed..!!

Shayeri sms: Heart Touchig shyari

Heart Touchig shyari
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
Kuch Salo Bad ye pal
Bahut Yad Aayenge 👰

Jab Hum Sab Dost 👬
Apni Apni Manzil Par
Pahuch Jayenge 💤

Akele Jab Bhi Honge ☝
Sath Gujare Huye 🙌
Lamhe Yaad Aayenge 🙇

Paise To Bahut Honge 👜
Par Shayad
Kharch Karne Ke Liye 🍪
Lamhe Kam Pad Jayenge ❎

Aaj Jyada Msg Dene weale
Par Gussa Karte Hai 😍

Kal Ek Ek Msg Ko 📩
Taras Jayenge 😒

Ek Cup Chai ☕
Yaad Dosto Ki Dilayegi 🐾

Yahi Sochte Sochte💭
Fir Se Aankhe 👀
Nam Ho Jayengi 😭

Dil Khol Kar ❤ In Palo Ko
Jee Lo 👥

Zindagi Apna ' ITIHAS '
Fir Nahi Dohrayegi 👋
🌀🌀 🌀 🌀❗ 🌀. 🌀🌀🌀

Santa banta sms: Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Jamadar bola : 20 rs.

Santa -: Saale Bathroom mai baithta tha
CYBER CAFE main nahi..!
😊😀😃😄😁

Teacher To Santa-
Isko Hindi mei translate karo
She is kidding
Santa hasne lga or table par hi
gir gya or bola.
.
.
.itna asan

WOH BACHE DE RAHI HAI
☺😊😀😃😄😁

Doctor To Santa:
Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi
Hai..
.
Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya
Phir Aansu Ponchte
Huwe
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kitne Number Se ??
😨😳😁😁😀😃😄

Santa to Banta:
Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo
seedha teri
bhabi ke dil per lage .
.
... .
. .
... .

Banta: Goli mar de
🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Santa Sharab pite pite
Rone Laga...
Banta: Kya hua Ro Q
Rahe Ho?
Santa: Yaar Jis Ladki ko
Bhulane ke Liye Pi raha
thaUska Naam Yaad
Nahi Aa Raha..
🍻🍺🍻🍺🍻🍺🍻
1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi
Santa ne Window se Dekha
Socho Santa kya bola hoga?

Sirf latkne se height nhi bdhegi mumy ko bolo COMPLAN pilaye.
😉☺😊😀😃😄

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo.
✂✂✂✂✂✂✂✂

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Husband wife sms: A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

Name: Wife
Symbol: Bv
Atomic Weight: Don't even dare to ask!

Physical Properties :
- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love and care
- Very Bitter if Mishandled

Chemical Properties :
- Very Reactive
- Highly Unstable
- Possess Strong Affinity for Gold, Silver, Diamond and Platinum
- Money Reducing Agent

Occurrence :
- Mostly found in front of the Mirror.

Husband wife sms: The nightmare birthday gift!!

The nightmare birthday gift!!

Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?

WIFE: How does he know you?

JIM: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?

WIFE: And how does he know you?

JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!


HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?


The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!


TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? 😷😋😄

Husband wife sms: Shortest Joke on wife

Shortest Joke :
Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.:)

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Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

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Searching these keywords on Google`How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.

He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

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