Office office sms

80% of employees in corporate world are suffering from AIDS.
Cant believe ...?
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AIDS: Appraisal & Increment Deficiency Syndrome..!😝

Husband wife sms: Wife : Agar meri shadi kisi "

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Wife : Agar meri shadi kisi " Rakshas" se bhi ho jati to mai itni Pareshan nhi hoti jitni tumare sath hu

Awesome reply :

Husband : par Blood Relation me shadiya kaha hoti hai.. !!

Gandhi jayenti sms

🎉Happy b'day to Gandhiji. I pray he keeps coming in my wallet and in ur wallet too.😊👍

Husband wife sms: Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero. 😜😂

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Ek aadmi ne conductor se pucha: Aap kitne ghante bus me rehte ho?

Conductor: 24 hours.

Aadmi: Wo kaise?

Conductor: 8 ghante city bus me, Baaki 16 ghante biwi ke "BASME".! 😈😆😳

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Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

👴Boss: I am a lion at home 🏡 too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there!😁😲😖

Jaldi forward karo..Ye market me naya hai..😜😝😛😉👌

Funny sms: Customer to clerk: agar main aaj chq deposit karta hoon, toh kitne

Customer to clerk: agar main aaj chq deposit karta hoon, toh kitne din mein clear hoga?
Clerk: sir 3 din toh lagenge
Customer: dono bank aamne saamne hee hai. Phir itne din kyun lagenge?
Clerk: sir PROCEDURE to FOLLOW karna padta hai ....... Socho agar aap Shamshaan ke bahar mar jaate hai toh pehle aapko ghar leke jayenge ya wahin jala denge?
The Customer faints ........!!! 😃

Husband wife sms: A couple was having dinner at

1⃣
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE? - No

That was the deal :)😜

2⃣
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook!!

3⃣
Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed..."😜
🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒
👲Bhakt: Swami ji,
aisi Patni ko kya kahte h
jo Gori ho, Lambi ho, sundar ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe, Or kabhi jhagda n kare?

👳Swami: Man ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Man ka Vaham.!!!!!

Office office:Extract from Gita:

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Extract from Gita:
Hey Parth,
| Tum pichli late promotion ka
paschatap mat karo |
|| Tum Agli Promotion ki
chinta mat karo ||
| Bus apni current posting se
he prassan raho |
|| Tum Jab nahin the
tab bhi ye office chal raha tha ||
| Tum jab nahin hoge,
tab bhi ye chalta rehega |
|| Jo computer aaj tumhara hai,
Kal kisi or ka tha ||
| Parso kisi or ka hoga. Tum ise
apna samaj kar magan ho rahe ho |
|| Yahi tumhare samast
dukho ka karan hai. ||
|Apraisal incentive,ACR, promotion, increment ye shabad apne man se nikal do |
|| phir tum is office ke ho
Aur ye office tumhara hai ||😂

Political humor: Petrol rise

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PETROL PURAAAN...

⛽May your happiness😊 increase like Petrol Price, May your sorrow 😞fall like Indian Rupee, and May your joy fill your heart like corruption in India…!!! 🎡

⛽Pleasure & Pain come at the same price: Rs.80/-for a Beer Bottle OR 1 Litre Petrol. Decision is yours… झूम लो, या घूम लो.!!!🍺

⛽Dear Father-in-Law, I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry. Please take your Daughter or Car back…
I cannot afford both.
💃 or 🚖

⛽Finally it may happen…Beer cheaper than petrol!!! There will be new slogan: JUST DRINK; DON't DRIVE !!!⛽

⛽We have the world's cheapest car 🚗and the world's costliest petrol. रिकॉर्ड बन गया!!!

⛽Sign board at Petrol pump: Buy Petrol worth Rs. 20,000 and get a TATA nano absolutely free. 💱

⛽Man at Petrol Pump: Full tank कर दो...
Attendant: Sir, PAN Card की copy दो...
Man: What? Why? How?
Attendant: Sir, it's a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!!🆙

⛽ Harbhajan to Dhoni: हम तो जानबूझ के मैच हारे है... पता है कीजीतनेवाली टीम को Volkswagon मिलने वाली है, और वो petrol की है...!!!🚐

⛽ Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars…💲 Because………. वो आज भी गिरे हुए पैसे नहीं उठाता...!!!

⛽ Dharmendra's new dialogue: कुत्ते... 🐕कमीने... तेरी गड्डी का पेट्रोल पी जाऊंगा...

⛽ Beti: Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND!
Mom: हमने दुनिया देखि है, बेटी...
2 लीटर पेट्रोल जलाके घरआने वाला कभी JUST FRIEND नहीं होता... 🚲

⛽Petrol Pump Attendant: कितने का डालूँ?
Grahak: 50 ML गाडी पे स्प्रे कर दे भाई, आग लगानी है... 🔥

⛽ रामचंद्र कहे गए सिया से, ऐसा कलयुग आएगा,
कार कैश पे लेगा हर कोई,
पेट्रोल लोन से भरवाएगा...!!👼

Husband wife sms: Once a Man asked GOd

Once a Man asked GOD
"why Girls are sweet, and all wives are horrible and bitter, GOD responded "Because Girls are made by Me......Wives by You

Reply sms: Let see how smart r u ..?

Let see how smart r u ..?
1. V🔑 2⃣👬
2.Ⓜ✅🔑⚡❤💪
3.🚗✔📞🚗✔

These are 3 movies ..guess the names of this 3 movies...common smart people...all the best

Husband wife sms: Philosophy of Marriage :-

Philosophy of Marriage :-
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At the Beginning,
Every Wife Treats her Husband as GOD..
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Later,
Somehow don't Know why..
Alphabets Get Reversed..!!