Shayeri sms: Heart Touchig shyari

Heart Touchig shyari
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
Kuch Salo Bad ye pal
Bahut Yad Aayenge 👰

Jab Hum Sab Dost 👬
Apni Apni Manzil Par
Pahuch Jayenge 💤

Akele Jab Bhi Honge ☝
Sath Gujare Huye 🙌
Lamhe Yaad Aayenge 🙇

Paise To Bahut Honge 👜
Par Shayad
Kharch Karne Ke Liye 🍪
Lamhe Kam Pad Jayenge ❎

Aaj Jyada Msg Dene weale
Par Gussa Karte Hai 😍

Kal Ek Ek Msg Ko 📩
Taras Jayenge 😒

Ek Cup Chai ☕
Yaad Dosto Ki Dilayegi 🐾

Yahi Sochte Sochte💭
Fir Se Aankhe 👀
Nam Ho Jayengi 😭

Dil Khol Kar ❤ In Palo Ko
Jee Lo 👥

Zindagi Apna ' ITIHAS '
Fir Nahi Dohrayegi 👋
🌀🌀 🌀 🌀❗ 🌀. 🌀🌀🌀

Santa banta sms: Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Santa public toilet gaya or 1ghante baad nikla.

Jamadar bola : 20 rs.

Santa -: Saale Bathroom mai baithta tha
CYBER CAFE main nahi..!
😊😀😃😄😁

Teacher To Santa-
Isko Hindi mei translate karo
She is kidding
Santa hasne lga or table par hi
gir gya or bola.
.
.
.itna asan

WOH BACHE DE RAHI HAI
☺😊😀😃😄😁

Doctor To Santa:
Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi
Hai..
.
Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya
Phir Aansu Ponchte
Huwe
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kitne Number Se ??
😨😳😁😁😀😃😄

Santa to Banta:
Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo
seedha teri
bhabi ke dil per lage .
.
... .
. .
... .

Banta: Goli mar de
🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Santa Sharab pite pite
Rone Laga...
Banta: Kya hua Ro Q
Rahe Ho?
Santa: Yaar Jis Ladki ko
Bhulane ke Liye Pi raha
thaUska Naam Yaad
Nahi Aa Raha..
🍻🍺🍻🍺🍻🍺🍻
1 Girl Fasi Laga rhi thi
Santa ne Window se Dekha
Socho Santa kya bola hoga?

Sirf latkne se height nhi bdhegi mumy ko bolo COMPLAN pilaye.
😉☺😊😀😃😄

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo.
✂✂✂✂✂✂✂✂

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Husband wife sms: A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

Name: Wife
Symbol: Bv
Atomic Weight: Don't even dare to ask!

Physical Properties :
- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love and care
- Very Bitter if Mishandled

Chemical Properties :
- Very Reactive
- Highly Unstable
- Possess Strong Affinity for Gold, Silver, Diamond and Platinum
- Money Reducing Agent

Occurrence :
- Mostly found in front of the Mirror.

Husband wife sms: The nightmare birthday gift!!

The nightmare birthday gift!!

Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?

WIFE: How does he know you?

JIM: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?

WIFE: And how does he know you?

JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!


HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?


The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!


TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? 😷😋😄

Husband wife sms: Shortest Joke on wife

Shortest Joke :
Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.:)

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Searching these keywords on Google`How to tackle wife?`

Google search result, "Good day sir, Even we are searching".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

A friend recently explained, why he refuses to get married.

He says, "The wedding rings look like a miniature handcuffs".

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Husband wife sms: No English dictionary has been

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London , England , and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner. His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED - explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand. ? Here is his astute answer: ? "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.? But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!" ? His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes!

Pj on girl

What's the difference between a knife and a girls argument?
.
.


.
.
.
.
A knife has a point 😑😑😂😂

Husband wife sms: ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir

ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir Khan In Ghajini -
Biwi Ki Sunte Hain,
Samajhte Hain,
Aur.
15 Minute Ke Baad Sab BhooL Jaate Hain... __________________________________☺Santa- Teri aur bhabhi ki jodi to "Ram-Sita" ki jodi hai.

Banta- Kahan yaar!! Na to ye dharti me samati hai, na hi ise koi Raavan le jata hai...!😜
👌🙏. __________________________________ +++++
What a Great New Generation it is!!
5 year old son was crying.
Dad came & asked
Why are you crying ? Tell me I'm your friend naa..

Son: Kuch nahi yaar.. Zara sa Horlicks kya nahi piya, teri ITEM bhadak gayi !!! 😜😆😝
+++++ __________________________________ Parlok mein rajiv gandhi ko achanak hansi aa gai,😁
indira gandhi ne puchha: kya hua?😳
Rajiv: sonia se shadi maine ki par bhugat manmohan singh raha hai.!😝😤😤😤😤😤😀😀😀✊✊✊✊✊😜😄😝😝🎽😣

Sardar sms: Sardars are back

Sardars are back
👳👳👳👳👳
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyo hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Mai to uthta hi subah 9 baje hu!
👳👳👳👳👳
Sardar to Doctor: Mujhe 1 problem he.
Dr: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: Aisa kab hota he?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
👳👳👳👳👳
Man: Sardarji aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke baith jata hu.
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C 'on' kar leta hu.
👳👳👳👳👳
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade." After 11 years an angry Vahe Guru appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le!"
👳👳👳👳👳
Ek sardar ki chhatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega?!
👳👳👳👳👳
Hitler: "There's no word like
IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary."
Sardar: Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jab kharidi thi tab check karna tha!
👳👳👳👳👳😝😝😝
💥💥💥💥💥
Wife Taaro Ko
Dekh Kar Boli :-
'Wo Konsi
Cheez Hai,,
Jo Tum
Roj Dekh
Sakte Ho,,
Par Laa
Nahi Sakte..??

Husband::-
Padosan.!!!😜
💃💃💃💃

Sardar ka interview: Batao wo kaun si Aurat hain jisko 1OO% pata hota hain ki uska Husband kaha
hain?
Sardar ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya or bola
.
"Vidhwa Aurat....😜😃😝

Santa banta sms: Santa in Lift.. 2 Girls lift me chadhi..

Santa in Lift..
2 Girls lift me chadhi..
Lift perfume se mahak gayi..

Ek boli:
Cobra perfume, Rs.6000.
Dusri:
Jasmeen perfume Rs.7000.

Achanak dono ko
kuch smell aayi,
dono ladkiyo ne apna naak pakda or
SANTA ko dekhne Lagi..

SANTA with smile:
"Muli" 14 Rupye Kilo Only...

Santa banta sms: Visions of the Future are Better than Dreams of the Past."

"Visions of the Future are Better than Dreams of the Past."

Santa singh plz explain its Meaning

Santa: Kal raat de hangover da na socho...?
Aaj kithe, teh kisde naal peeni ae, eh socho...:)😊

Husband wife sms: Accha kaam karne se pehle meetha khaana Chahiye

Wife to Husband



Wife :
Mein Tangg aa gai hu
Roz Roz ki Kit Kit se

Mujhe Talaaq Chahiye

Husband :
ye lo Choclate khao

Wife. ( Romantically )
Mana rahe ho Mujhe

Husband :
Nahi re Pagli

Maa kehti hai Accha kaam karne se pehle

meetha khaana Chahiye




For the First Time in History

Husband Rocked ✅
Wife Shocked🔴

Lovely sms: A Nano breaks down on a roadside. A BMW 750Li stops to help the

A Nano breaks down on a roadside.
A BMW 750Li stops to help the
driver.
"I will tow you to the next service
station, but if I drive too fast please
flash your lights" They start up slowly but only a km or
so down the line a Porsche speeds
past 150km/h.
The BMW driver totally forgets about
the nano & guns it after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ:
"Calling all stations :: You won't
believe this, I just saw a BMW & a
Porsche racing past at bout 190 km/h
with a Nano behind them flashing its
lights to Overtake. 😜😜

Husband wife sms: Universally True :-The only person whom

Universally True :-The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows Sincerely & does EXACTLY as he says is a....
PHOTOGRAPHER !!!😜😝 baki to woh apne baap ki bhi nahi sunti😜

Political humor: MODI to Lady: Pardes me agar koi

MODI to Lady: Pardes me agar koi tumhare pati ko maar dale tum us desh ki tarakki ki sochogi ya vaat lagane ki?

LADY: obviously Vaat lagane ki

MODI: Bilkul sahi.....Vahi to Sonia kar rahi hai...

Quote on life sms: Best Quotes...

Best Quotes...

1) Intention kitna bhi achha ho.
Duniya presentation dekhti hai...
Aur
Presentation kitana bhi accha ho,
Uparwala Intention dekhta hai.. !!! "Choice is urs" !!!

2) "Everyone have two Eyes.
But
No one has the same View."

3) The most important quality of successful people is their willingness to change.

4) "Human beings are very strange.
They have ego of their Knowledge..
But,
They don't have knowledge of their ego".

5) PARENTS don't expect much from us,
They just expect the loan of LOVE whch we borrowed from them in our childhood to be returned in their old age.

6) People who judge do not matter.
People who matter do not judge.

7) Success is the time to redefine our Goals.
Failure is the time to redefine our Methods.

If people are trying to bring you down.....
It only means that you are above them.

9) Alphabet "O" stands for Opportunity which is absent in Yesterday"
Available only once in "Today" And thrice in "Tomorrow".

10) "Pain Is Unavoidable but,
Suffering Is Optional"

11) SOLID QUOTE:
"Patthar Sirf ek bar Mandir Jaata hai aur Bhagwan Ban Jaata hai.

Hum Roz Mandir Jakar bhi Patthar hi Rehte hain."

12) Only message are not life ,
But Our life should be a message to other !

13 ) Risk is My Life..
Possible is My Hope..
Impossible is My Enemy..
Dangerous is My Game..
Walk with Me..
My name is SUCCESS...😎

Husband wife sms: A Man gifted his wife a diamond necklace

A Man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary&his wife did not speak to him for 3 months!
Was the necklace fake?

No,that was the deal...!!!.😂😂😂

Husband wife sms: Husband to wife :- Today is a fine day

Husband to wife :- Today is a fine day.
Next day he says :- Today is a fine day.
Again next day, he says same thing - Today is a fine day.
Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband :- Since last one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter ?
Husband :- Last week when we had an argument, you said,"I will leave you one fine day." !!

Lovely sms :Ye Sms Soch samjakar padhana-

Ye Sms
Soch samjakar padhana-


3-CHIZE ZINDAGI Me1 Baar Milti Hain-
1.MAA-BAP
2.WAQT
3.DOST

3-CHIZE SOCH-SAMAZ Kar Uthao-
1.KADAM
2.KASAM
3.KALAM

3-CHIZE SOCH Kr KARO-
1.PYAR
2.BAAT
3.FAISALA

3-CHIZE Kisi Ka INTZAR Nhi Karti-
1.MOUT
2.WAQT
3.UMAR

3-CHIZE CHHOTI Na Samjho-
1.KARZ
2.FARZ
3.RISHTA

3-CHIZE Humesha DARD Deti H-
1.DHOKA
2.GARIBI
3.YAADE

3-CHIZO se Humesha Aap KHUSH Rahenge-
1.GOD
2.FAMILY And
3.DOSTI
Ye sms DIL khol ke forward karo!!✨👍✨

Husband wife sms: 1 aurat kidnap hui aur kidnap kar

1 aurat kidnap hui aur kidnap karne walon ne uske pati ko phone kiya: "Agar aaj raat tak raQam na di toh tumhari biwi ka murder kar denge"


Pati khamosh raha.


Agle din phir phone aya "Agar aaj raat tak raqam na di toh tumhari biwi ko wapas chhod jayenge!"


Pati: "Paise bol paise kaminey, darata kyu hai ?". 😜💸🔨🔨🔨😡

Lovely sms : OneDay..Death came to a Guy and said

OneDay..Death came to a Guy and said:

"Hey, today is your last day!"

Guy: "But i'm not ready!".

Death said: "Well today your name is the first on my list...".

Guy:"Okay,then why don't you take a seat and We will drink a COFFEE before we go?"

Death:"All right.. ".

The Guy gave Death some COFFEE with sleeping pills in it.
Death finished COFFEE and fell into a deep sleep!!!

The Guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put at the bottom of the list!

When Death woke up he said to the Guy:"Because you have been so nice to me, now I will start my job from the BOTTOM of the list.." !!! Moral:

Whatever is written in your Destiny ...
Will never change... no matter how much u try....
So Shri Krishna Says:

"Tu karta woh hai
Jo tu chahata hai,

Par hota woh hai
jo mai chahata hu !

Tu kar woh jo mai Chahata hu ....
Fir hoga woh jo tu chahta hai....Jsk
..^..
,(-_-),
'\'''''.\'='-.
\/..\\,'
//"")
(\ /n
\ |,
,,; ',
It's such awsum MSG so I posted.....do read It again.....👍

Informative sms: ईश्वर का दिया कभी अल्प नहीं होता; जो टूट जाये वो संकल्प नहीं होता;

🌾🌾🌾ईश्वर का दिया कभी अल्प नहीं होता;
जो टूट जाये वो संकल्प नहीं होता;
हार को लक्ष्य से दूर ही रखना;
क्योंकि जीत का कोई विकल्प नहीं होता।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾जिंदगी में दो चीज़ें हमेशा टूटने के लिए ही होती हैं:
"सांस और साथ"
सांस टूटने से तो इंसान 1 ही बार मरता है;
पर किसी का साथ टूटने से इंसान पल-पल मरता है।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾जीवन का सबसे बड़ा अपराध - किसी की आँख में आंसू आपकी वजह से होना।
और
जीवन की सबसे बड़ी उपलब्धि - किसी की आँख में आंसू आपके लिए होना।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾जिंदगी जीना आसान नहीं होता;
बिना संघर्ष कोई महान नहीं होता;
जब तक न पड़े हथोड़े की चोट;
पत्थर भी भगवान नहीं होता।
🌿🌿🌿

🌾🌾🌾जरुरत के मुताबिक जिंदगी जिओ - ख्वाहिशों के मुताबिक नहीं।
क्योंकि जरुरत तो फकीरों की भी पूरी हो जाती है;
और ख्वाहिशें बादशाहों की भी अधूरी रह जाती है। 🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾मनुष्य सुबह से शाम तक काम करके उतना नहीं थकता;
जितना क्रोध और चिंता से एक क्षण में थक जाता है।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾दुनिया में कोई भी चीज़ अपने आपके लिए नहीं बनी है।
जैसे:
दरिया - खुद अपना पानी नहीं पीता।
पेड़ - खुद अपना फल नहीं खाते।
फूल - अपनी खुशबु अपने लिए नहीं बिखेरते।
मालूम है क्यों?
क्योंकि दूसरों के लिए ही जीना ही असली जिंदगी है।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾मांगो तो अपने रब से मांगो;
जो दे तो रहमत और न दे तो किस्मत;
लेकिन दुनिया से हरगिज़ मत माँगना;
क्योंकि दे तो एहसान और न दे तो शर्मिंदगी।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾कभी भी 'कामयाबी' को दिमाग और 'नकामी' को दिल में जगह नहीं देनी चाहिए।
क्योंकि, कामयाबी दिमाग में घमंड और नकामी दिल में मायूसी पैदा करती है।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾कौन देता है उम्र भर का सहारा। लोग तो जनाज़े में भी कंधे बदलते रहते हैं।🌿🌿🌿


🌾🌾🌾कोई व्यक्ति कितना ही महान क्यों न हो, आंखे मूंदकर उसके पीछे न चलिए।
यदि ईश्वर की ऐसी ही मंशा होती तो वह हर प्राणी को आंख, नाक, कान, मुंह, मस्तिष्क आदि क्यों देता?🌿🌿🌿

Husband wife sms: THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE-

THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE-
Once I asked my friend, "What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?"

He said "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

I asked "Can you explain?"

He said "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my Wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, i asked him "Give me some examples".

He said "Smaller issues like,
which car we should buy,
how much amount to save,
when to visit the super market, when & where to go on vacation,
which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy.
Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. Are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it "

I asked "Then, what is your role?"

He said "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether to widen the Sri Lankan economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire from Cricket , Whom should Salman Khan Marry. etc etc. and do you know, my wife, NEVER, objects to any of these decisions".👍👍
😜😜😜
👏👏👏👏

Pj joke:Tinku 1 lecture attend karta hai.

Tinku 1 lecture attend karta hai.

Lecture k baad usey bhook lagti hai, So he goes 2 d canteen.

Canteen me tinku 1 pav leta hai. Jaise hi wo paav khane k liye uthata he to dekhta h k uski plate me JANNAT likha hai.

To ab aapko ye batana h k tinku k profesor ka naam kya hai ?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
Ans-ISHQ KI CHHAON

kyuki

.
.
.
.
Jinke SIR ho ISHQ KI CHHAON

'PAV' k niche 'JANNAT' hogiiiiii...
Chal chayian chaiyan chaiyan chayian

💃 🏃.
🚂🚎🚎🚎🚎💨💨


Disastrous tha na....!

Maine bhi jhela ! Y shd I suffer alone!😜😁😂

Husband wife sms: After 15 years of marriage, a wife

After 15 years of marriage, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK.
"What does that mean?" she asked.
"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied.
Smiling, she asked: What about IJK?
He replied: I'm Just Kidding!
😜😛😍😄

College sms: DEFINITION of "bachpan"::: ----------

DEFINITION of "bachpan"::: ------------------Once choosing the colour of a sketch pen was a tough task.
🔴🔵🔶🔷🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨

Occupying the window seat in the school bus was called obsession.🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎🚌🚎

Getting a toffee as a birthday treat from a friend made our day.
🍬🍫🍭🍬🍫🍭🍬🍫🍭🍭

Being the first one to finish copying from the blackboard was the ultimate moment of pride.
📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝📝

Hiding the answers
📄📃📑📝📋📋📋📋📋📋
from a bench partner during exams was not called selfishness.

When homework 📖📕📗📘📙📓📔📖📕📗
was the only torture & finished it soon,
so could get some extra time to play.🎮🏀🏈⚾⚽🎾🎱🏉🎯🎳

Early to bed
🙇🌙🙇🌙🙇🌙🌌🌙🌌🌙,
early to rise
☀🌞🌝☀🌝☀🌝☀🌙🌝
was life's mantra, but how we loved sleeping late and having some extra TV time!
💻📺🎮📻💻📺🎮📻💻📺

Owning a cycle was owning BMW
🚲🚵🚴🚲🚵🚴🚲🚵🚴🚲

To look good was only to wear our fav dress frocks for girls n half pants for boys.
👗👖👗👖👗👖👗👗👖👖

We didn't need FB or a phone to keep in touch!
👭👬👯👭👭👬👯👬👭👭

We thought all elders are ideal, when Daddy was the only hero
👴
and Mom was the only Best friend."👪

So what they say is right.
"Everybody dies twice. Once when their childhood ends."
🙇🙇👭👭👬👬👬👭🙇🙇

Got this awesome msg that made my day
👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
Hope u all like it too..:)
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 send ths to all your frndzz...... Nd make realise thm tht u haven't forgotten ur childhood. 😊☺👫👬👫👬👫

Husband wife sms: A mechanical engineer went to police station for

A mechanical engineer went to police station for
filing report for his missing wife:

Engineer : I lost my wife, she went for shopping and still not reached home yet

Inspector: What is her height

Engineer: I never noticed

Inspector: Slim or healthy

Engineer: Not slim can be healthy

Inspector: Colour of eyes

Engineer: Never noticed

Inspector: Colour of hair

Engineer: Changes according to
season

Inspector: What was she wearing

Engineer: Saree/suit/ I don't
remember exactly

Inspector: Was she going in a car ?????????

Engineer: yes

Inspector : tell me the number ,name and color of the car

Engineer: black audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-
speed tiptronic automatic
transmission with manual mode.
And it has full LED
headlights, which use light
emitting diodes for all light
functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door
…. And
theN the engineer started crying…..

Inspector: Lets search for the car first 😂😛

Husband wife sms: Aao Wife ki nazar se duniya ko dekhoo.

💝Aao Wife ki nazar se duniya ko dekhoo..
🔰World ka sab se perfect man
-uska daddy.
🔰World ki sabse pyari aurat
-uski maa
🔰World ki sabse akkalmand aurat
-woh khud
🔰World ka sabse dukhi pati
-uska bhai.
🔰World ki sabse badi chudeal
-uski bhabhi
🔰World ka sabse sundr ladka
-uska beta
🔰World ka sabse Nasibdar aadmi
-uski behan ka pati.
🔰World ki sabse badi gawar aurat
-uski saas
aur dunia ka sabse kharab,nikamma,selfish,jhootha,kanjus, bekar aadmi
✈-YE BHI LIKHNA PADEGA KYA?😜😜 😘

Political humor: OUR PRESENT GOVERNMENT'S MOTTO :Pakistan bhale

OUR PRESENT GOVERNMENT'S MOTTO :Pakistan bhale
hi delhi taak aa jaye...Modi nai ana chahiye....

Naughty sms: American boy: mom i am dark even

American boy: mom i am dark even though u r white, why? Mom: listen son, considering all mistakes n crazy things that i had done in my youth, forget about being dark, just thank God that u don't bark! 😜😜

Flirty sms: Being in relationship & being in

Being in relationship & being in hospital is almost same thing in india..





Everyone asks : Serious hai kya..??? 😜😝😉

Funny sms: Marwari Girl: Aaj bhaiya ne

Marwari Girl: Aaj bhaiya ne mujhe tumhare sath bike pe dekh liya.

Boy: Oh no! fir kya hua?

Marwadi Girl: Phir kya....Hamari toh bahut hi strict family hai!!


Rikshe ke paise wapas le liye!
😜
A Butterfy lives only 14 days
But still it flies joyfully capturing many Hearts. Each moment in life is precious
Be Happy and Keep winning Hearts..
Good Morning.

Shayeri sms :लोग मन्जिल को मुश्किल समझते है...!

लोग मन्जिल को मुश्किल समझते है...!
हम मुश्किल को मन्जिल समझते है..!
बडा फरक है लोगो मे ओर हम मै,
लोग जिन्दगी को दोस्त ओर हम दोस्त को जिन्दगी
समझते है....!
आदते अलग हे हमारी दुनिया वालो से,
कम दोस्त रखते हे मगर
लाजवाब रखते है...!
क्योंकि बेशक हमारी माला छोटी हे
पर फूल उसमे सारे गुलाब रखते हे....! .!

Funny sms: WHAT IS TENSION

WHAT IS TENSION
Ladki ne Apse Lift mangi
Raste me UskiTabiat
Kharab h0gai
Aap Hospital Le gay
Doc bola
Ap bap ban'ne wale ho
apk0 TENTION!
Ap bole
Me iska
Bap nhi!
Phr ladki se pucha
Ladki boli
Yehi
Baap he
Apk0 0r tenti0n
Phr
Police i
Apka medical chek up hua

Report i k
Ap to kabhi
Bap hi
Nhi bn sakte
Aap ne
Upar wale ka
Shukr
Ada kia
Aur ap khushi khushi bahar a gaye!
0r phr
Socha k

Ghar pe jo 2 bachche hen..
Wo kis k hen..
apk0 phr TENTION
केंद्र सरकार का होटलों को आदेश ;
प्याज के पराठे खाने वालो के लिए PAN कार्ड अनिवार्य
😝😝
😂😂

Shayeri sms : A very beautiful poem on today's fast life.

A very beautiful poem on today's fast life.
"WAQT NAHI"

Har khushi hain logo ke daman me,
par ek hasi ke liye waqt nahi.

Din raat daudti duniya me,
zindagi ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Maa ki loree ka ehsaas toh hain,
par maa ko maa kehne ka waqt nahi.

Saare rishto ko toh hum maar chuke,
ab unhe dafnane ka bhi waqt nahi.

Saare naam mobile me hain,
par dosti ke liye waqt nahi.

Gairon ki kya baat kare,
jab apno ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Aankhon me hain neend badi,
par sone ka waqt nahi.

Dil hain ghamo se bhara hua,
par rone ka bhi waqt nahi.

Paiso ki daud me aise daude ki,
thakne ka bhi waqt nahi.

Paraye ehsaso ki kya qadar kare,
jab apne sapno ke liye hi waqt nahi.

Tu hi bata aey zindagi,
is zindagi ka kya hoga.

Ki har pal marne walo ko,
jeene ke liye bhi waqt nahi..!!
😊..

Long sms :Various laws that are applicable in day to day life.....

Various laws that are applicable in day to day life.....

💮 Law of equality :

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll cal u in 5 min!📞📱
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Queue:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.😓
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Telephone:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.😅
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.😖
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.😐
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮Bath Theorem:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.😓
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.😥
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 😳
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Bio mechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 😣
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Theatre Rule:

People with the seats at the farthest from the screen arrive last. 😅
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold. 😩
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
💮 Law of Proposal :

After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..😜

Political humor: Agricultural Minister doesn't know what went wrong with Onions !!

Agricultural Minister doesn't know what went wrong with Onions !!

Defence Minister doesn't know what went wrong in
submarines !!

External Affair
Minister doesn't know what went wrong with Pakistan and CHINA !!

Home Minister doesn't know what went wrong at Bodhgaya and Hyderabad !!

Finance Minister
doesn't know what went wrong with Rupee !!

Coal Minister doesn't know who robbed the files from
the ministry!!

Prime Minister
doesn't know what went wrong with all of above !!

And then you
see full page ads in the name of Rajiv Gandhi / Indira Gandhi / Jawaharlal Nehru in all major papers using our well earned money saying

HO RAHA BHARAT
NIRMAN.... !!!

I am sure some of the meaning might not known ! Do you !

I am sure some of the meaning might not known ! Do you !

🔗News =
North East West South.
🔗Chess =
Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers.
🔗Cold =
Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.
🔗Joke =
Joy of Kids Entertainment.
🔗Aim =
Ambition in Mind.
🔗Date =
Day and Time Evolution.
🔗Eat =
Energy and Taste.
🔗Tea =
Taste and Energy Admitted.
🔗Pen =
Power Enriched in Nib.
🔗Smile =
Sweet Memories in Lips Expression.
🔗Bye =
Be with you Everytime.

share these meanings as majority of us don't know these. 😃

Political humor: किसी को खुदा की खुदाई मार गई

किसी को खुदा की खुदाई मार गई ,


किसी को यार की जुदाई मार गई ।


मनमोहन बुरा आदमी नही था यारो,


उसे तो राजीव गाँधी की लुगाई मार गई ।।

Political humor: The Haircut......

The Haircut......

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.


Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.

The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up,
there were a dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

REMEMBER: POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON.

If you don't forward this, nothing bad will happen.
But someone will miss good laugh 😀👏😀👌😀👏😀

Sharabi sms: Ever Heard about

Ever Heard about the device that converts
thoughts into speech...????
.
.
It''s called Alcohol..😜

Husband wife sms: husband wife series :d

💙 WHO'S GUILTY !
Husband and wife are 💙 WHO'S GUILTY !
Husband and wife are sleeping..
Wife dreaming... and she suddenly shouts "Quick, my husband is back"... Husband gets up in lightning speed & jumps out of the window.


💙 Total Disaster !
Two friends were walking but suddenly they stopped.
1St : Oh my god !! my girl friend & my wife r coming together...!!!
2nd : Damn Mine too...!!


💙 Banner In Front Of a corporate office:
"Drive Slowly, Don't Kill The Employees. Leave Them To Us.. We Do It In A Legal Way
Regards,
HR

💙 Sardar sir k sath sath kandho par bhi
shampu laga rha tha.
Wife - kandho pe shampu kyo laga rahe ho?
Sardar - Pagli ye koi aam shampu nahi hai
ye Head.. &.. Shoulder hai..

💙 Wife- U luv me. Hubby- Of course i do. Wife- Toh aap meri parvah kyun nahi karte. Hubby- Pagli pyaar karne wale kissi ki parvah nahi karte

💙 Santa ki tapasya se khush ho kar Bhagwan bole-
'VAR MANGO VATS'.
Santa Prabhu !! Jaisa aap soch rahe ho me waisa nahi hu...
'MUJHE VADHU CHAHIYE'

💙 Husband & Wife dono market gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya..
Wife:"kaun thi wo ??
Husband:"Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo,.. . abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho..!!

Husband wife sms: The Guy's Rules:

The Guy's Rules:
(We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side). These are just rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men ARE not mind readers

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmailing

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your saheli are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 5 Days..

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see only 7 colors.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. U r in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really dont mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh😝😉

Reply sms: Guess what is written in this picture

Political humor: ब्लैकमेल करने की हद तो देखें...

ब्लैकमेल करने की हद तो देखें...

एक भिखारी एक बोर्ड पकड़ कर बैठा था, जिस पर लिखा था-
'मुझे पैसे दान करें, नहीं तो मैं कांग्रेस को वोट कर फिर जिता दूंगा और फिर आपको भी मेरे साथ यहां बैठकर भीख मांगनी पड़ेगी। सोच लें, फैसला आपके हाथ में है!

Political humor: USD = UNITED STATES DOLL

USD = UNITED STATES DOLLAR
EUR = EURO
GBP = GREAT BRITAIN POUND
INR = IZZAT NAHI RAHI....

Option pe option

This one is mind boggling...😉😉
Option pe option😆😆

2 sikh soldiers capture a pakistani,
gave him a dice🎲 & said:
If u get 1,2,3,4,5,We'll kill u.
Pakistani askd:
Aur agar 6 aya to?
Sikh Fauji:
'LUDO' nahi khela kya? Phir se chance milega...😜😜😜6⃣🔄

Pappu n papa: Papa: whom do u like more...mama or papa??

Papa: whom do u like more...mama or papa??
Pappu: both
Papa: no..tell me one name..
Pappu: both
Papa: OK..if I go to America n ur mom goes to Paris....where will u go??
Pappu: Paris
Papa: DAT means u like ur mom more
Pappu: no..its bcoz Paris is more beautiful Dan America.
Papa: OK...if I go to Paris n ur mom to America.. Dan where u will go??
Pappu: America
Papa: y?
Pappu: Paris to ghoom aaye na papa..😜😃

Long sms: Mere adhoore sapne...

_Mere adhoore sapne...👥💭💭💭

_Jab bachapan tha toh jawani dream tha…

_ jab jawan hue toh bachpan desire hain ….

_ Jab ghar mein rehte they azadi achi lagti thi…

_Aaj akele hain toh har pal ghar ke din yaad aate hain..…

_Kabhi hotel mein jana… pizza, burger khana…. Pasand hoti thi..…

_Aaj ghar par aana aur maa ke hath ke khane mein hi janaat hain....

_Jinse jhagadte they school mein un dosto ko internet mein talashte hain..…

_Aaj kal toh khush rehne ke tarike bhi hum google mein search marte hain….

_Facebook se dating…. Aur flipkart, ebay se shopping karte hain …

_Ghar par bhi baat ab whatsapp/gtalk se karte hain…

_Life ko laptop aur mobile mein samet dia hain….

_Hum shamjate hain humne khud ko update kia hain….

_Iss nai dunia mein humne kya guma dia….

_Kab kya badla hume kuch na pata chala..

_Paisa mila naam mila… kuch hain hum mein bhi yeh vishwas mila…

_Par kya choda… kya tyaga humne… iska na hisab mila….

_Khushi kisme hoti hain… yeh pata ab chala hain…..

_Bachapan kya tha iska ehsaas ab hua hain..

_Kash badal sakta mein zindgai ke kuch saal pichale….

_Kash jee sakta mein zindagi ek baar fir se…

_Kash mil sakta bachpan mujhko ek baar firse…🙇🙇

Funny sms:Kapil sharma making fun of salman

Salman: Main Revital kareeb 15 saal se kha
raha hoon

Kapil Sharma : SHAADI HO NAHI RAHI.
KATRINA KO RANBEER LE GAYA, AISHWARYA KO ABHISHEK LE GAYA..
REVITAL KHA KAR KYA MILA?
BABAJI KA THULLU 😂😂

Husband wife sms: Maruti Zen ki nilaami ho rahi thi.

Maruti Zen ki nilaami ho rahi thi...
.
.
Boli lagi.
.
.
15 lakh.
.
.
20 lakh.
.
.
.
40 lakh
Husband: Is khataare Gadi me aisa kya hai?
.
.
.
.
Seller: Iske 23 accident hue hai, har bar sirf
biwi
mari hai.
.
.
.
.
.
Husband: Iski maa ka sakinaka. . 1 crore

Husband wife sms: Maruti Zen ki nilaami ho rahi thi.

Maruti Zen ki nilaami ho rahi thi...
.
.
Boli lagi.
.
.
15 lakh.
.
.
20 lakh.
.
.
.
40 lakh
Husband: Is khataare Gadi me aisa kya hai?
.
.
.
.
Seller: Iske 23 accident hue hai, har bar sirf
biwi
mari hai.
.
.
.
.
.
Husband: Iski maa ka sakinaka. . 1 crore

Funny sms: Attachment Is Not When Two People Chat Day & Night. . . .

Attachment Is Not When Two People Chat Day & Night. . . .

Attachment is not when two people cant live without each other....

Attachment is not when two people cant stay away from each other for a moment...

But When Someone Emails U And Adds An Image Or Data File With It.....
That File Is Called Attachment...:😂

Funny sms:BABA‬ JI KA THULLU Defined

#BABA‬ JI KA THULLU Defined..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Aam Aadmi Mehnat Se Paise Kamata Hai.. Tax Pay Karta Hai.. Vote Karta Hai Usko Kya Milta Hai? ‪#BABA_JI_KA_THULLU‬

• Aap 5 Inch Ka Phone Lete Hai..Sochte hai Ladki Pat Jayegi Phone Dekhkar.. Aapko Kya Milta Hai? #BABA_JI_KA_THULLU

• Baccha Engineering College Join Karta Hai.. Sochta Hai Ki Voh Mazze Karega.. Ladkiya Patayega.. Usse Kya Milta Hai? #BABA_JI_KA_THULLU

• Aap FB Pe Kisi Ladki Ke Comment Ke Neeche Likhte hai "ADD ME I'M BLOCKED" Aur Sochte hai Ki Ladki Aap Add Karegi.. Aapko Kya Milta Hai? #BABA_JI_KA_THULLU

• BBM Chalane Ke Liye Blackberry Khareedne Walo Tumhe Kya Mila? #BABA_JI_KA_THULLU

• CA Mein Agar Aap Paper Revaluation ke Liye Dete Hai.. To Aapko Kya Milega? #BABA_JI_KA_THULLU

• Puri zindagi padhai karte hain...bt hum se zyada to anpad minister hi kamate hain...to hum sab ko kya mila...BABAJI KA THULLU....!!!!

• Ladki ko dil se pyar kro....din rat uske bina marne jaisi halat me raho....badle me aapko kya milega????

Sharabi sms: fact about alchohol

True Fact about Alcohol is :
"ya to yeh
Kambhakt
kam pad jati hai
ya
zyada ho jati hai !!!

Informative sms: 8 आश्चर्यजनक सत्य :

8 आश्चर्यजनक सत्य :

1. भारत में 80% लोग दुध नहीं पीते।

2. यु.के. में अब तक जुड़वा बच्चे पैदा नहीं हुए।

3. नेपाल में टाईगर इन्सानों के साथ सोते हैं।

4. साँप को अगर हवा में फ़ेंका जाये तो वह 10 सेकेण्ड तक उड़ सकता है।

5. ज़ेबरा का दिल नहीं होता।

6. बंदर चाईनिज ज़ुबान समझ सकते हैं।

7. हाथी के दुम के 1 बाल से एक वक्त में 3 मोबाइल की बैटरी चार्ज कर सकते हैं।

8. ये सब पॉइंट गलत हैं।


हम खाली बैठे टाइम पास कर रहे थे।


ध्यान से पढ़ने का शुक्रिया......बाकि आप भी शेयर करके टाइम पास कर सकते है ...😜

Political humor: Agar Anita gupta Sonia Gandhi

Agar Anita gupta Sonia Gandhi ki aawaz main attorney general ko fake call kar sakti hai to ab to koi Bhi PM ban sakta hai..

Bas call karke chup hi to rehna hai 😜

Funny BANIYA COLLECTION*


*BANIYA COLLECTION*

1. Baniya: Yeh banana kaise diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya : 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega.
Baniya : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de.


2. Baniya on his deathbed.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife: Yes, I'm here
My sons daughters r u all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya: To phir bahar wale kamre
ka pankha kyun chal raha hai ???


3. Baniya 14th floor se neeche gira
Girte waqt usne
apne ghar ki khidki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla ke bola:
MERI ROTI NAHIN PAKANA!


4. Baniya ne Sheikh ko khoon de ke uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne use MERCEDES gift kar di.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zaroorat padi,
Baniya ne phir khoon diya.
Ab ki baar Sheikh ne till wale laddu gift kiye,
Baniya : (Gusse se): Mercedes kyun nahin di?
Sheikh: Munna!!! Ab hamare andar bhi Baniya ka khoon daud raha hai...😜

Rajnikant joke: Rajani is back with new ones .....

Rajani is back with new ones .....

🔸Recently china airports were closed due to heavy fog ........ Later it was discovered that Rajanikanth was smoking in India!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Rajanikanth did his KG from seven different places..Today those places are known as IITs!!!!!!

🔸Government of india pays tax to Rajanikanth for living in India!!!!!!!

🔸Definition of solar eclipse:
When Rajanikanth stares at sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This greatest phenomena is called Solar Eclipse.........!!!!!

🔸Rajanikanth woke up one day and decided he should share atleast one percent of his knowledge with the world......
Thus.......The google was born!!!!

🔸Think what would have happened if Rajani would have born 150 years ago..?????
British would have fought for Independance....

🔸Best Rajani joke!!!!!! Even Ghajini remembers Rajani!!!!

🔸An email was sent from Mysore to Bangalore.
Rajanikanth stopped it at Mandya ....

🔸Why do earthquake occurs?????
Because at that time Rajanikanth's mobile is on vibration mode!!!!!!!!!

🔸Once Rajanikanth bunked a whole day in school.....!
Since then that day is known as.............Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸The pyramids in Egypt are actually.............
..........Rajanikanths primary school craft projects!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Breaking news: ISRO does not exists anymore.....!!
Rajanikanth purchased all the rockets for Diwali celebration!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔸Why did Rajani buy an acre of land wth 4 wells on each corner?????
...................... To play Carrom!!!!!!

🔸Before Tom Cruise, Rajani was approached for the movie Mission Impossible, but Rajani refused as he found the title insulting....

Santa banta sms: This is ultimate--

This is ultimate--
Yamraj to santa: "ur time is over, tell ur last wish...
It will be accomplished."

Santa:"I want to see manmohan speaking to rahul gandhi's wife at priyanka's son's retirement party .....!"
😀😀😃😜😂
Yamraj Fainted...!!

Husband wife sms: अभी शादी का पहला ही साल था,

👉 अभी शादी का पहला ही साल था,

ख़ुशी के मारे मेरा बुरा हाल था,

खुशियाँ कुछ यूं उमड़ रहीं थी,

की संभाले नही संभल रही थी..

सुबह सुबह मैडम का चाय ले कर आना

... थोडा शरमाते हुये हमें नींद से जगाना,

वो प्यार भरा हाथ हमारे बालों में फिरना,

मुस्कुराते हुये कहना की…

डार्लिंग चाय तो पी लो,

जल्दी से रेडी हो जाओ,

आप को ऑफिस भी है जाना…

घरवाली भगवान का रुप ले कर आयी थी,

दिल और दिमाग पर पूरी तरह छाई थी,

सांस भी लेते थे तो नाम उसी का होता था,

इक पल भी दूर जीना दुश्वार होता था…😍

😃

५ साल बाद……..😓

सुबह सुबह मैडम का चाय ले कर आना,

टेबल पर रख कर जोर से चिल्लाना,

आज ऑफिस जाओ तो मुन्ना को

स्कूल छोड़ते हुए जाना…

सुनो एक बार फिर वोही आवाज आयी,

क्या बात है अभी तक छोड़ी नही चारपाई,

अगर मुन्ना लेट हो गया तो देख लेना,

मुन्ना की टीचर्स को फिर खुद ही संभाल लेना…

ना जाने घरवाली कैसा रुप ले कर आयी थी,

दिल और दिमाग पर काली घटा छाई थी,

सांस भी लेते हैं तो उन्ही का ख़याल होता है,

अब हर समय जेहन में एक ही सवाल होता है…

क्या कभी वो दिन लौट के आएंगे,

हम एक बार फिर कुंवारे हो जायेंगे..
😡

Har shadishuda ki dil ki baat

Naughty sms: Ek ladka Tota khridne gaya

Ek ladka Tota khridne gaya...
ladka-mai kaisa lagta hun?
tota- harami lagte ho...
ladka-bada badtameez tota hai...
dukandar ne tote ko pakad k pani me dubo dia aur pucha fir dega gali?
tota-nahi,
fir ladke ne tote se kaha- agar mai ghar me ladki lau to tum kya sochoge?
tota-biwi hai.
ladka-agar do lau.
tota-biwi aur sali.
ladka-agar 3 lau?
tota-biwi,sali aur dost.
ladka-aur agar 4 lau?
tota-pani le aao bhai..maine toh pahle hi kha tha harami hai sala.=))

Husband wife sms: Arz kia hai ki,

Arz kia hai ki,

Keh do samundar se ki jarurat nahi uski lehro ki...

bas 1 biwi kaafi hai zindgi mein tufaan laane ke liye!! 😝

Funny sms: Can't beat this one

Can't beat this one..........
A man dropped his iPhone5 in toilet🚽 n started crying...
Suddenly he realized that d toilet goddess👼 came and offered him a golden iPhone5.

..He tried to be modest n said I need my own iPhone5 not the gold one.

The goddess replied: Ye wahi phone hai saale.. dho le bas..😜😂

Jago youth jago

Although a little longer msg.. Its worth a read,
Economics of Food Security Bill. Read to the end to understand impact on us & spread the word..

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that congress food security bill will worked and that no one would sleep without food .

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on congress plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (that means tax collected from us will be used for food security bill expensed. i.e equal distribution ).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Can you think of a reason for not sharing this?

Neither could I....."

Latest Arvind Kejriwal News, Arvind Kejriwal Breaking News

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Friendship sms: Ek aisi line, jisse ulta padho ya sidha

Ek aisi line,
jisse ulta padho ya sidha,
Dono hi acche lagte hain,

"Hai zindagi toh DOST Hain"...!!

send to all friends who r imp to u..
👏🙏👍👍

Quote on life sms: Five undeniable Facts of Life:

Sorry couldn't resist this...had to post it here...
Five undeniable Facts of Life:
1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate
them to be Happy. So when they grow up, they will
know the value of things, not the price.
2. Best awarded words in London.
"Eat your food as your medicines.
Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food"
3. The one who loves you will never leave you because
even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he will find
one reason to hold on.
4. There is a lot of difference between human being
and being human. A Few understand it.
5. U r loved when you are born. You will be loved
when you die. In between u have to manage...!

Naughty sms: A romantic moment Sahil par naujawan joda udaas baitha tha,

A romantic moment
Sahil par naujawan joda udaas baitha tha,
Ladke ne Ladki ko kaha kya bat hai udaas Q ho?
Ladki khamosh rahi.
Ladke se bardasht na hua or kaha koi waja to btao
Ladki door kinaarey par dekhne Lagi or Khamosh rahi
Ladka bola mujh se apna dukh Q chupa rhi ho?
Ladki ne apni palken jhukai or Us ki ankho se Ansu
nikal gaye.
Ladka tadap utha or bola ab bta do nhi to mai
jaan de dunga
Ladki ne bheegi palkon k saath Rait Par Likha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Paad Maar rahi thi
POTi Nikal Gai.. :)

Husband wife sms: Husband: "Hi Honey, I was driving to Susan's place along the coast road

Husband: "Hi Honey, I was driving to Susan's place along the coast road and had a sudden puncture. The car skidded and rolled over. Only a small tree kept me from sliding over a cliff and falling 500 feet. I managed to crawl out of the car only one second before the tree snapped and the car fell over the cliff. I am now in hospital with a broken arm, several broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and severe concussion."

Wife: "Who is Susan?"

Height of JOB satisfaction

Height of JOB satisfaction
A boy was appointed as a
Receptionist in a Girls hostel.
After 2 months the owner called
the boy and said,
Why haven't you come to collect
your salary? . . . . . . .
Boy: oh my god! SALARY bhi hai!!! 😜

maine poocha chand se ki dekha hai kahin, mere yaar sa ha

🌙maine poocha chand se ki dekha hai kahin, mere yaar sa haseen!!

🌙Chand ne kaha-

Dekho..,
pehli baat to yeh ki mein tere baap ka naukar nahi hu.😠

Dusri baat yeh ki itni upar se Kuch dikhai nahi deta..👀

Aur teesri baat yeh ki yeh nautanki tum log zameen tak hi rakho,
mere ko isme involve mat karo 🌍
😄😜😂
♣♠♣♠♣♠♣♠

♠♣♠♣♠♣♠♣

Husband wife sms: Husband.Jaan socha call kr lun, tum miss to kr rai hogi? Wife: Or subah jo larai

Husband.Jaan socha call kr lun, tum miss to kr rai hogi?
Wife: Or subah jo larai hui thi wo kya tha?
..
..
..
..
Husband:
Oh fittay mun, ghar da number mil gya! 😛
💙 Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.
I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'

I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : 'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free'...
😝😜😂😆😋😅

Talaash Karo Ek Rooh Ki Jo Tumhare Dil Se Pyaar Kare, .

💘💕 "Talaash Karo Ek Rooh Ki Jo Tumhare Dil Se Pyaar Kare,
.
Warna,
.
Jism To Paiso Se Bhi Mil Jaaya Karte Hain!" 💕💘

KBC... Interesting Must read....

KBC... Interesting Must read....

You all know KBC is Good Business. But have you ever pondered how well?????

Any guesses?????

Let's see...

Airtel is charging Rs.6 per SMS sent for this contest. Assuming there are only 100 entries from say 10 cities of some 20 districts and 20 states...

6 (Rs. per SMS) x 100 (entries) x 10 (cities) x 20 (districts) x 20 (states) i.e. = 6 x 100 x 10 x 20 x 20 = Rs.24,00,000.

Rs.24 lakh in just 20 minutes (from people trying for the Rs.2 lakh cash prize). Imagine the scenario if 1000 entries try out from 100 cities?

The figure simply grows by 2 more zeroes and yields a whopping Rs.24 crore!!!!!

And it does not stop there. In practice, it could be another multiple of 100 or a multiple of 1000 on an average. In that case, it is 24 x 100 crore earnings in just 20 minutes on every episode!!!

And the prize money: A mere Rs.2 crore!!!!! (and from whose pocket?????)

Smart Business By Siddharth Basu! And the best part of the above calculation is just the SMS earning!!!!! What about the Ad money?????

A rough annual profit calculation goes like this:

(2400 x 5 x 4) (episode/month) x 12 = Rs.5,76,000 crore.

Let even 50% get dissolved in taxes and other payments; still, you will be left with (which includes

even the meagre Rs.480 crore of prize money, i.e., if every episode bags Rs.2 crore prize) –Rs.2,88,000 crore profit!!!!! (Only from SMS).

Therefore, a Very Simple Question: "KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI" and your options are...

A) SONY TV

B) AIRTEL

C) AMITABH BACHHAN

D) SIDDHARTH BASU

Computerji, iska jawab bataiye....

Answer: All FOUR..!!!!

Funny Facts About Engineers

Find it urself
Funny Facts About Engineers
1. For engineers every course apart from engineering is easy.
2. An engineer learns to power of getting up at 9.25 am and reaching in the class at 9.30 am.
3. T-shirt and jeans are engineers national dress and maggie national food.
4. A normal person will fix the broken things but an engineer will first brake that thing and than he would fix it. This is his lab work you don't have nay right to disturb him.
5. An engineer can build a car, space ship and they even can make time machine. However they just can't build a relationship with a girl.
6. An engineer don't care for the rise in rate of petrol or gold but they get mad when cigarette costs Rs.7 instead of Rs. 6.50
7. An engineer loves to solve a problem. If there is no problem than they will create one and would start solving it.
8. An engineer touches his car and phone more than his girl, if he have.
9. An engineer can have Dr. title but a doctor can't have Er. title.
10. An engineer can derive any relation just give them the final expression.
11. Are you made of copper(CU) and tellurium(TE), because you're CUTE. This is how Engineers flirt.
12. Non engineers have great mind, genius mind , brilliant mind but an engineer never mind.
13. An engineers's worst nightmare is teacher taking the class but not taking attendance.
14. An engineer can finish his syllabus in one night.
15. An Engineer knows nothing, but only an Engineer knows this.
16. An Engineer will never sleep in night and will never wake up in morning.
17. An Engineer is the most innocent person in front of his parents.
18. Never argue with an engineer because arguing with Engineers is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you'll end up slapping yourself.
19. The most common dialogue on the opening day of an engineering college is, "Bhai, iss saal bhi koi khaas ladkiya nahi hain!"
20. No one can speak better English than an engineer who is having a bottle of beer in his hand
21. There is always a hidden folder in engineers laptop...............😀😬😎

Husband wife sms: Put your wife in a room & lock it.

Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 😝😝

(Readers are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog 😜

Husband wife sms: Dr. Sahab Mein boht khush rehta hoon

Dr. Sahab Mein boht khush rehta hoon,
Neend sukoon se aati hai,
Zindagi main Aman hi Aman hai,
Har kaam main Dil b Lagta hai,
Koi pareshani hi nahi...Aisa kiyon hai ?


Doctor-
Mein aap ki Bimari samajh gaya hoon.
Aap ki zindagi may
Vitamin "She'' ki kami hai..😜😄

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!
*Our Phones ~ Wireless
*Cooking ~ Fireless
*Cars ~ Keyless
*Food ~ Fatless
*Tires ~ Tubeless
*Dress ~ Sleeveless
*Youth ~ Jobless
*Leaders ~ Shameless
*Relationships ~ Meaningless
*Attitude ~ Careless
*Wives ~ Fearless
*Babies ~ Fatherless
*Feelings ~ Heartless
*Education ~ Valueless
*Children ~ Mannerless
Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.
In fact we are ~ Speechless
And Parliament is –CLUELESS.
And our Prime Minister is – USELESS!!😜😝😛

Young blood of india

Recently, India's most well-known film script-writer Salim Khan (actor Salmaan Khan's father) has said to a senior journalist in an interview: "Does anyone remember who the chief minister of Maharashtra was during the Mumbai riots which were no less deadly than the Gujarat riots of 2002?

Does anyone recall the name of the chief minister of UP during Malliana and Meerut riots or that of the Bihar CM when the Bhagalpur or Jamshedpur riots under Congress regimes took place?

Do we hear names of earlier chief ministers of Gujarat under whose charge, hundreds of riots took place in post-Independence India?

Does anyone remember who was in-charge of Delhi's security when
the 1984 massacre of Sikhs took place in the capital of India?

How come Narendra Modi has been singled out as the Devil Incarnate as if he personally carried out all the killings during the
riots of 2002?"

No speck of doubt about what Salim Khan has said.

When one says Gujarat's agriculture growth is 10-11% since whole last decade
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says he made the Asia's biggest solar plant,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says Gujarat is the only state in the whole of India to provide 24*7 and 365 days electricity to almost all of its 18,000
villages,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says - World Bank's statement of 2011 said, Gujarat roads are equivalent to international standards,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says Gujarat is the first State in country to have "high speed wireless Broadband service in its all 18,000 villages,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says Forbes Magazine rated Ahmadabad as the fastest
growing city in India and 3rd in the world,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says Gujarat Tourism is growing faster than ever before,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says according to central govt's Labour Bureau's report, Gujarat has the lowest unemployment rate in country,
The other says 2002 Riots!

When Narendra Modi is being chosen as the best current Indian leader in
almost all surveys & polls again and again
The other says 2002 Riots!

When one says 2003-2013 are the only 10 straight years in Gujarat history which are totally riot-free,
The other STILL says 2002 Riots!

But when we remind them about riots which occurred during Congress and in Communist Party rule :

1947
Bengal....5,000 to 10,000 dead ...CONGRESS RULE.

1967
Ranchi....200 DEAD..........CONGRESS RULE.

1969
Ahmedabad...512 DEAD........CONGRESS RULE.

1970
Bhiwandi....80 DEAD.............CONGRESS RULE.

1979
Jamshedpur..125 DEAD......CPIM RULE (COMMUNIST PARTY)

1980
Moradabad...2,000 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE.

1983
Nellie Assam.....5,000 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE.

1984
anti-Sikh Delhi...2,733 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE

1984
Bhiwandi....146 DEAD....CONGRESS RULE

1985
Gujarat.....300 DEAD..CONGRESS RULE

1986
Ahmedabad......59 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE

1987
Meerut....81 DEAD...CONGRESS RULE

1989
Bhagalpur......1,070 DEAD......CONGRESS RULE

1990
Hyderabad......300 PLUS DEAD....CONGRESS RULE

1992
Mumbai....900 TO 2000 DEAD....CONGRESS RULE

1992
Aligarh....176 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE

1992
Surat.......175 DEAD.....CONGRESS RULE

they become totally deaf ..................because they have no answer.

Congress is a government of hypocrites.

The youth of India says:............

We are not interested in 2002, We are interested in 2022

Double meaning joke

Most confusing double meaning jokes...

Girl: aaj office jate hi boss mujpe chad gaya!
Friend : Q???
Girl: main "late gayi" thi..😝

1st frnd to 2 Friend: "Lay mithai kha!"
1stFriend: Kis gal Di?
2nd frnd: Teri Bhabi call centre wich job kardi ai, Tay unu Best "CALL GIRL" da Award mila ay!😱

DHABE Pe PATI Ne 1 BANANA SHAKE & PATNI Ne 2 mosambi juice Piye.
Counter Pe Payment K Time WAITER Ne AAWAZ Di-BHAIYA Ka 1 KELA Aur BHABHI Ka 2 Mosambi Kaat lena. -🍌🍏

Pappu n papa sms

😜😜 Pappu ne "Live Radio Station" call ki : Hello.. ji ye Radio station hai ?

RJ: ji Haan

Pappu: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ?

R.J: Haan

Pappu: Yani ghar mein jo meri behan Radio sunn rahi hai.. wo Bhi sun rahi hogi..?

R.J (Ghusse me) : Haaan bai haan😠

Pappu: Hello Gullo! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai.. toh jaldi se Motor chala de...!
Main uper chhat par.. Toilet mein huu aur Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!

😂😂

Super msg of the day ....

Super msg of the day ....

"If newly weds are called "Love Birds"..😃😃😃

What will you call the couples married for the years ??

.
.
.

"Angry Birds" !!! 😜😝😛
How strange it is
-We wish to earn lots of money,
but we had the best times only when we had just 10 bucks in our pocket.

-We wish to wear high brands
but we feel most comfortable in pajayma pants.

-We wish to sit in Taj & Marriot with elite people
but we enjoy roadside tea with friends and with ppl we love..the most.

-We wish to own big cars and go on long drives
yet we talk our heart out only while walking down a long road.

-We have 64GB iPods filled with songs
but sometimes a song on the radio brings a smile that can't be compared.

-Life is simple indeed
But We make it complex by running after what NEVER gives us joy.....

Love life 👍
Take note of small things....!!!
Keep Smiling😀
n Enjoy. ..
Time never returns for anyone. .😜🙏💐