Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Political humor: Petrol rise

⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽⛽
PETROL PURAAAN...

⛽May your happiness๐Ÿ˜Š increase like Petrol Price, May your sorrow ๐Ÿ˜žfall like Indian Rupee, and May your joy fill your heart like corruption in India…!!! ๐ŸŽก

⛽Pleasure & Pain come at the same price: Rs.80/-for a Beer Bottle OR 1 Litre Petrol. Decision is yours… เคूเคฎ เคฒो, เคฏा เค˜ूเคฎ เคฒो.!!!๐Ÿบ

⛽Dear Father-in-Law, I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry. Please take your Daughter or Car back…
I cannot afford both.
๐Ÿ’ƒ or ๐Ÿš–

⛽Finally it may happen…Beer cheaper than petrol!!! There will be new slogan: JUST DRINK; DON't DRIVE !!!⛽

⛽We have the world's cheapest car ๐Ÿš—and the world's costliest petrol. เคฐिเค•ॉเคฐ्เคก เคฌเคจ เค—เคฏा!!!

⛽Sign board at Petrol pump: Buy Petrol worth Rs. 20,000 and get a TATA nano absolutely free. ๐Ÿ’ฑ

⛽Man at Petrol Pump: Full tank เค•เคฐ เคฆो...
Attendant: Sir, PAN Card เค•ी copy เคฆो...
Man: What? Why? How?
Attendant: Sir, it's a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!!๐Ÿ†™

⛽ Harbhajan to Dhoni: เคนเคฎ เคคो เคœाเคจเคฌूเค เค•े เคฎैเคš เคนाเคฐे เคนै... เคชเคคा เคนै เค•ीเคœीเคคเคจेเคตाเคฒी เคŸीเคฎ เค•ो Volkswagon เคฎिเคฒเคจे เคตाเคฒी เคนै, เค”เคฐ เคตो petrol เค•ी เคนै...!!!๐Ÿš

⛽ Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars…๐Ÿ’ฒ Because………. เคตो เค†เคœ เคญी เค—िเคฐे เคนुเค เคชैเคธे เคจเคนीं เค‰เค ाเคคा...!!!

⛽ Dharmendra's new dialogue: เค•ुเคค्เคคे... ๐Ÿ•เค•เคฎीเคจे... เคคेเคฐी เค—เคก्เคกी เค•ा เคชेเคŸ्เคฐोเคฒ เคชी เคœाเคŠंเค—ा...

⛽ Beti: Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND!
Mom: เคนเคฎเคจे เคฆुเคจिเคฏा เคฆेเค–ि เคนै, เคฌेเคŸी...
2 เคฒीเคŸเคฐ เคชेเคŸ्เคฐोเคฒ เคœเคฒाเค•े เค˜เคฐเค†เคจे เคตाเคฒा เค•เคญी JUST FRIEND เคจเคนीं เคนोเคคा... ๐Ÿšฒ

⛽Petrol Pump Attendant: เค•िเคคเคจे เค•ा เคกाเคฒूँ?
Grahak: 50 ML เค—ाเคกी เคชे เคธ्เคช्เคฐे เค•เคฐ เคฆे เคญाเคˆ, เค†เค— เคฒเค—ाเคจी เคนै... ๐Ÿ”ฅ

⛽ เคฐाเคฎเคšंเคฆ्เคฐ เค•เคนे เค—เค เคธिเคฏा เคธे, เคเคธा เค•เคฒเคฏुเค— เค†เคเค—ा,
เค•ाเคฐ เค•ैเคถ เคชे เคฒेเค—ा เคนเคฐ เค•ोเคˆ,
เคชेเคŸ्เคฐोเคฒ เคฒोเคจ เคธे เคญเคฐเคตाเคเค—ा...!!๐Ÿ‘ผ

Husband wife sms: Once a Man asked GOd

Once a Man asked GOD
"why Girls are sweet, and all wives are horrible and bitter, GOD responded "Because Girls are made by Me......Wives by You

Reply sms: Let see how smart r u ..?

Let see how smart r u ..?
1. V๐Ÿ”‘ 2⃣๐Ÿ‘ฌ
2.Ⓜ✅๐Ÿ”‘⚡❤๐Ÿ’ช
3.๐Ÿš—✔๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿš—✔

These are 3 movies ..guess the names of this 3 movies...common smart people...all the best

Husband wife sms: Philosophy of Marriage :-

Philosophy of Marriage :-
.
At the Beginning,
Every Wife Treats her Husband as GOD..
.
Later,
Somehow don't Know why..
Alphabets Get Reversed..!!

Monday, September 30, 2013

Shayeri sms: Heart Touchig shyari

Heart Touchig shyari
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
Kuch Salo Bad ye pal
Bahut Yad Aayenge ๐Ÿ‘ฐ

Jab Hum Sab Dost ๐Ÿ‘ฌ
Apni Apni Manzil Par
Pahuch Jayenge ๐Ÿ’ค

Akele Jab Bhi Honge ☝
Sath Gujare Huye ๐Ÿ™Œ
Lamhe Yaad Aayenge ๐Ÿ™‡

Paise To Bahut Honge ๐Ÿ‘œ
Par Shayad
Kharch Karne Ke Liye ๐Ÿช
Lamhe Kam Pad Jayenge ❎

Aaj Jyada Msg Dene weale
Par Gussa Karte Hai ๐Ÿ˜

Kal Ek Ek Msg Ko ๐Ÿ“ฉ
Taras Jayenge ๐Ÿ˜’

Ek Cup Chai ☕
Yaad Dosto Ki Dilayegi ๐Ÿพ

Yahi Sochte Sochte๐Ÿ’ญ
Fir Se Aankhe ๐Ÿ‘€
Nam Ho Jayengi ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Dil Khol Kar ❤ In Palo Ko
Jee Lo ๐Ÿ‘ฅ

Zindagi Apna ' ITIHAS '
Fir Nahi Dohrayegi ๐Ÿ‘‹
๐ŸŒ€๐ŸŒ€ ๐ŸŒ€ ๐ŸŒ€❗ ๐ŸŒ€. ๐ŸŒ€๐ŸŒ€๐ŸŒ€

Santa banta sms: Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Jamadar bola : 20 rs.

Santa -: Saale Bathroom mai baithta tha
CYBER CAFE main nahi..!
๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜

Teacher To Santa-
Isko Hindi mei translate karo
She is kidding
Santa hasne lga or table par hi
gir gya or bola.
.
.
.itna asan

WOH BACHE DE RAHI HAI
☺๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜

Doctor To Santa:
Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi
Hai..
.
Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya
Phir Aansu Ponchte
Huwe
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kitne Number Se ??
๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„

Santa to Banta:
Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo
seedha teri
bhabi ke dil per lage .
.
... .
. .
... .

Banta: Goli mar de
๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ”ซ

Santa Sharab pite pite
Rone Laga...
Banta: Kya hua Ro Q
Rahe Ho?
Santa: Yaar Jis Ladki ko
Bhulane ke Liye Pi raha
thaUska Naam Yaad
Nahi Aa Raha..
๐Ÿป๐Ÿบ๐Ÿป๐Ÿบ๐Ÿป๐Ÿบ๐Ÿป
1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi
Santa ne Window se Dekha
Socho Santa kya bola hoga?

Sirf latkne se height nhi bdhegi mumy ko bolo COMPLAN pilaye.
๐Ÿ˜‰☺๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo.
✂✂✂✂✂✂✂✂

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Husband wife sms: A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

Name: Wife
Symbol: Bv
Atomic Weight: Don't even dare to ask!

Physical Properties :
- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love and care
- Very Bitter if Mishandled

Chemical Properties :
- Very Reactive
- Highly Unstable
- Possess Strong Affinity for Gold, Silver, Diamond and Platinum
- Money Reducing Agent

Occurrence :
- Mostly found in front of the Mirror.

Husband wife sms: The nightmare birthday gift!!

The nightmare birthday gift!!

Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?

WIFE: How does he know you?

JIM: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?

WIFE: And how does he know you?

JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!


HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?


The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!


TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜„

Husband wife sms: Shortest Joke on wife

Shortest Joke :
Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.:)

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Searching these keywords on Google`How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.

He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Husband wife sms: No English dictionary has been

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London , England , and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner. His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED - explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand. ? Here is his astute answer: ? "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.? But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!" ? His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes!

Pj on girl

What's the difference between a knife and a girls argument?
.
.


.
.
.
.
A knife has a point ๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

เค…ंเคกे เค•ा เคšिเคฒ्เคฒा (Fluffy egg omelette chilla )

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